Ok, I'm gay, I have a friend that means a lot to me, now he's been living with me, we're like best friends, everything was going great with us until about a week ago when he met a girl and she's totally into him and "kinda" vice-versa, I asked him what's going on and because of the fact that he has 2 kids, he considers himself bisexual... and I realllllly don't know what to do or how to react with this whole new situation... he knows i'm against it and his "girl" is starting to dislike me because of it... Help! What to do?
2007-03-24 00:25:31 · 7 answers · asked by Fabricio A 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Here are some good publications / books which could help you. They are are related to gay relationships / partnerships.
Relationships
Berger, R. M. (1990). Men together: Understanding the gay couple. Journal of Homosexuality, 19, 31-49.
Berzon, B. V. (1988). Permanent partners: Building gay and lesbian relationships that last. New York: Dutton.
Blumstein, P. & Schwartz, P. (1983). American couples: Money, work, sex. New York: Morrow.
Buxton, A. (1994). The other side of the closet: The coming out crisis for straight spouses and families. New York: Wiley.
Driggs, J. H., & Finn, S. E. (1990). Intimacy between men: How to find and keep gay love relationships. New York: Plume
2007-03-24 00:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
Hey... Anything any of us can say to you here is not really going to provide any real answer to you in this situation.
Bottom line... This situation is about YOU, and about YOUR emotions - mostly the painful ones, which have a tendency to dominate ones thoughts and feelings: jealousy, abandonment, rejection, betrayal, insecurity, etc.
But... Trying to control your friend's feelings and choices, based upon whatever YOU may feel at any given moment, is not really an option.
The only way your friend would have the freedom to CHOOSE you as his lover - >>> - Is if you allow your friend the freedom to choose some other person, as well.
Trying to use your emotions to manipulate and control his "love" would only result in you "taking captive" an angry and resentful "hostage".
If he doesn't have the freedom of choice to "leave" - then neither does he have the freedom of choice to "stay".
Try to get a grip. Make provisions to soothe your OWN pain - apart from "using" your friend as the solution to your problem. Show your friend the emotionally stable and secure side of yourself. Be supportive toward him and his choices. Then he will see a "YOU" that he could love.
2007-03-24 08:30:19 · answer #2 · answered by J Andy A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you and your friend having sex too? Sounds like there is an attachment that goes beyond just friendship. If you are gay and he is bi, and he found someone, anyone, you should be happy for him. Now if you considered it to be you and him, and more than friends, you could be jealous. If you are just friends, be happy for him. Otherwise you will lose your friend. You can't help who you are, and neither can he.
2007-03-24 07:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
seriously, i'd let ur fren do wat he think feels right. since as u say he's bisexual, n this gal is so into him, i dun really c a prob, unless tis gal is a total ***** or sth. but if u were to b against this gal juz becoz it's for ur own self, i guess, i know u feel insecure, but if ur fren's ur true blue fren as well, he wun leave u alone. so dun worry about tat, just believe in urself, n ur fren.
2007-03-24 07:48:47 · answer #4 · answered by kai 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Are you and this friend dating..? If not then I think he can really date whom ever he likes. Male or Female. It really is up to him
Welcome the girl in and become her friend.
2007-03-24 07:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let him live his life. If you're really his friend don't interfere.
2007-03-24 07:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like jealousy!!! be careful, she may take him away from you (even for a while)
2007-03-24 08:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋