Marriage on the rocks......?

Question

I feel as though I'm not doing something right. My husband, which btw is my second, continually drinks, like my ex husband, which is why I left him. Now, it seems as though I'm in a vicisious cycle. I love this man with all my heart, but I'm at my breaking point with him. I grew with an alcoholic father, my ex-hubby is an alcoholic , and now my current husband. Damn, what is a broken hearted wife to do?!?!?!

For those of you who thinks I drink myself, I don't...self explainitory...and...I did not meet my ex or current husband in a bar. I attend church on a regular basis and have even talked with my Pastor about this. So, if those of you who want to bash me, please don't bothering giving advice. Thanks.

Answer 1

Please, please, please, for yourself, go into some counseling. And, also, please go to ala-non meetings. I see the cycle you are in, that needs to be broken. Whether or not your current husband acknowledges his drinking problem, please, go to ala-non meetings. If possible, and you want, ask a friend to go with you. You will find so many others in the "same boat" as you. You will find coping skills by going, plus, the same for counseling. Whether or not you choose to stay with this man, tht is up to you. I would recommend if he does not recognize his drinking problem, set a time limit for yourself to end it. If that is what you want. I personally believe you deserve someone who is much better than that, someone who does not drink, and will love you, protect and defend you, provde for you, etc. Do what a man is suposed to do, and be. I wish you the best. Take care.

Answer 2

Well, I'm not a big supporter of nagging, but, this seems like a good excuse to start! I mean, throw out all booze in the house! If he buys a six pack and puts it in the refer, throw it in the sink! When he asks what's going on, tell him the truth. Just let it be known that any alcohol that enters the house WILL go down the drain, whether it be cheap wine or expensive champagne. Even if he brings it home and expressly forbids it's destruction. Eventually he will get the idea that it's not worth the pain to drink. I would normally say this is your own fault for marrying someone who drinks, but I'm a guy who hates the taste of alcohol so I'm not the correct one to focus on when it comes to social drinking. I do collect wines, but it's just a hobby and a bit of an investment opportunity.

Answer 3

Hmm, well, maybe you are over reacting? Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. Talk to your husband about it and talk to a counsellor. His so called alcoholism could be in your head not his. My mother grew up with an alcoholic father, or at least that's what she claims, but she thinks that anyone who has a few drinks a day or gets drunk on occasion is an alcoholic and clearly that is not true.

Answer 4

So do u think your husband loves you? if he does that than say if you did really love me than you would stop drinking and ill stay with you. Be honest and tell him that you love him. You need to talk things out the cycle of marry drunk men has taken over your life. Talk things out ask him y drink? go to consoling or to church that helps talk to him....if u two really love each other that u'll never be seperated, dont take any advice that tells you to leave ur husband cause if you do really love him and he loves you than you can always work things out.

Answer 5

Where are you fining these guys? the bar scene. Maybe if you stop your drinking and start looking somewhere else for a mate, like a church group. We have a large support group at our church that caters to singles.
My daughters tend to jump into relationships without thinking and then come crying home. I tell them every time, "if you lay with dogs, your going to get fleas" that's just the way it is.
Think before you leap.

Answer 6

Tell him how feel about his drinking. Let him know that will leave him if he doesnt stop even though thats the last thing u want to do. If he loves u he'll get off the sauce if he doesnt he will keep doing and that just means you got to go for a 3'rd. Lifes to short to spend it with someone who does not appericate you. You be much happeir else were

Answer 7

Somehow convince him to seek help. Be there for him and support him. Keep an eye on him! Something must be done otherwise it will never end. Never let him have a drink. Not ONE! You need some counseling as well, to get out of this thing where you attach yourself to alcoholics. It would've been a good idea to approach a guy who doesn't drink at all...Does he know full well the impact he's causing on you, your family, his friends? It must affect his work.

Answer 8

Wow girl, you are in a vicious cycle. It sounds like you're attracted to the same kind of men. Is there anyway to get your husband help? He can't be helped unless he wants to be helped, but there needs to be some sort of change there.
It doesn't sound like you're very happy and if he can't change, YOU can't change him no matter how much you love him. He needs professional help.
I hope things work out for you. Remember God never gives us more than we can handle.

Answer 9

The reason you've been with alcoholics is because you're subconsciusly looking for one. It's all you know, thanks to your father.
No matter how much you love this man, give him an ultimatum: go to AA and sober yourself up, or divorce me. If he cares for you like you do for him, he will do it for the sake of your marriage. If not, end it. The heartache and heartbreak is not worth it.
PLEASE BREAK YOUR CYCLE.
You have to find a non-alcoholic man.
Good luck

Answer 10

You are just doing what you know. You chose your first husband and your second for the same reasons. You are somehow comfortable living with alkies. Time for huge counselling for you. Hopefully you have not brought kids into your sickness.