I need help. I'm a 16 year old girl who has never done anything to make my parents distrust me. But they still do! I'm hardly allowed to see my friends on weekends, I'm just supposed to study even if theres no work to be done. I have a recent secret boyfriend who i want to tell my parents about. But I'm scared that if I do they'll freak, disallow me from seeing him and completely ground me. What should I do??? I'm so confused...
2007-03-24 00:07:32 · 10 answers · asked by Gabi . 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Wow. I've been in the same situation for almost two years now. My girlfriend used to be secret, but I know they suspect something out of the phone calls and such. I didn't officially tell them that she's my girlfriend. I let them figure out it on their own. When they ask me about her i respond, "She's my friend, mom." If my mom walks in on me and catches me talking to her on the phone, I quickly change the subject to homework. "Uh.. what did you get for problem #9?" When I tell them that I'm doing my homework, they can't argue because I can say, "If you don't let me do my homework with a friend, then I might get a bad grade, mom." They might ask, "Well why can't you do it with someone else?" I say, "That's because nobody else in my class wants to do the homework."
My parents expect me to study all the time, even though I get straight A's. I'm not the studying type, if you ask me. I like to cram to the last minute, so they hardly see me studying. When they do, I'd be studying with my girlfriend.
If this doesn't work, then my suggestion for you is to sit down and have a talk with one of your parents. Pick the parent that is more sympathetic.
2007-03-24 03:13:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could sit down and explain that times are changing and you feel trapped and are starting to resent them for this. Start off slowly with the odd day here and there and build your trust up with them. Always remember they love you and they think they are protecting you from the world. The world is a scary place now and any poarent of a 16 year old girl is protective i don't think it is because you are indian, however be wise and safe and show you are a mature young lady.
2007-03-24 02:03:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had strict parents when i was growing up, nothing i did help the situation. i had no choice but to wait it out till i was 18. i did things behind their backs, but now i look back and realize how dangerous that was. i put my life at stake by sneaking out of the house at midnight and walking the streets with friends. i could of been raped or taken advantage of by an older man (which did happen).
when i was 14 i got into a car with a man i did not know. the car pulled over and it looked like my cousin so i got in. it wasn't until i shut my door that i realized my mistake, thankfully i was okay. the guy was feeling up on my legs and i didn't know what to do.
their is danger out there.
2007-03-24 03:41:26 · answer #3 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Negotiate!!! Sit down and talk to your parents - explain how you feel. Suggest a compromise - you agree to sitting down and do all your homework and an hour or whatever revision as soon as you get home then they agree to letting you go out. Another great trick is if they let you stay out until say 8pm or whatever, always come home at 7.30 so that then when you want to stay out until 10 or 11pm for a party then they have less grounds to say no as you can say "but I've always come home before i had to before" it will help build trust! hope this helps, yours, Kim x
2007-03-24 01:24:56 · answer #4 · answered by Alex Taylor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is not what you want to hear but, as long as you live under the roof of their home you have to abide by their rules, they truly do want the best for you and are trying to protect you even though it is annoying to you, just keep in mind that they love you.Get yourself a job if they will let you and save your money then move out when you are 18 then you can do what you want to.
2007-03-24 03:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have a secret boyfriend. Those things are hard to keep secret and they will come down hard on you when they find out. They distrust you and you say they have not reason to - yet you have a secret boyfriend. I'd say they have a reason to distrust you!
2007-03-27 06:16:11 · answer #6 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure that your parents know you are a responsible girl
do things for them when they ask and all that jazz
i know it will take some time but in the end you can tell them about your boyfriend and hopefully they won't freak out tell them about how responsible you have been lately and ask them if they can just meet him if they say yes then make a script of what he should say and go over it with him make sure he knows what to mention and what not to mention
if you need any support just email me at cupcakedudeyo@yahoo.com
2007-03-24 03:09:39 · answer #7 · answered by Em 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
see i am also an Indian
but in India parents want that their student can stand themselves
so first make ur career and then see ur b.f.
2007-03-24 00:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
do something that will make them trust you more... like take some harder responsibilities in your family or show them high grades... prove to them that you are capable of doing things... and that they can trust you to do good always...
2007-03-24 00:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you just have to talk to them a tell them how you truly feel! Don't blow up, but tell them I a calm way how you feel. It's tried and true! Remember, don't blow up!
2007-03-24 02:37:39 · answer #10 · answered by Gamer Fun 5 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋