In re: to that wonderful old show,"Gunsmoke." Can U write a few paragraphs that include these phrases?

Question

The theme is......."The Continuing Saga of Matt and The Women."
1. Is there a doctor in the house?
2. When you're going through hell, don't slow down.
3. Honesty, respect, and sex ...but not in that order.
4. I'm sorry, but there's laughter in my head.
5. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
6. Oh, it's that whole, you know, 'they don't like you' extravaganza.

Answer 1

I'm sorry, but there's laughter in my head as I think about this whole Continuing Saga of Matt and the Women....................
It was high noon at the LongBranch and it was a slow and lazy day.Following Matt's 'health crisis' some of the women had begun to question their involvement in this whole sordid affair. Silva in particular was getting mighty fed up."This is a Bunch of crap" she had told Festus just yesterday "Heck, I am so hot, cowboys would be lining up from here to Chattanooga to get some of this if they thought it was available! With that she stuck out her chest and pulled in her stomach.(Paris Hilton would not be born for many a year but THIS is where she got the gene!). At the mention of Chattanooga, Chola's ears had perked up."Well I for one am not willing to go through hell for any man, including Matt Dillon" Kitty had just served a drink to the turnip wagon driver who had dropped the new nurse Miss Marilynn into town, Hearing this she smiled "when your going through Hell , Chola dear , PLEASE don't slow down!, I do believe they've been waiting for you there with their pitchforks at the ready!" At this both Silva and the cowboy both broke into peals of laughter. Chola ignored them and went to sit next to the manure wagon driver, who had taken a hankering to her ever since the day he had given her a ride into town. Since then they had been getting mighty chummy."Oh, it's that whole, you know, 'they don't like you' extravaganza" she said " glaring at kitty and Silva "I really could care less"
Meanwhile outside Sunshine had rushed over to Docs office feeeling faint and queasy . She clutched the door handle leaning against it "Is there a doctor in the house" she asked breathing heavily. Nurse Marilynn ushered her in. "The Doc has gone over to Mrs Goober's to deliver her baby" she said. "Can I be of assistance"? Sunshine explained that she had been getting sick in the mornings and feeling nauseaus and weak at odd times in the day. After taking a bit more of her history and examining her she was convinced that Sunshine was most likely pregnant! Having been filled in by the town gossips about much of the current goings on, she knew the entire situation. Her and Sunshine wound up having a long heart to heart conversation about love, life and everything in between. Sunshine told her that she had always honored honesty, respect, and sex .....but not necessarily in that order. She wondered now whether the order had been correct after all! Marilynn had explained how and why she had become a nurse. "I dont know if its YOUR kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day, but for me it provides stability and purpose " She knew that Sunshine was also an artist in addition to her schoolteacing skills. The gals had been talking for over an hour when Matt rushed in. He had been told that Sunshine was seen hobbling over there and he was relieved to see her looking fine. Sunshine told the good nurse that she would be back the next day to see Doc, Marilynn had recommended it wanting Doc to be the one to tell her!! Watching Matt and Sunshine walking away together, Marylynn was thinking "They look so right together, I hope Sunshine IS pregnant and that they get married and live happily ever after !!" From her lips to God's ears!!!

Answer 2

"Oh, Miss Kitty!," Chester exclaimed as he walked through the saloon doors. "Is there a doctor in the house?" I need help bad, and the doc is helpin' Mrs. Pritchard deliver her new baby. My laig that I got shot in a few years back is hurtin' sumpin' feirce, and "when you're going through hell, don't slow down," 'cause it hurts worse if n you do.

Miss Kitty turns to Chester with a knowing smile and suggests that maybe Matt could take a look at it and offer advice on what to do, since the doc won't be back till tomorrow. "Ah, Miss Kitty," Chester replies, " I always aim to lead my life with honesty, respect, and sex...not in the order, ya know." "I know Chester, Miss Kitty replies as she bows her head closely to her chest. "What's matter, Miss Kitty?" "Nothin' Chester. I'm sorry, but there's laughter in my head". I don't know if that's your kinda thing, becase it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day. "I AM NORMAL!", Chester shreiks in protest. "Oh, I was just kiddin' with you, Chester," Miss Kitty said. She added with a broad smile and a wink, "Oh, it's that whole, you know, 'they don't like you' extravaganza." They both enjoy a hearty laugh and Chester nods in agreement, as he turns and exits from the saloon.

Answer 3

Silva can you believe we are the women...That is Sunshines way of being sarcastic, in her southern belle manner.
Silva and I are walking through Dodge City and all these old hags that live here are giving us the eye.
What the heck is their problem I ask Silva...Oh, it's the whole, you know, 'they don't like you' extravaganza.
Really...well I could give a rats petunnie who likes me, these old hags will not make Chola leave Dodge anymore than Kitty or Sunshine will!

All of a sudden Silva and I decide we are going in the Longbranch, we are real curious how old Kitty is holding up.
There she is in all her get up...and make up...oh she is just running around the saloon trying to keep busy...A thought comes to me, I turn to Silva and ask is Miss Kitty busy as a bee or what...I think we make the poor woman nervous...Silva gives a wicked grin she is so enjoying this and responds in her most southern accent...When your'e going through hell, don't slow down.

We are both laughing at this...she sure looks like hell...I can tell you that!

Oh lookie lookie here! In walks Miss Sunshine..if that's Sunshine I tell Silva I would hate to see a rainy day...oh the wench is with Matt...I swear she has eaten one to many meals at Delmonicos! Her corset needs another corset to keep that waist pulled in...Now Silva and I are really having a grand old time. Hope she doesn't fall poor Matt will need help picking her up...He will be yelling...Is there a doctor in the house?

Now Sunshine and Kitty are walking towards us, what are they the town trollops united...I hear them speaking but really I have no idea what they said...Chola we are talking to you...I'm sorry, but there's laughter in my head.
They give me a look oh the two of them look pathetic..Kitty has really been getting high on her rot gut supply...I can smell it over her cheap toilet water...Sunshine hasn't faired much better...age is creeping up on that face real fast...better pinch those cheeks some more dear...I'm thinking you are looking mighty pale.

Now I give them my attention, oh they sound like two hens hackling over Matt. Even he has walked away, and having a beer with Festus.

I am going to kill these two with the best weapon of all...Kindness! I say ladies would you care and join Silva and myself for a social this Sunday? I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.

If looks could kill I would have been dead on the spot! Oh I gotcha you two wenches...they look at each other...then back at me. Yes we would love to attend, they say that through clenched teeth...I can't wait for Sunday.

Silva and I decide to have a nice little tet a tae at my little abode. We have it all planned, little do they know that I was with Matt Friday, he left his hat at my place...I will make sure that it is in plain sight!

Silva tells me she saw him on Thursday...and she can't wait to let them know it.

We now really are excited...we have both decided we really don't want Matt...not for keeps...just for fun.
But Sunshine and Kitty now that is another story...That man is not ever going to settle down...Their just to blind to see it!

Well it is Sunday...let us see if we can open their eyes some...oh to much fun...I love a enlightened gathering among women!

I welcome them both in, they appear ill at ease...I pour them some wonderful tea, serve a platter of fresh fruits, Silva has made a wonderful soup.

We have all eaten and now Sunshine speaks up...What are we here for Chola? My dear you need not worry about me I say, as I glance over at where Matts hat lay...Good thing she was done with her soup...She would have choked...Is that...is that Matts hat? She could barely say it. Oh my yes I am so sorry you saw it, he left it here Friday.

Now Silva chimes in yes I was with him on Thursday...You should see Kitty and Sunshine...their faces are as red as two beets...that's funny since their like two peas in a pod...Now their two beat beets, oh Chola that is a good one!

What do you want with him?!...they both are screaming this at the same time.
Silva and I answer their question, easy...Honesty,respect and sex...but not in that order.

Now their beside themselves...You two never wanted Matt...
Now I have to say...just wait one blame minute...We always wanted what we got...Sex...we are not looking to marry Matt or any man for that matter!

Oh Sunshine and Kitty are a mess...What do they do now? They can keep fighting for Matt...who will ever win...now thats what a saga is...A never ending story.

Answer 4

Ah, another day in Dodge and another cat fight between Kitty, Silva, Sunshine and yes, even Chola. Things used to be pretty BORING around town, just an occasional bar fight, bank robbery, gun fight and stampede. Now with all of the ladies fighting for Marshal Matt Dillon’s attention, shenanigans have been occurring on a daily basis. Hopefully, no one will get hurt, but…

“Is there a doctor in the house?” shouted the barkeep. Getting no response, Festus took off to go get the good doctor. “Doc… You better get here quick” Festus said as he spied the Doc over at the general store. “Settle down Festus and tell me what the problem is” replied Doc. “Sunshine hit Miss Kitty over the head with a full spittoon.” “Miss Kitty is out cold” he said. “You know, I’m getting awfully tired of those women fighting” “Yesterday, Silva and Chola had Sunshine locked up in a closet.” “Today there’s another fight, when will it stop?” “Nothing lasts forever…So get over it” Festus said. Your just jealous because you’ve had you eye on Miss Silva and she isn’t returning the affection.” “Festus, sometimes you just have to abide your time.” said the Doc. “Matt will eventually get tired of all of the fuss these ladies are making, and settle for one of them, or someone else.” “When that happens, I’ll be waiting for her” said the Doc. “I want honesty, respect and sex…but not in that order” and I’m sure I’ll get it from Silva one day.” he said. “Now, let’s go and check on Miss Kitty and make sure she is okay.”

When Festus and Doc walked into the saloon, the first thing they head was “Not as long as I’m alive” shouted from Chola’s room. “Let me ask you something” Festus said to the barkeep. “Why do you keep them here when all they do is fight?” “No way am I going to tell them to leave, business hasn’t been this good.” “Everyone in town has been showing up to see which on of them is going to win Matt.” “As long as no one kills anyone, I think I’ll just let it play it’s self out” replied the barkeep.

Doc slowly made his way up the staircase and found Miss Kitty sitting up in Chola’s room. “Miss Kitty, let me take a look at your head” said the Doc. “I’m sorry, but there’s laughter in my head” said Miss Kitty. “It will disappear in a day or two” said the Doc. As Doc finished his examination of Miss Kitty, Chola, Silva and Sunshine came crashing back in. “When you’re going through hell, don’t slow down” said the Doc. Chola had one hand firmly implanted into Sunshine’s hair and was yanking so hard, Doc was afraid she might just end up with a fist full of hair. “Oh I will tear off those petticoats” said Chola as she made a grab at Sunshine’s clothing.

“That’s enough!” said the Marshal as he stood in the door frame of Chola’s room. “I don’t know if it’s your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day” he said to the ladies. Silva and Chola both began to sniffle. “Oh, it’s that whole, you know, “they don’t like you” extravaganza” said Matt to the ladies. “Now, I want this fighting to STOP immediately.” “You’re all lucky Miss Kitty wasn’t seriously hurt.”

“Now I want you all to listen to me” the Marshal said. I’m going to take Miss Kitty home and I want you to find a way to get along with one another while we are gone.” “All of you have been acting worse than the town drunk.” “I have half a mind to arrest you for assaulting poor Miss Kitty.” “Matt I will never believe that…you must have heat stroke” said Miss Sunshine. “I’ll show you kidding” said the Marshal. “Festus, arrest these three and take them all to jail.” “Maybe they will learn to get along if they spend some time together.”

As Chola, Silva and Sunshine sat in different cells, they began to talk. “This wouldn’t be so bad if the Marshal was here with us, but instead he is sitting with Miss Kitty, AT HER HOUSE” said Sunshine. “There is only room in Dodge City for one of us and she clearly has to GO” She said, and I’m going to make sure that happens soon, she added. Chola and Silva sat there wondering just what Miss Sunshine had up her sleeve, but seeing as she is a rival, they too were deep in thoughts on how to get rid of each other. The rivalry was never going to end that much was certain.

NOTE: I combined both Chola’s and Sunshine’s question together to make one story – enjoy.