My fiancee is a mother to a 3 yr old from her past boyfriend and I love her more than my life. I want to spend the rest of my days with them. And I want to share evertyhing i have with them. I only have 1 question to ask myself, that i need to accept the fact that somewhere in time past will somehow try to hunt and hurt us. How would i be able to forgive her past BF and accept her past relationship? Upto now I just want to hunt and gut that guy. And please dont tell me that "if i love her I need to accept everything about her", it is true buy its easier said than done.
2007-03-23 22:11:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you have these nagging questions to yourself, you need to re-define what do you mean by "i love her more than my life & want to spend the rest of my days with them" bcuz you aren't ready to do these for them. you are standing aptly to your words "easier said than done".
moving on and taking along the excess baggages of the past will not bring you anywhere better than yesterday. it will only spoil whatever happiness you may have now. If you truly want to spend the rest of your life with them happily, look into "now" and do something good at it rather than focusing on matters that hinders your full happiness with the people you said you love more than your life. its true that gettin over something we really hate takes a lot of coping up but see more on whats important now. You have each other. He didnt have her, whatmore can you ask? Keeping her lies on how you deal with your self first, not her past. She has moved on from a bitter experience(i supposed so), give her a chance to live & enjoy life at its best- this time with you.
2007-03-23 22:25:13 · answer #1 · answered by jables 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might not want to hear this but most people have a past. You need to accept. If he was an @ss or something like that your best bet is show how much better off she is with you. You probably knew she had a past, she didn't just pop the daughter out of no where on you. If you live in the past you can have no future.
2007-03-24 05:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by mundo808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were really loved her as much as you say (or think you do) and you were secure about yourself these would not be an issue. Just in your one question you asked if their was one hint of truth in any of your statement IF you decide to go on with this marriage don't start a retirement fund start a divorce fund you will need it in less then 5 years that where you are heading and not just with this women BUT every women until you learn that their past is exactly that THE PAST!!
2007-03-24 05:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by ThePleasurePlayground.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think it may be a poor time to start considering or worrying about this now?
Look, you simply have to be realistic that what you fear may happen. And just why do you think someone will try to hurt you? Do you have any logical basis or past experience that says this is likely?
And yes, you do have to accept them. They had a life before you came along as you did before they came along. If you cant accept this, you need to stop right now, not carry on and hope it gets better.
Has it crossed your mind that you may be getting cold feet or that maybe you really have no business getting married to this women?
2007-03-24 07:11:24 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ken everyone has a past, her past has nothing to do with you. She came into your life just accept that from that day, what has happened previously shouldnt matter. If you love her then make things work otherwise there will be someone else to show her real love.
2007-03-24 05:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by wana help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy is not involved in his daughter's life, then you be a dad to her. Do everything with her that a dad would do. If he is in her life, be a good father figure to her. Be sociable to the father, never, EVER put him down in front of the kid. If you love your fiancee and you love her daughter, then it should be easy. If you let her former boyfriend get to you, this relationship is doomed.
2007-03-24 09:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by sassynsweet1221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to realize shes with you now and obviously doesnt watnt to be with him because they arent together anymore. Why would you need to forgive him? he didnt do anything to you. Why would the past "hunt and hurt" you? Hurting her ex wont make any situation any better.
2007-03-24 05:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by nightbutterfly69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a new marriage is a new life, talk about it once, get everything out in the open that bothers you, then dont bring it up again. Her daughter is part of her... they come as a set.. If you are having problems still, get counseling, if you still cant come to terms , do not marry her... all three of you will be miserable
2007-03-24 05:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lorrie J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your relationship with your girlfriend is so much in love relationship it all comes in with all package.Check yourself if you think that her past could interfere with your thoughts or trusts with her. We all have pasts so its almost impossible to find someone without a past.Make sure of what your doing with your fiance and your life and especially that of that little child.
2007-03-24 05:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by gloria m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a difficult situation , but it is also unfair because she can not change the past. Only you can accept it with open arms or let her go to someone who can.
2007-03-24 05:15:43 · answer #10 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋