Hi , I am 24 yrs old female and have no one other that my mom i this world. I feel very upset these days for no reason. I cannot even dream or think postive about myself and i do not think anything can make me happy.I feel myself to be very lonely. I have a job as an HR Executive in a pvt software company but i do not see any stability in my carrer. I am not able to trust myself or anyone these days.
It is very hard to see my mom struggle to get me married as i am not good looking and it is impossible to get me married. I feel miserable about my life. I cannot discuss this with anyone whom i know because i know they will make fun of me. I am sometimes very scared to think that how i will be when i have to lead my life all alone without anyone with me. I want u to pls let me know the ways how i can come out of this fear of living alone and give some confidence before i loose it completely. Pls fo not make fun of my question
2007-03-23 22:08:38 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
remember that things always change. your life at this time may be lonely and you don't see any change in the future, but it does change and it won't stay the same. you never know, so keep an open mind and an open heart.
second, you can be pro-active about changing your social status by taking some risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. if you are not the one being asked to do things with others then be the one to ask others to do things with you. ( i know not fun, but you might be suprised at how receptive some people will be). don't put the pressure of a date on yourself, but rather going out and hanging out, having coffee, a drink after work, see a movie, go to the mall together, visit local attractions. most long term relationships began as friendships.
third, don't dwell on yourself and how "good looking" you are. most everybody has things about themselves that they don't like, accept your shortcomings, find your strengths, and build some self confidence. some of the best looking people that i have met were the worst humans i've met, whereas some of the "plainer" people were just so much more human and deeper. People better have a whole lot more to offer than their looks. Those that don't see that (and there are many) are people that you really don't need in your life.
fourth, your attitude towards life shows in the way you carry yourself and others pick up on that vibe. So concentrate on the good in your life, the positives ( loving mother, good job, health, are blessings that a lot of people take for granted but there are many people without those blessings, and I', sure that you could find other positives in yourself and your life) and your whole attitude will begin to change. don't sit around hoping for your knight in shining armor to come to your rescue, live your life and in your travels you will meet others, some for fleeting moments, others will become more serious friends. find interests and then find others with the same interests. most people meet other people thru, family, friends, job, church.
sorry, long answer but i felt like you needed a long answer. good luck, think positive, be grateful for the good in your life
2007-03-23 22:47:16 · answer #1 · answered by onlinedreamer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How could anyone possibly make fun of you. You are projecting this lonely horrible life rather than understanding how young you and that you have your whole life ahead of you. Years ago I found myself angry at work and very argumentative to my boss. I felt totally unappreciated. It turned out I had clinical depression. I started taking anti-depressant medication. The world is full of mostly average looking people. You don't need a 10. Take a course in how to improve your looks so you have more confidence. I was so-called beautiful and had two very unhappy marriages. Good looks are like frosting on the cake, but in no way guarantee happiness or success. Look at couples shopping in the mall or in restaurants and you will see more plain people than attractive. Marilyn Monroe was considered the sexiest woman in the world at the time of her death. Yet she died alone on a Saturday night. Find a good therapist too (one you can relate to) and he/she can help you get in touch with your strong positive self. Make a good life for yourself. And remember, when we are old we can't tell the uglies from the beauties. I am 71. God bless you dear.
2007-03-24 05:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by NeNe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Maybe you could take a first step by cutting yourself some slack and realizing that a lot of the problem is that you are internalizing all of this and your thinking about it all the time only makes it worse. You said that you don't think that you are beautiful. Try to look at it this way...whenever I feel like life is being really tough on me and that I have it so hard, I always try to remember that there are people out there that have had it much worse than i ever have and have made more of their life than i have. I'm sure you are a lot more beautiful than you think. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what one might think is ugly is truly and completely beautiful in another's eyes. Like i said before, don't be so tough on yourself. Look at life as being one big comedy. If we can laugh at it then it really wasn't that bad to begin with. When i ram my knee into the kitchen table by accident i burst out in a half laugh-half cry, why is that? Laughter seems to make the pain not as painful.
p.s...you also have something that many people don't have...the gift of youth.There are a lot of people that are envious of you. Use it to make your life more full of joy.
2007-03-24 08:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by RockstarR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear. You have to love yourself. Work on your self-esteem. Read self-help books on raising self-esteem, thinking positive & building your confidence. You are a beautiful person. You can have anything you want just believe in yourself. Once you love yourself & feel good about yourself it will be easier for you to meet new people, make friends, maybe even fall in love. When you start to love yourself & feel more confident, you will attract the right person. Don't be so obsessed with getting married. Just do things that you enjoy & be happy with yourself then perhaps you'll meet someone with the same interests & take it from there.
Good luck. You can learn to think positive. I used to be very negative & have low self-esteem but I'm learning to change & good things are happening as a result.
You are not alone! There are many people who feel like you.
Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself.
2007-03-24 05:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by amp 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mom's are a blessing aren't they! When ever I feel kind blah or blue, I remember that Jesus is here for me. Sounds like you have a really great job! Mom's should fuss so much about getting their kids married. You are beautifully perfect for the one man who is out there for you, the one meant to be your companion. When I was struggling with that issue of having no one in my life, Jesus introduced me to my husband. I don't know how it did it, but we are a perfect match! Your young, your successful take a deep look into your soul, try to find Jesus there. He has all the comforting answers :)
2007-03-24 05:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by rezany 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who does make fun should be ashamed of themselves. It is hard for such a young person to have such a weight like this on their shoulders. Mothers do not mean to be so overbearing we just have a tendency to want what is best for our children. She probably recognizes a loneliness in you and wishes for you to be happy. As far as all the other strenuous issues in your life it does not hurt to seek counseling for these issues. You really should rely on the guidance of a professional to help you bring out the best in you and help you bring yourself out of the slump you are in. I really do hope that you find peace and happiness soon. You are so young and you have so much ahead of you.
2007-03-24 05:24:09 · answer #6 · answered by stitch 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is Be Your self. Don't try to impress other people or try to make them like you. It just doesn't work. I know I've tried that for years.. If people can't accept you for who you are then you don't need them...There is someone out there for you. Patience is the key...
2007-03-24 05:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try kumpul kebo for few years then decide to merried for someone elses
2007-03-24 05:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋