I'm 22, not *really* married and I'm a top answerer here? What do you think?

Question

I've read rants, only for the 25 and up crowd or the legally married, but alas, I still answer. What do you think? Obviously, I can't answer questions I don't have insight into, like many of the divorce or child related questions, but some of them eh, I think I'm quite good at.

Does marriage here on Yahoo! Answers include the traditional sense of simple cohabitation with real commitment or no? We're definitely NOT dating or on some sort of silly fling. We are going to do the party and ritualistic event, but it's really just symbolic. To us, commitment is entirely personal and something that we need to work towards and those who attend our wedding? Well, it's mostly just our older relatives that have religious ties to the whole thing and find some sort of altristic happiness from it, but we grew up in the 'screw what you think' generation and I just don't get it!

Lady Hewitt, I'm suprised too!

Answer 1

I couldn't agree with you more. No piece of paper can tell me how I'm supposed to feel about the one I love. I didn't love her any more before or after I married her. It's a legal thing just in case of breakup or death in my mind. It really has no bearing on the relationship.

I feel badly for people who don't think you are really together if you haven't had a ceremony. Even worse for those who think you can't have sex until marriage.

Answer 2

One wonders if altruism plays a significant role in marriage.

Besides that, the difference between your situation and real marriage can be compared to the difference between playing poker with cute little plastic chips or driving to Vegas and plunking down real $100 dollar bills.

Sure, it's still "playing poker" with plastic chips and you can gain some insight from it, but until you make it official and put yourself in a situation where you can lose everything and everyone knows you are out there betting the farm, you miss some of the real world things poker -- and marriage -- can teach you.

Oh I am sure "in your hearts" you are married, but face it - it's ten times easier for you two to split up than it is a married couple. I don't give a dang about the religious aspect. It's the social, legal, community, emotional, psychological, and practical aspects that make actually getting married much more difficult than playing house.

And being in the real thing teaches you some things that being on the outside can't. I haven't read many of your questions, but I think I recall you asking for a woman to wait on you and your partner hand and foot while she ate only ramen and dog food; you have told us you are afraid of the dark and monsters, and you say you like to ask your partner for sex then "giggle and deny him sex."

Yes you have numerous best answers, and that's great, but at 22 and being unmarried and with some of the stuff you have written about yourself... I certainly won't pass judgment and I am certain my insignificant opinion of you is worthless, but at the same time I think virtually anyone at your age, who is unmarried and barely even knows who they are, has got some maturing and growing up and life experiences to go through before their 'screw what you think'-based advice rings true.

See you out there.

Answer 3

Actually if you read the reports more couples are living together then getting married. Not having some piece of paper saying your married doesn't make you less a couple or less in love. I think some just get married to make there family happy or worse because of a child. Living together is a marrage just with out the paper. So never get married to make other people happy do it for yourselves...........

Answer 4

First of all, answering anything here doesnt mnake any of us qualified. Most of the answers are crap and people decide to listen to those they want to hear anyway. I would bet that most of the people who reply things like "They are your ex for a reason" have never been married. The fact is, this is just a way to gauge a little bit of human nature. Answer what and however you like.

Answer 5

marriage is a symbol. I believe it shows others what you have, but I wouldn't feel any differently about my husband if we weren't married. I love him and we have children and I have never felt so good. Inside and out he makes me smile. I feel feelings that I didn;t even know exist. If you have or have had what someone is explaining about than you can connect or understand them. Thats why you can probably answer questiond because you share the sme things with your partner regaurdless of marital status.

Answer 6

I think it is good for you to be a top answerer here. You must be somewhat knowledged in this area to be a top answerer. Congratulations to you. I am a to contibutor too BUT i am married and very happily so and i like to share about my life and experiences and like to help and encourage others where and when i can. I do this to help people not for any glory or fame. I am surprised i am a top contributor to be honest with you. You do not have to be married to have good advice in this section ... You just have to know something about marriage or dirvorce to be able to share or ask questions and learn. This is my favorite section to ask and answer questions because helping people who are married or thinking of marrying is a passion of mine and it is something i love to do. If what i say or offer to someone as a suggestion helps them in any way to better their life or situation at all I feel so good inside that i could be of some help to them! I sleep much better at night knowing that i helped and tried to encourage someone today.

Answer 7

I'm with ya sister! in this day and age what does marriage really mean? u used to have to marry to have sex now u dont, u can do all the same things single or married u just dont get your hubbys health insurance! i believe a "marriage" is just 2 people who live and love together. they share responsibilities of household and money matters. and are commited to one another. marriage is just the legally binding document that the courts must resolve. But watch what u get into. if u buy a home, car etc together there is no court that will sort that out for u. my man and i have signed papers and things between each other, just as proof of our intentions. we are buying a house and it will be in his name, if we split up, i will get back any money i put in for improvements, plus my down payment money.

Answer 8

Do yourself a favor, I think you will find it interesting. Print out this question and all of the answers to it. Put it in a scrapbook, journal, or someplace where you won't lose it. Take a look at it in ten years...you will have your answer and you will be ready to accept the truth about it. (I'm not kidding, do it)

Only when one knows everything are they then ready to learn.

Answer 9

Judging by your answers to relationship questions you clearly 'don't get it'!. Maybe answer questions you can help with instead of adding points to your board!

Answer 10

I really haven't noticed. I'm too busy answering questions myself. I hope none of my answers leads anyone astray.