in arranged marriages ..if a gal is asked abt previous affairs...wat should/will be her response ?

Question

In arranged marriages(india especially) ..how will a gal respond if she is asked abt her previous affairs before marriage ...if she had one.ideally she should tell the truth but if she is not telling the truth ..how do you categorise her act ?

So far people have answered that there is nothing wrong in hiding the truth ..or it is non of his buisness ...so starting a relationship with lying is justified???

Mind it the boy is asking abt it before the marriage ...

@marsh man... i have mentioned there that the boy asks before marriage ...read the question before answering

Answer 1

Well, I'd say, if one is meeting some girl for arranged marriage, then girl should/ would not disclose her past at first. Also not only girl, even boy also would not/should not disclose her past at first. Both should meet and talk about each other's interest & future plans. Once both of them have confidence with each other, both of them should share past waith each other but before deciding for marriage. As you guys are entering into a marriage relationship, it wud be best to build a relationship on the basis of truth & not lies. My policy would be one shud be 100% true in such cases, but it doesnt happen these days practically.

I have read couple of people have mentioned, its none of your business, but everybody has its own criterias for choosing a life partner, like a boy/girl who has 4/5 affairs before marriage would be right for a person with same background and not a complete virgin. Anyways, I am ot commenting on anybody's preferences, its just that one should not lie during marriage proposal time, becoz its the start of a relationship and if there is a lie in the start, I am not sure, if it can run for long.

Answer 2

How does a girl respond when her lover b/f asks about her previous affairs? I believe the girl should tell the truth and the man should respect her for her honesty and forget the matter. Ones past should not be givin much consideration. It's ones present that's important.

The fact is that the past is always about the most vulnerable age. Most the times we make some immature decisions at that age. But that doesn't mean that he/she are all the same since then and would do the same blunders again. My past was horrible regarding relationships, financial conditions, career, etc. It was because I didn't find those things important, I was a careless kind of a person. But my present is quite different, It's gr8 regarding all those aspects and I understand importance of those aspects too. There's always a big difference between past and present.

All the best...

:-)

Answer 3

This is quite natural a boy with mean mentality will ask the question about the past.
But what i feel a person should do is that what ever has been done should be forgotten and not questioned, but ask one simple question, you want to marry me.
Don't ask each other the previous experience bitter or good.
If you are opting for an arranged marriage don't expect that the girl will say true, she might be having a feeling of loosing the marriage proposal.
When you will met ones or twice may be she will and you will also tell the foes.

Answer 4

yeah dear ....
before u asked this question let me put it this way how would u feel when some day when ur sitting with group of friends and someone comments abt ur would-be's previous affair and gives u the filthiest details abt his affair .....and how he has been involved with him .....

this is one issue coming to second one the world is very small place and ur affair is not hidden from many .... the day ur husband comes know abt it ur in deep trouble ... think wat the ppl will add to ur affair .... the most lewd description and to even the level of saying u acted in **** video ....

the most appropriate decision now should be that u tell the truth now or else one day he will believe every lie told by someone else as truth since u have lost the first chance of proving ur truthful .... even then if think that u can pull it all u life under the threat of being known abt ur prev affair .....

i would say is the life worth it ????

if any case he rejects u be very happy that u need not bare him life long ... there is someone else for u .... if u listen to these old wife's tales then ur gone for nothing ... the tech is so advance that ppl are connected everywhere ,.... think again

bye
and best of luck for ur life

Answer 5

In an arranged marriage, for a boy, to ask about the girls previous affairs, after the marriage is cowardice, He has tied the Mangalya in the presence of Agni that under any circumstances he will not forsake her. To pour a question now is most inappropriate. Once you have accepted some one as your wife, she is absolutely your possession man. No body else can even look at her even on askance..I wll simply smash him. Nasty thing. How dare he look at my wife. She is my better of and will be my every thing in the days to come.

The boy had an opportunity to enquire about it before the betrothal. at the time of formal interview, chit chat. Then you explore all possible past connections and get convinced fully. If there is an iota doubt exist, tell your dad that she is not fit for you as you can not be mutual equations. You timid guy, without opening your lips then, you talk about ideal ,truth etc. now, only you have to be categorised as timid person and not she, as untrue etc.

Answer 6

Talking about previous relation does matter but it also matters how the other one is taking it. So, two people should know each other very well before confiding about talking about previous relationship. But anyways. past is past and no one can change it, so an individual should be broad minded enough to accept it and also be able to take the right judgement.

Answer 7

She will never tell the truth to any one if she is wise keeping in mind safety first tactics & Indian people's mentaliyt, neither before nor after marriage. If she is a fool & anemotional one she may tell under pressure but that may destroy her life completely.

Answer 8

In India, a woman should not have had any previous affairs... But if she did and lies, that would be her best bet right?? Don't they do some really nasty suff to women who aren't virgins on their wedding night??

Answer 9

If i was her would slap you and tell you to f***off. As you are there to talk about present and future not to worry about the past.
Are you an immature person who wants to enquire about girls past affairs rather than building future together? Spartan

Answer 10

Liars (supporters & preachers) are the worst & the dirtiest. In India mostly marriages are arranged by parents and elders & youngesters are bound to accept their selection. They are at liberty for unwed activities irrespective of caste, language, region or religion etc. and wedded relations have to be as decided by their elders & parents.
In India there is minimum age restriction for marriage (not for unwed sexual activities), 18+ for girls and 21+ for boys.
Premarital, extramarital or unwed sexual activities are not barred or prohibited hence no offence punishable in any Indian law. A wife’s sexual intercourse with other/s is also no offence, hence no prosecution or punishment to her. Pre marital sexual intercourses with other/s cannot be a ground to seek divorce under Hindu/Special Marriage Act. Thus a female’s physical sexual relations with persons/s of her choice (with their consent) is not an offence or prohibited / barred in any Indian law and she is at liberty to enjoy SEX freely and fearlessly. A male’s physical sexual relations with any 16+ female (with her consent) is no offence or barred / prohibited in any Indian Law, unless she is in the wedlock of somebody else and is done knowing her wedlock or without her husband’s consent or connivance. All unwed sexual activities (pre/post/extra marital), perverted & homosexual acts are specifically forbidden in Islam ALONE in clearly written unambiguous words as great sin & heinous crime punishable with publicly lashing / death by pelting stones.