I'm a Chinese lesbian, 22years old. It's so hard for me to sustain my life in China. All of my mums friends are trying to introduce me to men. I'm so frustrated by them, and couldn't bear it any more. But what can I do?
I'm not a pessimistic person, but sometimes I think about suicide, which is probably the only way to face my situation and get my parents unhurt.
2007-03-23 20:12:08 · 21 answers · asked by Koala 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Suicide won't really help the situation. Unfortunately, life throws hurdles at us, and we have to deal with it. Suicide is a selfish way to not deal with the problem. I, and many others, have been where you are. Find someone to talk to, to vent to, even if it's only on here. Email me. Don't make a final solution to a problem that's temporary. And trust me, it is temporary, even though it doesn't feel temporary.
2007-03-23 20:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by ☮ wickey wow wow ♀♀ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie, I realize that this is hard for you right now but suicide is not the answer. You're young and have a lot to offer. Personally I think you should try to find someone who can help you with the depression you are going through right now. Not just a professional but also family and friends. Once you have that under control you can focus on the rest of your life. Just take this one day at a time and never give up hope. If nothing else there are plenty of us here to try our best to help you.
2007-03-23 21:06:19 · answer #2 · answered by choel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please dont ever do anything silly. You may say that it is ur life. But have you ever thought about who gave you ur life? Think about ur parents. Suicide is just another way of forgetting the pain? isit? But have you ever thought about the process. How painful it would be. Have you thought about the after life? It is not worth doing such a silly thing.
Alright, why don't you tell your parents that you are lesbian. You are 22 and you are an adult. You have the right to make your on decision. Come clean with your parents. Tell them how you feel. If they do not accept it, tell them that you wont be happy with a man either & grandchildren would be an impossibility. And even after that they force you to mary a man, migrate to some place else. Afterall your are an adult.
2007-03-24 00:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about suicide. It isn't worth it at all. I know. I tried it 40 years ago...and I would have missed 40 great years if I had succeeded. You don't say where you are in China...if you are near a big city Beijing, Nanjing, Shanghai, Chongqing, etc ...you should be able to find support groups of some kind. They can help you.. I understand a lot of what pressures chinese culture puts on you. Wo shuo putonghua shuo de hen cha. I care...so do a lot of us. Suicide is never an answer.
2007-03-23 20:38:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just cause you dont want to sleep with our have babies with or build a life with these guys your being introduced to doesnt mean you cant be introduced to them go out with them enjoy time with them. It could be worse your parents could be introducing you to women you hate and forcing you on dates and such. At least with the guys you know that there is no future so your not getting your hopes up and then crashing down when you realize your mom set you up with another superficial hilton twin wanna-be. lol The main thing is to be true to thy self If you know who you are then nothing anyone has to say or do can change things. As to the suicide thing it is simply a permanent solution to a temporary problem put it out of your mind. Believe me you parents would not be unhurt and it is not a way to face your problem. It is cowardly it is running away it leaves others to ask why and to clean up afterwards trying for the rest of their lives to put the pieces back together. Suicide is not the answer.
Be true to thyself stand up for yourelf and make others realize that you may want to define your sexual preference but you are not letting your sexual preference be your definition. I am sure there is so much more to you than being a lesbian. Make your parents and others see this and you will be fine, I am sure of it.
2007-03-23 20:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by James D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need the support of a group, people who have dealt with these pressures from parents. I am hetero, but Japanese and I know all about family expectations. A lot of Asian parents do not believe that an Asian girl is capable of being Lesbian. Since you did mention suicide, I have to say that you need to seek professional help. Find a counselor who can deal with the range of issues you face. Go to the Discover section of Yanswers and see what others have written about and the answers they got. You will see that you are not alone in this. Girls all over the world are pressured with marriage to "cure" them. Best of luck to you!!
2007-03-23 20:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by whrldpz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your parents would be far more hurt by the loss of a child than by one being gay.
Move to America, see the world. There is so much more out there than this situation. I know that it isn't an easy one, but what is? I'm not familiar with the culture there, but here you would be able to immerse yourself in your career path, and tell everyone that you are too busy for boys. Then, when you are ready, you can come out.
And if you happen to get any gay-bashers, ignore them, sweetie. Your life is more precious than that.
2007-03-23 20:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by TiGeR 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One solution is to leave to study or work abroad. The US is probably quite happy to have Chinese teachers and you may even be able to find a translating position. There are probably similar things you can do in other more lesbian friendly countries as well.
2007-03-23 20:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a gay guy in the same situation and hook up with him. Then you will both will have your own little secrets. Everyone around will think it's "normal". Lots of people live like this and make it work. Telling your parents sounds like it would not be an option. Don't kill your self over this!
2007-03-23 21:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by Susan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget their opinions, Lesbians are hot and so are Chinese chicks so Babe u got it both ways, dont think of suicide, i think i might be bi but i love my boyfriend so im in some mess 2. Baby move 2 America, U definantly will be accepted more. By the way not every one dislikes lesbians... i get turned on by girl on girl action.
2007-03-23 20:18:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋