My boyfriend has pulled away from me, he's become distant with me due to work stress. He works full-time and during his free time during evenings, he looks for a new job. He has had few interviews, some near my city but he has not been accepted anywhere yet. He's still waiting for some answers. He is unhappy with his current job and hates it. he said hes not feeling good now. Last month I became very needy of him, which made him upset. I then realised that it makes things works talking about the relationship and blaming him he does not care. I am worrying about this and I am sad worrying that he is loosing interest in our relationship as he has not been attentive and I don't hear from him much? I am happy as he texted me a couple of days ago but today I asked him if we could meet up as we live an hour away from each other. He said that weekend he goes home to see his family. I asked him about the weekend after and he replied with " I don't know, we will see". What can I do?
2007-03-23 23:42:43 · 8 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like he just wants to do his own thing. If he is stressed maybe you are making it worse by being clingy which in turn is making him want to see less of you.
I know it's hard but i would test him and just say 'have a good weekend and ring me when you have the time ;
Then I would make plans for yourself. Don't wait in moping hun
2007-03-23 23:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I see it, he is connecting you with the old life he is trying to change. Instead of asking for his attention, ask how you can help him Explane how you feel. Don't blame him. Ask if you could go with him to visit his family. Try to find ways to lighten his load. Maybe offer to help look for new job opportunities. , or schooling. Cook him some comfort foods, soups, breads. Just be there for him..with NO demands. Explane how you feel, not your needs or wants. Good luck, you are on very shaky ground through no fault of your own. When and if he gets his life headed in the right direction, he may then look back and see that he almost rid his life one too many things...but this wont happen if you cause any extra stress, you may even have to offer to step away from him just to help him...this offer may actually help your cause in the long run as it will show him just how much you care for him. IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE, THEN IT WILL BE. iF IT NEVER WAS ( EVEN i DONT BELIEVE THAT)then it never will be. . So to recap> cause no stress for him, offer help (even if he says 'no' do what you can do , without expecting big thank or being paid back) and let him see that you are ready to sacrifice your own needs to help him.. You both have to realize that happiness is not the prize at the of your life journey. Happiness is all in ones mind. It requires the ability to enjoy just what you have now. When you change the way you think about thing, the things you think about change. Try reading Dr Wayne Dyer, he has wonder full self help books, It is like Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz, " You aren't oing to find peace of mind looking down that road, you will find it only within your own heart and mind" (not an exact quote, but you get the idea I hope) Your answer and his are right there inside of you already, you only need to change the way you look to find them.
2007-03-24 08:03:56 · answer #2 · answered by territizzyb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. Often when we have so much stress, it seems to affect everything in our lives too, including relationships, friendships etc etc, and has a tendency to make people either sink into depression or go totally rebelious against the world as a form of release. It sounds as though there is so much going off and he is dragging you down with his unhappiness. Now ask yourself this..........do you want to be part of his unhappiness, do you want to be dragged down with him.????........or do you want to live your life as you think you deserve.....happy, carefree and with a knowing that someday someone will come along and sweep you off your feet?. You need to have a long think about what you need. Ok, so maybe you love this guy so much, but what has he got to give you?....not what you need by the sounds of it hun. I am sorry to say that it doesn't sound good, and often people are to weak in the mind to face up to thier problems and would sooner run away from it, basically the easy way out. Hold your head up high, tell him your needs and what support you will to give him, and if he is still being distant with you, then move on, before you get really hurt. I would say the balls in your court hun, think of you and move forward, but don't look back as there are too many obstacles to fall over. Good luck hun. x
2007-03-24 07:04:09 · answer #3 · answered by Solista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From his perspective, you are just adding more pressure to an already difficult life- he needs your support, not more grief! If you want to stay with him, you need to show him how you make his life better by being in it, rather than draining him of emotional energy. Maybe if you can't do that, offer him the chance to withdraw by telling him that you want a break to give you both a chance to sort yourselves out. His response should give you an indication as to whether your relationship has anything left worth keeping. Don't get me wrong- I'm not saying your needs don't matter- but if you can't put his first when he's having a tough time then maybe you should be with a different type of guy. Good luck.
2007-03-24 06:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by annie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is obviously a workaholic and all the stress he is enduring is not conducive to any relationship. If you really care about him, I feel you're going to have to wait for him until things change or he decides he can't live without you. Remember in any relationship, the question is not "Can I spend the rest of my life with him?" but "Can I spend the rest of my life without him?". If the answer is yes to the first, you're best to extract yourself from this situation and look to the future elsewhere. Good luck
2007-03-24 07:03:59 · answer #5 · answered by Netty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the message, that's what you can do. I don't mean to sound cold but if he wanted to be with you he'd find the time no matter what. You should get on with your life and stop waiting around for him. Give your love to someone who deserves it. x
2007-03-24 06:54:14 · answer #6 · answered by chickadee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't the only "pebble on the beach". Let him go and look elsewhere.
2007-03-24 06:50:24 · answer #7 · answered by deacon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
---seems you;ve given him plenty oppertunities to get togeather with you ---he doesn;t seem to be interested----let him go----if he cares he;ll come looking for you-----if he doesn;t then carry on with your life------good luck----
2007-03-24 06:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by mike h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋