what types of things do you need to keep to yourself. before revealing to that new person? Like for example, what types of things would you consider NOT telling them....and that would be considered personal...at that time....(because you do not know them well enough)?
Please, don't give a general answer like "all" answers...I would sincerely be interested in knowing what is considered "proper" in getting to know new people...and what is better to "wait" on first...(as in personal info, on oneself)...Thanks!
2007-03-24 02:09:47 · 13 answers · asked by ladyk 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
My hubby keeps telling me that I am too open...I haven't had that many problems with other people...but where we are now....things could be VERY different...so I need to really change parts of me...and I wanted to ask you all what YOU personally don't say....as I am going to change more about myself, from now on!(I kind of wish that I didn't have to...but, it would be much better being safe, than idiotic, ya know?!!!)
Thanks for the extra help here! :-)
2007-03-24 02:19:32 · update #1
listen just be yourself - there is nothing improper with telling people about yourself as long as it doesnt make you feel uncomfortable - dont put yourself in a box they are hard to get out of. you will find REAL friends that way
2007-03-24 02:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by rooster 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have studied this in psychology classes. There are general paths that most people follow. As in keep personal problems and issues to yourself. state a job or employment but not much more. limit information on education, money, income, assets, age, and other peoples relationships.
I however am the socially abrupts and awkward INTP. Look up a kiersy temperment sorter to find out your type. As an INTP or introverted, intuitive, thinking ect person. One i do not like to be around many people. I say what i say without much thought. I do not have a high need for acceptance by other people. Age has helped a lot with this. I no longer feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I am who i am and make no apologies. I do try to take it easy on newbies around me though. I feel people will either like me or not. I prefer to have friends with people who can like me for who i am and do not have expectations of changing me or put me in the place where i have to struggle to be someone who i am not. As an artist writer i can get away with this. If however you work anyplace where you have to interact with people you have to find some way to modulate this some. A good rule is only share one fourth of what you think you might tell someone. With the exception of a spouse, significant other in a well established relationship or with a best freind or mom and dad.
2007-03-30 13:28:35 · answer #2 · answered by Pazzionflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband thinks you are too open, then the issue is your husbands, not yours. If you think you are too open, then the answer to what you should keep to yourself will be stirring in you. You will know.
If you don't feel that you are too open, then you proabably aren't. You might just be an open, honest and sharing person. There is nothing at all wrong or inappropriate with that.
2007-03-31 06:57:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless any of these are your "deal breakers" (things that unless they accept them you wouldn't pursue a 2nd meeting) I'd keep them to myself on a first date:
Any detail about past relationships (assuming it is a romantic interest)
My fears
My income
Strong negative feelings about any issue.
I'd keep the mood upbeat and positive. I would not lie if asked, but you don't need to go into details. Save some mystic for future meetings.
2007-03-24 09:18:12 · answer #4 · answered by ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say just keep the conversation very casual, work, hobbies weather that sort of thing. Then if you feel the friendship is going anywhere thats when you need to let the personal details out slowly.
2007-03-29 20:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by kissaled 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a new peoples we met for the first time is a stranger, totally stranger !! thats the basic view.
U should have to look them deeply through their words when in a conversation.. to know, how interest they re about u, how care they re about ur stories of life...
- dont reveal ur secret to the people who talked too much and have a big mouth, they most talked about their stories and wouldnt let u even in a minute to telling about urs... and one day fine, they might reveal ur stories to another persons...
go find someone which have a type like a bit silence or a sporty one is also fine...they may keep ur stories safe.
- remember, for the first month...all u got to tell is just ur hobbies and daily life...if he/she is interesting with it so u may continue to tell her/ him another part of urs...but not reveal a private one, such as : ur wild sex fantasy, ur family's probs, ur private act u've done with ur bf, and ur financial.
above all of those, u still had to keep ur "one" best secret of life specially a thing related with u...
who knows that one day "the cute mouse suddenly might turned into a tiger..."
and one thing left, its not always safe to reveal all secret about u to other person, that u knew only just for 1 year...
2007-03-24 09:39:35 · answer #6 · answered by vio 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just think before you speak...Is there anything I'm about to say that could be turned around and used to hurt me or my family.
Some people look for negatives, you should never talk bad about your husband or about anything in your personal private relationship.
Try to be nice and keep your private life securely guarded.
People love to gossip and they will, so don't give them something maybe they will just skip over you and go on to the next target.
Loose lips sink ships!
2007-03-24 12:48:20 · answer #7 · answered by motogirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends on what the person says to you.
Probably nothing too deep into your personal life, of course.
The first time I met a girl, 10 minutes into the conversation she told me that she wasn't a virgin. I didn't know what to say, so I said "Uh.. okay.." So nothing that would make the new person feel awkward, and nothing that you wouldn't want to share voluntarily.
2007-03-24 09:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
anything that is going to make to vunerable to criticism like your views on religion or abortion. Any personal problems you are having with your husband or boyfriend or family. It is best not to tell people these things until you know you can trust them.
2007-03-24 09:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by Diana K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, if it has to do with sex, money, religion or politics, keep it to yourself (the obvious exception being if you meet at a church event or political do). Talk about any other interests.
2007-03-24 09:14:04 · answer #10 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋