long story shorter my husband of 6yrs left 3 months ago deniying an affair and telling me we can work things out me only to discover he was and still sleeping with someone else all good and well i got over it and have moved on loving life just with my kids now i changed numbers and he got pissed saying he wanted my numbers for the kids but kids have own numbers, he seen kids and went through their mobile to get my numbers and started msg me does not ring kids just me to abuse me then play nice and want to know what im doing he tells his family he loves me and im everything to him but just treats me like **** why does he need my number want to know what im doing and all of a sudden trying to be nice to me but still not being a supportive father???? whats going on please if you think you know what he is feeling or thinking please tell me
2007-03-23 23:58:21 · 9 answers · asked by feelingstupid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry about the writing and if it sounds all mixed up only had 3hrs sleep in 48hrs 3 kids 1 sick and doing exams been extremley busy week sorry again
2007-03-24 00:58:02 · update #1
First, I'm sorry you have to experience this.
Second, he has demonstrated that he is a liar, so watch his actions, not his words, they will tell on him everytime.
Third, set some boundaries. Tell him if the messages continue, that you will seek a restraining order, set up the terms for his contact with his children. But if there are more than ZERO messages or calls to you that have any non-child related content, even so much as "how are you doing?" will be treated as harassment.
Fourth, if you've moved on, then stop worrying about what he is feeling or thinking. Just watch his actions. You will never totally figure out what's going on in his head and heart. His words will lie, watch what he does, that is what demonstrates the truth.
2007-03-24 01:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Things to do and think about:
1) ignore his text message completely-- never, never respond and he'll tire within weeks. If you do need to respond, set extremely strict boundaries and never deviate from them
2) look carefully at your part in this-- most relation shops have two problem partners, not just one. Learn quickly from this experience
3) strange way to show love on his part-- he may love you, but other manipulative needs seem to be overriding it now
4) not sure a restraining order can be had given that no threats have been given... but something to consider-- keeps tabs on everything he's said and done, especially a log of sorts as it may become handy in court or if a restraining order is sought
5) finally, he had an affair, lied about it, wants to reconnect and yet keep her--- he doesn't deserve you. Regardless of the logistics, he can't return.
6) Get an attorney ASAP-- you have responsibilities that he needs to be a part of, regardless of the situation
2007-03-24 00:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm very sorry for your situation. 3 kids, exams. Listen the guy's a jerk for cheating on you. He wants to know what you're up to b/c he trying to control the situation and see that you won't b happy w/o him. Just continue as you are which is ignoring him. And if the messages are harassing or profane. You can get the judge on him very quickly. Courts do no like harassment between people. I'm telling you the best thing you can do for yourself is continue on w/your life and forget him. That will make him more upset that he blew it. I wish you well. Sounds like you're coping quite nicely.
2007-03-24 01:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call your attorney and keep a log of everything your husband does. You should get a restraining order and file at least for a legal seperation and child support.
2007-03-24 02:18:31 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run on incoherent blah, blah, blah. - Maybe a woman could answer this, but, all you did here was just ramble in one long senseless blurp.
Sorry!
2007-03-24 00:21:18 · answer #5 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a man's advice. You need a deadbeat fathers advice. He'll be able to tell you. I have no idea.
2007-03-24 00:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need a womens advice
2007-03-24 00:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your diatribe is unclear and poor worded. Perhaps this is why you are in the situation now?
2007-03-24 01:39:04 · answer #8 · answered by Brian J. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He wants control, like having your cake and eating it too, don't let him make you into his puppet,
2007-03-24 00:36:31 · answer #9 · answered by Uncle B2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋