Now that we're living together, I realize just how much time my new husband spent with his buddies before we were married. They've now become semi-permanent houseguests -- the other day, I came home and two of them were already parked on our couch (and he wasn't even home yet!). I don't want him to lose his friends, but they're driving me crazy. How can we handle this?
2007-03-23 19:56:30 · 13 answers · asked by Finally his wife! 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lol... they know were our spare key is... I already moved it to another spott....
2007-03-23 20:05:26 · update #1
i dont think taking off for a few days would help matters any.....
2007-03-23 20:26:03 · update #2
Tell your husband that you like his friends and are glad they are so close but that you need time alone with him and that it makes you uncomfortable to have surprise guests. Ask him to talk to his friends and tell them that he would appreciate if they would call before they come over and to respect the fact that he is no longer a single guy and wants time with his wife.
If they are good friends they will respect his wishes. If he is a good husband he will not make you out to be the bad guy but will be understanding of your request and firm on his needs.
2007-03-24 04:39:56 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll mature eventually and realize that friends come and go but a marriage you have to work on. After all like my hubby used to say, if the cat can't find it at home, he'll go looking for it in the alleys, that goes for female cats too. Too much attention to the buddies, makes the honey lonely...and that's not a way to live. You could always (I'm not a Shrink nor any kind of relationship counselor but...) flirt a bit with his buddies, he might just realize what he is exposing you too. What if those guys in your house were watching x rated tv...would he want you to plop on the couch and join their TV viewing...how did they get in anyway? Change the locks.
2007-03-24 03:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by Deborah A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something he has to handle, with kid gloves I might add. They think of him as "bud" yet and, don't realize he has a partner. If he can't handle it you'll have to, be gentle but, be firm. Give him certain days he can have his "buds" over, make a pact that they'll have to follow. No beer cans all over the house, don't miss the pot, things like that.
Ask him what he'll think if you come out of the shower naked and his "buds" are there, then tell him, it's your home, not the bar scene and you want it to start being that way.
2007-03-24 03:23:35 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the locks and don't give anyone a spare key. Tell your husband his friends are too close to comfort and real friends respect other people's privacy, especially when it comes to their married friends.
2007-03-24 03:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go spend 2 or 3 nights in an expensive hotel and see if your b/f notices that you are not there. Take advantage of their spa/salon, order room service, and just see what happens.
2007-03-24 03:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should definatley tell him how this makes you feel, you are in the relatioship just as much as he is. tell him you don't mind his friends coming over every now and then but he needs to make time for you too! if he wants it to be a lasting marriage he needs to put forth the effort to make it work too..good luck!
2007-03-24 03:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him -- it's difficult enough to sustain a relationship with ONE other person, without a 3rd, 4th, and 5th wheel attached!
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2007-03-24 03:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by Maewest 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for you and your husband to TALK, what a concept.
2007-03-24 08:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are probably there because they think you look fabulous. Your husband should be worried.
2007-03-24 03:00:14 · answer #9 · answered by supertop 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it and let him know how it makes you feel.
2007-03-24 02:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by Sergeant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋