Have you ever tried to change someone before you married them and did it work?

Answer 1

You can't change ANYONE before or after marriage. If a person is going to change, it has to be their choice...because they choose to make the change. Before we got married, I gave my husband an ultimatum...the drugs and alcohol, or me. He chose me, but went back to the drugs and alcohol later on. I left. If you try to change someone before or after a marriage, it will be a losing fight. If there are things about the person you want to change about them before the marriage, it's time to get out of the relationship. If you want to change the person after you married them, remember that this is the person you married...just the way they are.

Answer 2

Guys always marry the girl exactly for who she is, don't want her to change in any way, and get upset when they do.

Girls marry guys thinking, "yeah, I can change him" and get upset when they can't.

Why would anyone ever buy something that's not what they wanted in the first place? It's like buying a Honda Accord and hoping it'll turn into a Ferrari. While an Accord is a decent car that anyone would be proud to own, you can do all the custom work money can buy and very well make it *look* like a Ferrari in the end, but underneath it will always be a Honda.

Women of the world - just stop it

Answer 3

No. You have to accept the person for what they are. You can't go into a Chinese restaurant and complain that they don't serve burgers.

I'm a firm believer in the Dr. Laura rule on marriage: minimum of one year dating before engagement and a minimum of one year before getting married. By that time, you should know enough about the person and their faults to see if they are someone you could spend the rest of your life with.

I have noticed that over 13 years of marriage, the natural tendency in a caring marriage is to WANT to change for the better. That is a reaction of love toward your spouse, but it cannot be a forced change.

Answer 4

No, I try to be with people who I don't have to change. If there are major issues that you can see being a problem down the road then you may be with the wrong person.

Answer 5

Only the willing can be changed and old habits die hard. I have watched folks try to change all manner of things in each other over the years and never seen it succeed. Nope I did not try to change my spouse. I loved him still do.

Answer 6

yes + no.i tried to change my 1st husband and that turned disasterous, and no because it backfired and i ended up being abused. i guess you would call it trying to control someone, which is a big no no. so i've had a taste of both sides and i didnt like either one. everyone has to be themselves in a relationship in order for it to work out.

Answer 7

thinking to change someone before marrying him/her is the first sign that you should NOT marry each other.

Answer 8

NO, why change someone love them for who they are
I did change my husband, well not him just his habit, i changed his habits because he couldnt change his habits, and he wanted his habits to be changed......What i am saying is WE did it in a good way to make things better.....He wanted to stop smoking weed and couldnt do it alone so i helped him stop that bad habit, if that makes any since.
I loved him when he was smoking and i love him now, We just prefered that he stoped, and he did.

Answer 9

I'm not getting married, yet sometimes, it's easier for someone to change themselves than for us to want to change them.We can't want it more than they do. Improvements do happen, when worked on mutually and suggested not imposed. :)

Answer 10

You can't change anyone. You can choose to curb some of your own behaviour but you can't change your nature or desires. First thing you might curb is the desire to change some one else.