i hate my inlaws they hate me?

Question

at first i loved them more then my own parents cuz they acted caring,,then i head them talking about me behind my back and quickly they r nice to the face again..now i cant stand them they r fake..im someone who says thank u 100x and sorry too.im sensitive i act caring so no one feels hurt,,why did they do this,,and my MIL teaches my husband to keep me tight so hes rude and acts like hes my boss.i told him dont do this cuz people who act superior fall on their face in life..why is his mom punishing me through her son by having him be mean to me,,hes a caring guy it looks like hes desperate to listen to his mom and is not happy with stress at home,,he said he rather stay at his job cus he hates home..,will he realize his mom is the bad lady?

Answer 1

So you act to be nice in front of your in-laws. Andyou feel they act in front of you too. Maybe they realize that you are just acting to be nice and your inner feelings towards them are different. That is why they keep warning their son about you. Don't you think you should take out this hatredness from your heart. Just accept them. Don't act, develop the respect at you heart and see how things around you change.

All the best...

:-)

Answer 2

u may be sensitive. but time has come for u to be strong. why did u allow the matters to get this far? instead of pretending to be caring, u could have spoken openly to ur inlaws. tell them that u had loved them like ur own parents but they have hurt u by stabbing u from behind. ask them whther u have done anthing wrong. if they point out ur mistake, and if u feel u can defend urself ,do so but not in a harsh fasion. tell them that u r sorry for hurting them, though unintentionally.. if u feel u were wrong, apologize to them. there is nothing wrong in doing that. it is easy to make and break a relation. but it is tough to maintain a relation. if u want to make this relation a success, u need to adjust. u knwo, mothers always feel jealous of their sons wives. they feel that they r going to lose thier sons to the new woman. afterall, this may be the real problem with ur MIL too. if u feel thats the problem, dont give her the attention taht she is craving for. act as if u coudlnt care less. but u should be very firm when it comes to ur husband. tell him whatever has happened bw u and ur inlaws. assure him that u would love to have a healthy relation with his parents. u can seek his help too. never allow him to ride roughshod over you. try to convince him what the real problem is. if u think oving out will be a good option, say so to ur husband. all the best to u.

Answer 3

I am in the same situatin you are in. My soon to be in law (mother mostly) hates me. But my fiance and I are still getting married and we are still having the same normal, both families, invited wedding. My fiance goes to his parents house for dinner every Sunday and I stay home. It has been like this for two years. Don't ever think that your hubby will EVER think ill of his mother, becasue he won't. You need to handle it on your own. If you have already talked to your hubby, then he is not going to give you any help. But there are quite a few marriages where one side hates the other, and the couple still is married, happily, with children and can deal with it. You should also put your foot down with your hubby to let him know that you won't take him being controlling and bossing you. But no matter hwat age, the mother of our men will always have an influence on them. My soon to be mother-in-law doesnt want us to get married and we live together, for over two years, and she says that we are two desparate people who think that we can't find anyone better. So don't think that you are in the boat alone.

Answer 4

Something you wrote makes me think you are living with your in-laws. Work on changing that to their satisfaction. Get a condo in Florida for yourself and send them there to house-sit! Your m-in-law just wants your to act like the ideal daughter. You aren't used to what she thinks 'ideal' is. She's also trying to influence her son's behavior. When they someday have a place to live of their own, or you do, things will change. Maybe the only thing you should talk to your husband about is getting some independence from his parents by having your own place together. He may really want that to (sounds that way).

Answer 5

It appears to me that you are both either very young or living with the relatives. You cannot change people for how they think or feel, but in order for this marriage to survive , the two of you are going to have to leave all of the other interference off of the menu. You need to be by yourselves without the people around trying to control your marriage.

Answer 6

You have to forgive and forget first.Then you have to analyse the reasons of hate coolly.You will be surprised to know that main reason will come out to be over expectation from each other.You start shading expectation from other and try to live for each other; soon hate will be converted in love and harmony.

Answer 7

I'm confused. Why does he hate home? Do you guys live with the in-laws? If so, move out, NOW. End of problem. If he hates the home that you and he have together, I recommend counseling.

Answer 8

The problem is that both sides are play-acting. Deep down in their hearts they are insecure and wanting. Try to accept their double standards, and don't hitch your wagon to your husband. You need to find another refree. Maybe your father,'cos mothers are always biased. His and yours.

Answer 9

Mam at no matter of time get depressed no matter what happens and please remove the hate-redness from your heart , have faith in god there is a lot to learn from life each day analyse your self and try to get better and better. And in your free time try and read Bhagvad Gita.

Answer 10

its the same problem that every desi wife seems to be having......mil are too obstinate to let go of their son and dil are too greedy to have the son all to themselves.
its only that there are two dogs fighting for the same bone