i husband came home 3 weeks ago and said he hasn't loved me for 2 years ,told me their was signs,closed our joint accounts ,sold our car ,house went up for sale,likes a 23 year whom he hasn't known for long, wants a divorce, left me with the kids and $800 in the bank, this all took place in 5 days days.....what do i do now...go after him or leave him....i am still in shock
2007-03-24 00:10:41 · 8 answers · asked by lostinspace 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would suggest an attorney. So sorry, but what else can I say. Do not run after him. Take one day at a time.
2007-03-24 00:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, before you do anything get the very best family/divorce attorney in your area, even if you have to borrow money or take out a loan. Depending on the outcome, you will need to protect yourself and the kids. Also, he said there were signs, so did you ignore them? HONESTLY....many men are neglected in their marriages because the wife just doesn't think a man's feelings are that important. If you really want to fight for him back, read Dr. Laura's Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and see if some of the stuff in there doesn't sound familiar for your situation. But like the first answerer said, he's pretty much already left, but I believe if you have been ignoring the signs, this might very well by his last big SIGN. or not, it could be too late, but if you've been ignoring the signs all along, you could just take the same route now, and give up before you try.
2007-03-24 07:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Things to do:
a) Get an attorney ASAP as there are legal issues needing resolution NOW.
b) The primary issue right now seems to be financial-- solve this one immediately, otherwise you're looking at also losing your home and other critical things for survival. Take care of you and your children-- #1
c) He's gone, so you can't leave him-- whatever you do, don't chase him
d) look carefully, very carefully, at your role in this process as typically the left spouse is in such deep pain and stunned that they're unable to recognize their contribution to the problem. Each partner is 100% responsible for the marriage- not 50%, and it's when 50% is done that problems begin.
e) come up with a 2-3 point plan of your next financial, emotional and stabilizing move- follow this plan as it will keep you from making stupid decisions due to your emotional state. Make no life decisions at this point- wait 3-6 months minimum, as they can have devastating effects.
f) Find emotional support quickly-- your own sanity is critical if you're to parent effectively and be loving with them.
So, so sorry-- good luck!
2007-03-24 07:40:37 · answer #3 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go after him with a lawyer and get your share from the car sale, more from the account that you shared and block the sale of the house for you and the kids and let him pay you handsomely for the divorce. While you are doing the above, start planning how you and your kids intend to live and go for it. Be strong.
2007-03-24 07:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by Hilary R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not go after him at all .... Stay where you are at and let him go if he does not want you or this marriage anymore. How old is he if i may ask? I think you should ask him why he wants a divorce and out of this marriage after all this time. Why has he not loved you for two years? You need answers. take that $800.00 and hold onto it and take it out of the bank now before he can clear it out and take it from you. Also get a good attorney and go after him for child support and alimony. This seems really drastic and sudden to me. If i were you ... since he is going to be with another woman you should at least file for divorce and see where things go from there. My heart goes out to you and the kids and here comes lots of hugs from me to you.
2007-03-24 08:27:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's pretty evident that he has planned this out carefully for quite some time. You can't get all that done in 5 days without extreme planning involved. He has already made the choice for you. File for divorce and find yourself a new life free of him.
2007-03-24 08:51:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
get on with your life, he has. anyway when his 23 yr old is not doing all the things you have over the years he'll realize what a mistake he has made, but if yiu are smart you will not take him back. when he is done playing she will be still at it. and what goes around comes around. he'll get his and you will b the one he comes crying too.
2007-03-24 07:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by clubchaos1965 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has already left you physically, emotionally, financially.......
the decision has already been made.
i am sorry for your loss though. You will survive.
2007-03-24 07:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋