She's staying with her parent's who will be here in 3 months for a wedding they have to attend. Also she said she would be home early and even said she put her name on some kind of waiting list for the airline. but now she changed her mind and wants to stay 3 weeks. I called the airline and they for a flight for her to leave early in a matter of minutes. has she has been lying to me about coming back early? what should I do?
2007-03-24 01:20:20 · 6 answers · asked by rick s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should be cool man. If she wanted to be with you right now, she would be. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. If you really love her, trust her and be thankful for her being happy. You can't make someone want you.
She also just spent how much money on a ticket? About 1000USD if you're from the States. (I know I live in Taiwan) Why do you want her to just turn around and come back?
Idea:
While you are waiting, go out and buy Ayn Rand's novel "The Atlas Shrugged". Philosophy written in fiction. Be careful you may lose your immaturity and insecurity.
2007-03-24 01:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Nice Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I don't even know where to begin with this one.
Firstly, why don't you trust your gf?
What's wrong with her staying in Taiwan a meezly 3 weeks? Taiwan's pretty far away, and if she goes there, maybe she should stay awhile, taking advantage of the fact that she's there.
But, considering how untrusting you are, I'm thinking of a couple things: Maybe she doesn't want to be with you because you're so untrusting. Or, maybe your reasons to not trust her are based on some solid evidence, you have a reason to not trust her, and again she doesn't want to be with you.
I sort of wonder why she went to Taiwan with your baby without you.
So, basically there are a couple of scenarious:
She doesn't want to be with you, so she made up reasons to go to Taiwan. Now she's in Taiwan and will stay there.
Have you been to Taiwan? Do you know where her parents live? Do you speak Chinese?
On the other hand, she might just be enjoying a bit of time over there and will be back to wherever you live and things will be fine.
The big question though is why the lack of trust? What exactly has happened in the past that you are so untrusting? Does it really have to do with her, or does it have to do with you?
Why aren't you married?
How traditional is she?
Is she from Taiwan, or do her parents just live there?
In Taiwan, most people who have a child are married. It's more traditional than the West in those regards. Maybe she figures that you aren't taking the relationship seriously and that the baby is better off in Taiwan with a supportive family instead of just a common-law relationship. Maybe she feels the baby needs more structure and can count on a family to be there, a family with commitments.
It's definitely not unheard of for an unwed mother to go back to her country with the child and bring it up there. You might think that you have custody of the child, and in the U.S. (is that where you are?), you might even gain legal custody, but she'll easily get legal custody in Taiwan, which is all that practically matters as that's where the baby is. She's the mother, and you're not even married to her.
You have to realize that at this point right now, your gf has ALL power over that kid. Now, is she going to come back to you, or is she going to stay in Taiwan? And what are you going to do about either situation?
I met a guy in Japan. Interesting situation. His wife had been previously married to an American in the U.S. They had 2 kids. Eventually the original husband got custody of the kids. Guess what? She didn't like that, so she took the kids with her new husband and moved to Japan (She's from Japan). The original husband had custody, and even took it to the higher courts and solidified his custody. The couple in Japan is wanted for kidnapping in the U.S.
It sounds all real and criminal, but taken from the Japanese perspective, that original dad has absolutely no legal or practical right. He's done and out of the picture completely.
Why? She's the mother. In Japan, and I would guess Taiwan too, the mother always gets custody of the children, unless it's very unusual circumstances. She's the mother, and she HAS the kids. What? She's not going to do a good job raising kids as their own mother? As the person who is willing to take the kids? All common sense says that she wants the kids and wants to raise them. There's really no problem. The original husband has absolutely no say in Japan. It doesn't matter if the supreme court in the U.S. rules that he has custody. He won't be seeing those kids until they're old enough to live on their own anyway.
So, all I can suggest is that you figure out your situation. Don't pull any legal stuff, because it will be irrelevant in Taiwan, and you'll only be giving the gf and kid more reason to avoid your country. Why would they return somewhere where they're considered criminal? You'll only be giving them more reason to hate your country too.
So, what will it be?
Wow, I went on a bit of a tangent there, but it's fun.
2007-03-24 08:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you can call her and ask her why the sudden change of plans....it is too early and with limited information to tell if she's lying or not...unless, you two are having problems before she and your daughter left
2007-03-24 08:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by nozmiat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait for her to come back in the meantime you can go and find a guy for your company
2007-03-24 08:25:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is lying of course
2007-03-24 08:25:34 · answer #5 · answered by wongfiehung2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont understand , here is where
2007-03-24 08:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋