I am hurt ...............?

Question

it so happened since we got married my husband does not want me to go to my parents house with the kid he said he is upset with my parents he says once they spoke rude to him and thats why they dont like him it had happened about 9yrs back he says he cant foget please tell me since 5yrs since my son was born i could not take my son to my parents now he says i can go alone to my parents house if i want and that would not stepin that house again eversince i notice it was only once my father was a bit in angry with him but later they had admitted their fault and they keep coming and visiting us why is he like that both family cannot get in good terms although my inlaws always complain about me and my work i did not say a word to my parents and when i ask my husband why that his mother is always complaining about me and i would like to stay separate he shouts at me i am feeling very hurt with his behavoiur please tell me what should i do how to handle this stituations

Answer 1

your hubby is a controller, and his behavior can be considered abuse..he is a cold hearted guy and wont let go of the past..so you need to take your son anywhere you please,if he dont like it,there isnt really anything he can do about it.

Answer 2

You have every right to be able to take your children to your prent house. They are the Grandparents and that is aa very speial relationship. Your husband doen't have to like your parents to relize that they are missing out by not going over to their house. As for his mom cuttting you down, he should stick up for you. You are his wife and should be the most important woman in his life. You have been married long enough that arguements between families are going to hjappen. Talk to him honestly and tell him how much not being able to take your kids to your parents is hurting you. Stay calm and try not to blame him. That should make him more receptive. Put it to him this way, if the kids can go tohis parents they can go to yours. They are both of your kids and it isn't up to him to dictate how they are raised. Keep trying. From a person who had no grandparents due to death before i was born it is a relationship i missed greatly. I hear my brother and sisiters talk about all the fun stuff they did with our grandparents and realy wish I had known them. good luck

Answer 3

Control, Control. Why are you letting him control your life? He sounds very immature, they are such things as grandparents rights, your parents have every right to see those children, i would tell him to grow up and be a man or you will take the kids and leave his controlling behind. Just stand up to him, in the long run you will feel better and those kids will not be deprived of the love and attention grandparents can bring in their lives.

Answer 4

There seems to be something your not telling us going on, If not then he knows he has you well under his control and is afraid your parents will try to get you out of this situation. Dear this is 2007 not 1950 women do not put up with this crap anymore, You need to see if you can get to a Domestic Violence counselor. He may not hit you but this is emotional and verbal abuse. My 1st marriage was something like this took me 9 years to get away. Please talk to your parents at least.

Answer 5

the child is both of yours right? unless your parents are crazed axe murders or they verbally slam your hubby in front of the kids there is no reason they shouldn't visit there grandparents. your husband sounds like a control freak. take the kids to see mom and dad if hubby wants he can come too, or he can stay behind, but put your foot down now before he controls everything in your life.

Answer 6

This sounds like a case of control more then anything it is ok for you to be with his parents and it is ok for his parents to say bad things about you but not your parents about him....Your family has a right to the grandchildren as well as you, I would be looking for some councellor to help or maby your local pastor if he dosn't want to get help arrange for you and the kids to leave saftley domestic violence organizations may be able to assit here.

good luck with it mental abuse is real and can be very hard.

Answer 7

Do the same things back to him. he can only go back to his parents without you and son.if he go back alone, he do not need to step back the house again. Sometime men only think of their own parents and their own feelings. Hope from this, he can have the same hurting feeling as yours and if he really want/love this family, he will think twice and respect you. if he still keep threatening you.. please move on without him.

Answer 8

He is controlling. If he won't go to marriage counselling, you need to leave.

Love is not about power and control. He is trying to isolate you from your family, the more isolated you are, the more controlling he will become.

Suggest marriage counselling, if he refuses, leave. It is not healthy for you or your children to be involved in a controlling relationship.

Answer 9

you can only tell him how you feel. explain your feeling and how you feel its unfair to be asked of soemthing that he can't give you in return. my husband and I fought a lot about family at one point in time. Just show him he comes first. I would talk to him and your family. try to get along better or ignore his familys remarks. Are you happy with your husband? Thats all that matters. build others around you , not yourself around others.

Answer 10

people will treat us the way we allow them to, by u not expressing yourself, he thinks he can get away with it, he may think your parents know something about him and may talk u into a divorce, so he is going to hurt them because they once may have spoken the truth about him, and they may know about him. i would not allow hi to control me, or where i take my children. sometimes u just have to stand up to a bully.