Can you pls help me to come out of this ?

Question

Hi , I am 24 yrs old female and have no one other that my mom i this world. I feel very upset these days for no reason. I cannot even dream or think postive about myself and i do not think anything can make me happy.I feel myself to be very lonely. I have a job as an HR Executive in a pvt software company but i do not see any stability in my carrer. I am not able to trust myself or anyone these days.
It is very hard to see my mom struggle to get me married as i am not good looking and it is impossible to get me married. I feel miserable about my life. I cannot discuss this with anyone whom i know because i know they will make fun of me. I am sometimes very scared to think that how i will be when i have to lead my life all alone without anyone with me. I want u to pls let me know the ways how i can come out of this fear of living alone and give some confidence before i loose it completely. Pls fo not make fun of my question

Answer 1

Tell your Mom it hurts you to see her hurt about being unsuccessful in making you and another man a couple. Let her know it isn't her fault. I'm not saying it is yours, it is neither. It is on who ever is missing out on not knowing you. Making other people happy makes me happy, because I feel like that a lot too. Do that for your Mom and others.

Don't say you are unattractive because every single person on this earth finds different kinds of people cute, handsome, pretty etc.. You don't know what others think of you.

You didn't explain how your career is unstable but all I can say is to try your best to do your job.

Do you know anyone at your work? Maybe you could start to know them outside of work as well, not just one person but join or form a little posse you go see movies with, go bowling or to go see a game with.

I'm only 16 though, I don't have all the experience of an adult and the problems they face.

Answer 2

The answer is within you in the same way you prepared yourself for a career as an HR Executive...

You have an education. You have a job and income.

Where do you go from here? What is the next step?

Take one day at a time and don't worry about tomorrow right now.

Start a personal plan book.
What are your hopes and dreams? really. Write them down so they seem real to you. Where do you want to be and what do you hope to do. You must trust yourself with hopes and dreams when you're awake.

Make a 'written' list of your goals:
career - educational - financial - family - marriage

Organize your thoughts about the future in a journal.
Journaling is considered an effective stress management tool. It may help you deal with some of the negative feelings.

Don't sweat marriage. It's absolutely not impossible.

Do some personal planning - a marketing plan if you will.

Get into career counseling.

Consider furthering your education. Go back to school.

Maybe finishing a degree or an advanced degree.

Re-evaluate your career plan.

Get your resume in order.

Take a vacation if you can - get away from it for a few days.

I can't emphasize enough - take one day at a time.

Answer 3

Hi, I'm so sorry you feel this way, Depression is very common first of all here are some sites with info and treatment options for depression and support groups.
http://www.depression.com/
http://www.depression-helper.com/
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home

It sounds like you have really low self esteem, I'm sure you are a very beautiful girl and you sound very sweet, you just need to be able to see that. About the marriage issue i'm sure any guy would be very lucky to have you but your still really young dont worry about getting married the now just worry about having fun and what you want to do, a relationship the now will not help you, you need to find yourself and learn to love yourself for who you are, ever heard that saying if you don't love yourself how can anyone else. everyone is beautiful in their own unique way, and the most stunning people are'nt the stick thin models who are airbrushed but anyone who is truely confident and happy in who they are. If you are really unhappy by the way you look why not give yourself a mini makeover new clothes, new hairdo, pamper yourself, that is often a confidense boost.

Talking to people about the way you feel will help you maybe your not ready to talk to your mom about the way you feel but you could try tallking to a counsellor or going to a support group or even talkin with people on the net. It wont do you any good bottling it up. If you want someone to talk to you can contact me through this, i suffered depression a while ago so i now how you are feeling.

About your job, Do you not enjoy working there? Is there any other career that you would like to do? If so why not go for it, go in to part time education so you can still work and also get the qualifications you need for whatever job you want to do. There are many part time courses out there. And you could meet new friends doing it. Also do you have any hobbies/things you like to do? Why not join a club make new friends. that might also help to build your confidense.

You said at the beginning you cannot even dream or think positive about yourself well thats what you have to do, you have to give yourself a kick and start thinking positive and about everything you could do, nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough. Be grateful for the things you do have and work from that.

Hope this helps, hope you feel better. And if you would like to talk feel free to contact me through this

Answer 4

I think you need to ask yourself why the thought of living alone scares you so much. Believe me, there are plenty of reasons to be afraid of the idea of living with another person for the rest of your life.

It sounds as though you have a decent job, even though you feel rather insecure about it. Personally, I would focus on strengthening my career (whether at the job you have or elsewhere) so that I could feel confident that I could take care of myself whether or not I hooked up with someone else.

Being alone has great, fantastic advantages. Seriously. And the truth is, plenty of really ugly people find mates--the issue is not your attractiveness. If anything, it's your neediness. There is no reason to be needy. You may WANT someone in your life, but you don't NEED someone in your life. You have to get that straight. Otherwise, you're going to marry just anybody who comes along, and believe me when I tell you that you'd be a heck of a lot better off getting a cat.

Answer 5

You are not alone. There are many many people in this world that feel sad like you do right now.

The very best thing you can do for yourself right now is to see a psychologist because they will understand how you are feeling and want to make you feel better.

Also, you are only 24. There's no rush to settle down or get married. A lot of people who do that at your age end up regretting it because they didn't spend their 20s doing what they want to do.

You have plenty of time, so focus right now on feeling better and then you just might see your situation differently.

I really do hope you feel better soon. Take care.

Answer 6

I did not get married until I was 30 and I felt that I never would. However, I was lucky enough to have many friends and led a very active lifestyle. Naturally, I had times when I longed for a romance, but the busier I was, the less time I had to dwell on it. Eventually, I did find the right girl. Looking back, I consider it a blessing that I had to wait so long, as it seems that everyone that got married young ended up divorced.

Answer 7

First of all: learning to live for your self and on your own takes practise and time. I am 32 and am still learning... It is not so hard to live on your own love, because there are good things too. you never have to adapt to anyone but you, eat, sleep, and work when you want to. Furthermore, the fact that people do not look beyond how you think you look, tells me they are not worth you attention. No matter how someone looks, only certain people cant see past that. if no one has come into your life yet, don't sweat it, someday mister right might just walk into your life anyway. the trick is not to go wait for him. Your mother should realise, marriage is not the main purpose of life. Living and trying to be happy is. Try to think positive of yourself anyway. keep at it and don't give up. it is tough to learn but it will help you in the end. I think you are quite curragious for even posting such a difficult question, so you are doing fine are you not? You think about this, want to change it and you ask what you can do... You can believe in yourself. You are a worhtwile person no matter what anyone else might think. you have a job, and somehow the right people will step into your life too... I have one piece of advice that has greatly helped me to get more people in my life and that is to look towards people you like. If you see someone around you you want to be like... talk to them. Say hi, and see what you can learn from them. If you really need deeper help, try councelling, that will help also if you want to learn more about feelings and how to deal with them. Also, there are a lot of books on self help. Not all perfect, but you might get something out of them you exactly need. I did. Just by reading about not feeling well and how to change that.... I wish you confidence and love in your life. I wish you strength to believe you can be on your own and I wish you the right supportive people around you. trust me, you can do it, you will find them :) ( by the way, I think you are not so ugly as you think....:)

Answer 8

What i have believed all my life is that self conviction is very important. If you are convineced on something yourself you can never make others believe it. Second, why do you underestimate yourself? You are what you make of yourself. If anyone thinks you're not good looking, it is because you feel it yourself and i'm sure it shows when you interact with people. So what you're not good looking. There is something known as carrying oneself properly. Even the prettiest would look ugly if they do't know how to carry themselves.
As for your loneliness, each one of us is alone. Even those who has a lot of friends. In fact, those who have lots of friends are the loneliest of all--- its true. You are not alone. You have your mother. Doesn't she matter to you. What if she wasn't there?
Lady, you need a makeover which no one but you yourself can give. Everyone is special-- show it to the world. Feel it. Its there inside you. Believe and you'll get it.
Good Luck
:)

Answer 9

It would have helped to know what country you are in and / or your background. You are obviously not a native English speaker and by you saying something about your mother getting you married leads me to think you are an Arab Muslim. If so you need to put the word out, maybe people don't realize you want to marry? Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I truly believe there is someone for everyone, you just haven't found him yet. the person who said that try one line, its is a good idea. I have several friends who have met their spouses on line, just be careful

Answer 10

Hey! You needn't be so depressed about your life! Try to see the other side of it! You are young enough to change your lifestyle and behavior! Try to take advantage from every situation you meet. The very thing you need is self-confidence!!! Go shopping, change your make-up, have your hair cut! Those things have changed me a lot. And I advise the same to you! Soon you will find out that you are rather pretty and lovely girl! Go to discos, make friends...and this world will turn out to be wonderful for you! Good luck! And cheer up lady!!!=)))