My ex and I have been broken up for 5 months now. The reason why we broke up was because of his temper. He use to physically abuse me and tear up my things in my apartment. Since we've been broken up he has become saved and told me that he would never do those things to be again. He told me that now that he's in the realm of God, the devil can not get to him like that again and make him abuse me again. I still love him but I'm confused about whether or not I should give him another chance. I just dont want to look like a fool again. But on the other hand I feel like there arent really that many "good guys" out there and that because he's trying I should work with him. I dont know...He wants me to be saved with him and work this thing out. I can tell he's trying and really trying to change, I see the chance in him but still I'm confused. Please help me.
2007-03-23 20:32:03 · 19 answers · asked by Sexy D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Absolutely not! The fact that he blames the devil for his actions already prove he can't even take responsibility for his own actions. He needs therapy, and you really don't need him!
2007-03-29 23:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by Nastedani 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh...my...god woman!
Tell him "NO" and tell him often. I mean, I could see a woman asking this if the guy...say...was just hard to get along with, or wouldn't do his share of the housework, or...maybe even if he snuck cigarettes on the back porch once in awhile. Then came back to you with the "I'm saved" bit. In a case like one of those, I'd say..."What the f*ck?" But he beat you, that takes it up to a whole 'nother level.
That is one of the lowest forms of disrespect a human can show another. I don't care who you are or how badly your self-esteem has been damaged, DO NOT go back to this nutball. I'm gonna take a leap of faith here and say he's a con man plain and simple.
If he really thinks he's saved now than he has really changed internally and because his relationship with you was based on his having been sick before, He shouldn't be attracted to you in the same way anymore. (His sickness is gone) Anger was his drug and you were his vent.
If he isn't really saved...well you already know about that better than I could ever articulate.
He should feel that he owes you, at the absolute very least, a series of sincere apologies but beyond that he shouldn't be spending any time with the person who was a trigger for his anger. He should be spending plenty of time getting to know his new God, not trying to restart a relationship that will only cause him to relive all those old sicknesses.
I don't buy it for a second. 99% of people in cases like this repeat the same old situation over and over again. They say it takes a woman who has been beaten (on average) 7 tries to leave their abuser. The problem is, many of them don't live long enough to get to number 7. Do you want to find out if you can make it to 7? I hope not.
There are plenty of good, decent, honest men out there and even if you can't find one there are still plenty who never disrespect women like this...thug did to you.
If you are in a city of any size they should have some kind of free counciling available to women who have been through what you have been through. Please, I beg you, talk to one of these councillors and NEVER take this sh*theel back. You deserve to be treated like a lady, and no I don't care that you may have "done some things too".
2007-03-24 05:22:46 · answer #2 · answered by Corestar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give in so easy. Take it slow and see what happens. Maybe go to church with him see were his heart is at with God. Build the trust back up again. Remember that if God can give us a second chance. I'm sure you can to but, make him work for it. Also here is what is said in the Bible. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things become new. With knowing this this should be your justification for giving him a second chance. If you don't do this you will always wonder what would have happened between you. Good luck. If you see this pattern of behavior developing again just walk away from it. Then you can say I tried and he just wasn't the right person for me. May God bless you!
2007-03-24 04:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by CHIN 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi. I would wait it out as far as his temper goes. You can get saved though, that would really be awesome.. Go to church together and see how he acts as your friend. If he is different, which only you would know not all the other people on this computer board.. then go for it.. Once you get saved too you can get closer to God, and you can ask for his advice. The Devil is the enemy and people don't realize his arrows that he throws. Please take caution though. May God bless you and send his angels to watch over you:)
2007-03-31 18:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by Denise K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey,
After many years in this business, I must tell you the rule of thumb is "If it happened once it will happen twice. I know you want to believe him, but don't sell yourself short....there is an incredible man for you out there and he's not a beater. Another rule of thumb is ...the first time he hits you...you go/ You deserve better than that, Do the right thing the that stupid pity, fall for any line mentality.
May God bless and keep you always
2007-03-24 03:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by JOHN 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Time is the answer. Don't jump into anything. I would hate to see you get hurt
again. It's 5 months and not a good thing to get back together. Be firm about it and don't give in. You might just get the answer that you want. Please,
think about this. He may be saying that he is saved because he thinks that is
what you want to hear.
2007-03-28 04:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by Garnet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he REALLY turned toward his maker? Or is he looking for an alabi? More is required. Rage doesn't just disappear, Hon. Serious couciling is required to change this "wiring". If drinking was envolved, then this could have contrubuted to his being out of control. But brief meetings should be held first before moving back together, in my opinion. And verify his church attendance, too. If it's sporatic than how much influence can it have upon his life?
2007-03-24 03:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by LELAND 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am saved myself and i just gave some other chick advice to go find a christian guy. i think it will b awesome if u got saved with him. with 2 strong saved people in the house there is peace, not all the time but it wont b like how it was when he abused u. ill pray for u. good luck
2007-03-24 03:37:30 · answer #8 · answered by SHABOOYA! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this guy did all of these terrible things to you, do you really want to go through it again? i wouldn't go out with him again. try another guy. there's probably much better guys than him out there. and plus, he might just be saying he won't do it again so he can get you back.
2007-04-01 00:08:36 · answer #9 · answered by teddy-bear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb and watch his reaction. If he gets pissed and starts swinging, it was all an act, if he gets depressed just tell him that now is a bad time, and that you would just like to be friends for a while. All in all though, that's a tough one.
2007-03-24 03:37:35 · answer #10 · answered by Heero Yui 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋