We've been married for about 6 months now, were in the process of getting her naturalized so things are very stressfull for the both of us. shes moved out here away from her family and everyone she grew up with. She is in the process of looking for a job and gets stressed out when she is filling out applications I try to lighten the mood and make her smile by making a joke and usualy I end up doing the opposite and she stops talking to me for a while usualy atleast a day. I love this woman so much and want so much to make her happy and see her smile. The time in question she was filling out an app, I was helping her go over her duties for a previous job and when we got to the end of her duties I added "and then rince and repeat" and that for some reason set her off, after that she said I was making fun of her and now she won't even let me in the same room as her. I feel realy uncomfortable about asking a web community for advise but im not really sure what to do at this point.
2007-03-23 23:25:50 · 11 answers · asked by anonymous 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is only 6 months in this country and you are already expecting her to work?! What the h*ell is wrong with you/ She needs AT LEAST two (2) years of the adjustment period to get her head straight in this new for her environment. At least five (5) years will pass before she finally starts feeling little bit better about her new life.
I am in this country for 10 years now and I am STILL adjusting. The first 5 years were hell, pure hell, from an emotional standpoint of being away from home; and this is considering that I did not have to work at all (my ex-husband was earning very high income).
I can only imagine what she is going through having to fill out job applications on ther 6th month of being here! Mother F****** G@@!!!
2007-03-23 23:59:42 · answer #1 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off until you realize this.... YOU CANT' MAKE HER HAPPY! She has to make herself happy first what ever happiness you provide is just an added bonus. Maybe she is lonely bc she moved away from her family and friends. That can be a difficult thing to do. But she also has to remember that she made that choice when she married you.
Get her to a counseler, that might help. I would say she is depressed and not stressed. Maybe when she finds a job, she will lighten up and be a better person. Have you tried sitting down and talking to her to see what is really going on with her? Maybe she needs a cpl of days by herself to go home and visit.
2007-03-24 08:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is not good. I don't know the background on the situation but you must talk with her. There is something on her mind that she is not telling you. She feels lonely. She is not literally but when she is with family forever and then that changes she feels alone because she is not used to the something new in her life. You have to ask her to work with you. Make sure she know that she can say anything to you. Her feelings. Let her know that you are her husband. Husband and wife are suppose to communicate. That is what makes love work. You and her must work together for love. She can't hide from you this is only going to make confrontation. Make sure she know that you love her and that you are never going to leave. Also you may want to think about meeting her half way on everything. This will allow her to fell in some what control. That help women. Believe me! Good luck honey and know that the person you love can be there forever as long as you remember the love you had with person when you first got married!
2007-03-24 06:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by fxysxysrkly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you just try to be supportive instead of making jokes about something she finds stressful then that will help. Women are funny. I love my husband very much but nothing makes me more upset than him making jokes when I am stressed out or having to be serious. I think it is good to try and lighten the mood but there is a time and place. Good Luck.
2007-03-24 06:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by grachpsmm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pl z don't get upset try to understand her because she is new to your family and she might adjust many more with household work as well as a job thats why she express her anger to her more loved ones because she cant express her anger to anybody else. time will solve your problem just wait and have patience.
A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.
As expected she gave a speech:
My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, With my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences - my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine."
"What do you mean my child?" asked the patriarch of the family "What I mean dad is: Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked shouldn't stop at my account. Those who used to clean should clean. As for me, I'm here just to entertain your son!"
2007-03-24 06:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by heybapi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can fill out an application without your help. Don't treat her like an idiot. That rinse and repeat comment is a bit condescending. Maybe she doesn't want to have to work and has some anger about it.
2007-03-24 06:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by Law 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's a bia, you got your hands full. Shes probably just being who she really was all along. People sometimes hide there true nature until they think it's ok to unleash it. Marriage would be a good time to do it. Now that she has you locked down.
2007-03-24 07:07:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not mad of u but she is feeling very uneasy and unconfortable of not having any job presently and that mental tension would make her angry and shouts on u for no reason... thats it but nothing else.... the simple way to make her laugh and see happiness in her is to have a nice job for her.... find it or put a nice business. so that she can pass time in job and can find a beautiful smile on her face and will feel very happy with u of togetherness......
2007-03-24 06:37:53 · answer #8 · answered by bala krishna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that she can stay home and take care of the house, less stress....but if she is lazy, this wont work
2007-03-24 06:33:10 · answer #9 · answered by David S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's a mean lady leave her. Can't stand crappy woman
2007-03-24 06:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋