strict husband....?

Question

my husband is so strict when it comes to my clothes,i cant wear shorts,skirts,tubes,and sexy dresses outside the house.
he dont want me to put make up,and when i do he will always ask " what for"...he never allow me to go out with my friends especially if there are boys in the group(eventhough he knows everybody) he just wanted me to stay home and its so boring.
he wanted me to spend all my time with him...

one time,he said yes when i told him that i have to attend my bestfriend`s bday i thought its really ok,but he calls every once in a while to check me,and told me to go home early...It`s a party and honestly i really had a good time that day that I almost forgot the time.He called again and I went home,we had a big fight that night...I love him so much,but sometimes i feel like i`m getting bored with my life but not with him...

what am I goin to do? why is he acting like that???
anybody can help me? need advice please...
thanks in advance....

Answer 1

I am sure that I will be the only one who says anything close to this, yet here goes.

Look, in a way, I think your husband is handling this wrongly, but then again he is simply practical in a way and he does have a point. You are his wife and your first loyalty is to him as his is to you. No one will admit that, but think of how many are divorced too because they didnt practice the mate first thing.

A woman is suppose to be aware of how she looks and what she does. She is suppose to make sure that she isnt serving as a temptation to others. This goes for men too by the way. Yeah, we all want to feel that we can tempt others, but then we arent suppose to do so.

Your husband is a man, so he knows how men can be. He also probably can read things like on here and see how many people, men and women, cheat so easily. He is insecure, but insecurity isnt always brought about without some good reasons and some sad experiences too.

Today, women and men have a far different view on things then they used too. And honestly, it isnt necessarily a good thing nor has it served us well in so many ways. Just look at how people are, the things they do, the things that are accepted as okay or normal. Can you honestly say that a person should not be a bit cognizent or even worried at times? Hey, with it being so easy to cheat or do wrong and with so many not seeming to have a problem with it, it can make you wonder. Do you see that?

A boring life can be a blessing. The question is, are you smart enough to realize this? Look, being in a fire or gun fight is exciting, but it also isnt a good thing or good for you. Excitement has caused many ongoing years of pain and regret just as it has given some people great memories.

Like I said, few if any will say anything like this, yet I would ask that you at least think about it. Lastly, I would submit this to you. The more accepting, liberal, politically correct we become, the more relationships you will find your situation happening in. For the more accepting we are and the less moral we are, the more likelyhood people are to do wrong. So people will try to hold tighter to those they love and to what they have.

Answer 2

If possible, I would go out with him and a few common friends both of you know. But be sure there are no flirting type guys in the crowd. Just dress conservative at first until he realizes you arent interested in other guys. It may take some time but he will come around bit by bit. He must be overly worried about other guys hitting on you or overly sensative about your dress habits. I would include him though otherwise his imagination will run wild and he will be calling and checking on you every few minutes. As he learns you are dressing to be in style and not to get guys he should back off the smothering act. hope this gives ya a few ideas

Answer 3

he is jealous and possive and thats a bad thing. and also he is controlling. was he like this before you got married? he is a selfish person and thats not fair. you should be able to dress sexy. just don't over do it when you go out in public. sounds like he has a problen and you need to take control of your life. the reason he controls you is because you let him. you say you love him and thats awesome but if this controlling you continues you will end up hateing him more. so you two need to sit down and have an open talk and you need to tell him how you feel about the way he controls your life. not fair for anyone. when you love someone you will be happy if its true love. good luck

Answer 4

They as you say "strict husband/strict wife" in my mind I think that they have a lot of set rules in their life as a team for couples not allowing them self any space or freedom not to go out side of what ever their boundaries are. It is a chosen life style is how they are raised this mostly happens in wealthy family's. They are restricted to beliefs which all of us have knowledge of and have learned through out our life's, most any way. I call martial guide lines which is fine as long as it does not make each other confined and unhappy to each other and the people that surround us, make others unhappy to be around them . The couple that are married must have a very routine and disciplined life style on an every day basic. Like waking up at seven o'clock having coffee then they always go for a short walk early in the morning. discipline actions seven days a week never missing a morning. Theses couples may be very religious members of the church and organizations within the community they attend to be possible leaders in the community. They find control fulfilling which makes them happy.Great if it works for each other but on the other hand. I have seen a lot of this life style while I grew up.They are usually business owner and corporate leaders, doctors family's,and royalty like princess Diana which she married into this sort of life style.They are the kind of snobby type person and is never late for any thing, and are very judgment all, and a have to say I seen a lot of the bully which they again has that so call power trip which get them through life, and helps persuade persons of low standards to get their way to what they want rom others. Some times its rude of a person to just drop by and you must give notice or have to make a appointment just to drop by to visit. Disciplinary actions of that life style would include no smoking,drinking, dancing, and that is just to name a few. Mostly the people I have know in my life that are this way are very boring to me is, and then seems that they are miserable most of the time. People like this are not open minded to what others think or say, its one way only. Strict life style are past down for generations includes raising children many have no sense of humor, money is tight, and possible work alcoholics social seen is more important to them and they worrier more about what others think of them.

Answer 5

If you do not have children RUN...if you do go to therapy at church or to a therapist and see how to handle this man..........I lived it..he is selfish and a control freak and he will never change UNLESS he says OUTLOUD that he has a problem and is the problem and goes to therapy alone and with you and works this out with you and he changes....do everything in your power for the childrens sakes and if he doesn't go....get alimony and or child support and let him have visitation and get away from this jerk!!! He is not making you happy and there are TONS of men who want to and who can...and you have to start liking and or loving yourself more..whatever you did that you are punishing yourself for forgive yourself and move on already..it is in the past and it can't be changed and you can let it go you have that power...........we put up wit these types of men cause we don't think we deserve better...WE DO...I broke free 4 years ago after going back and forth for 10 years with a man like yours but I am finally FREE and HAPPY and so are my sons and it feels wonderful!!

Answer 6

Sit his butt down and tell how things are going to be and that they are going to change, and if he can't trust you when you are out then you need to leave and he needs to go his seperate ways. You have to be happy yourself and allowing someone to control you like that is not fair to you. He has a problem and needs help with it. I hope that he is not physically abusing you, if that is the case, please get out. It won't get any better, and as far as the control issue and telling you what u can and can't do, isn't going to change. Unless you act upon it then it will continue and you will continue to be miserable. Just because you are with someone doesn't mean your life should stop. You have to have a break from eachother, or you both will go crazy.

Answer 7

First of all..he's not going to change anytime soon.
Secondly, he's insecure...which causes him to be controlling and manipulative. That's a form of abuse. And it'll only get worse.
So tell him he better change or you'll need to find someone to be with who can trust you. Perhaps the threat of leaving will at least make him see how his actions are having a negative effect on you.
And don't let him make you think he's doing it out of love. If it were real love he'd trust you and want you to go out & have a good time.

Answer 8

This guy is very possessive, and could even be called insanely jealous. If you don't break free of him, he will continue to control you.
Many women in your situation who begin to fight for some independence wind up getting beaten. These types of guys are notorious for being violent. In order to protect yourself, it would be good to squirrel away as much money as you can and make a short term plan and a long term plan about how to get away. Maybe your parents could help you.
He doesn't love you - he only wants to own you.

Answer 9

Sounds more like he's trying to be your father instead of your husband.
Marriage is about equal ground. It sounds like he's a control freak, and unless that's something you are willing to live with - get out of it while you can.
Talk to him about it.
If he can't accept you as an equal - it's not worth staying married, things will continue to get worse and sometimes from there it turns into abuse.
You're human, you need to be treated as such, NOT as a possession or a child.

Answer 10

Have a heart-to-heart talk with him about your feelings. Assure him of your love and faithfulness and that he need not be jealous or afraid for you. Take up some job, school, sport or other outdoors to engage you while he is not around. Ask to join him in his socialisation. Generally make him see how boring life has been so far. Best of luck