Coming from me, a 14 year old girl- I am a devoted Christian and I love and trust God very much. I have put up with a lot of people telling me that I'm stupid and that I still believe in children's fairy tales and once I get older I will come to my senses. This especially comes up when I try to talk to people about sex before marriage. I know that a lot (probably most) people would say that people who don't have sex before marriage are missing out on a lot and that it's stupid for the Bible to say we are not allowed to do it. Even as a Christian I have had to fight a lot of temptation when it comes to this. Think about it this way. If all of us only had sex while we were married and therefore only had one partner in our lives, this would GREATLY decrease the spread of STDs and STIs, not to mention that many girls would end up happier in the long run. We have all heard stories of girls giving birth to twins when they're 15, then not knowing who the father is,
2007-03-23 18:44:47 · 23 answers · asked by †StrongAsDeath† 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and the girl ending up stuck at home for the rest of her high school life because she has to take care of a baby. Or, the mother puts the baby up for adoption, and yes, this is good because the baby can be given to someone who has time to take care of him/her, but the baby will grow up knowing that he/she has never met his/her real parents. Of course, some girls might think they can just go on birth control or make their boyfriends wear condoms, but some people can't afford birth control, and both methods fail sometimes. Think about it...if you get married to someone and you've already had sex with them before you were married, there is nothing left to do that you haven't already done, if you know what I mean...however, if you wait, you can look forward to your wedding night a lot more. I am sickened by today's society and all the people who are too caught up in self-indulgence to stop and think about the consequences. I could go on, but I am trying not to make philosophical speeches a
2007-03-23 18:45:06 · update #1
and make everyone stop listening. But even if you aren't a Christian, don't believe in God, and don't care what the Bible says (I'm not trying to tell you you should), you should still think before you act. Pause before you play. Think about the responsibilities you would have if you got pregnant, or if you're male, how you would feel if you got your girlfriend pregnant. Yeah, I know that wasn't a question, but here IS the question...what do you think about this? Do you agree with me or do you think I need to grow up? Just remember, God will not present you with a situation that presents more temptation than you can handle. =]
2007-03-23 18:45:51 · update #2
You have a really good head on your shoulders there.... especially for a 14 year old. I just want to tell you how very proud I am of you. God is too. ♥ God will reward you with an incredible man someday. You will get what you truly deserve.
I agree with everything you have said. This is my input as well:
You should stay a virgin till you're married.
God intended it to be that way.
But many, MANY people abuse that.
And God looks down on those people.
You don't just give your virginity to just anybody.
It is the best present you can give your future husband.
It is you... it is all of you.
If you become pregnant, you can handle it better when you're married.
You'll have that person beside you who promised to always be by your side.
It won't be some random guy or some guy who you THOUGHT loved you.
Sex makes many things complicated in an unmarried relationship.
It takes two very mature people.
You do not want to get yourself lost in everything that comes with sex.
Most people nowadays tend to just BASE their relationship on sex.
I am a virgin. I have a boyfriend of 13 months that I am completely in love with. We talk about marriage and how I want to wait till our wedding day to have sex. He truly does love me... he respects me. That's when you KNOW you have a great guy. That's when you KNOW he's in love with you... when he has absolutely no problem in waiting. Actions speak louder than words...
2007-03-23 18:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would probably say that I struggle with that question on literally a day to day basis...I'm not Christian but still was raised in a conservative household....On the one hand I do believe that a person is accountable for their actions but on the other hand I see that a great majority of people are having sex and having happy lives and relationships and I'm in constant struggle with the issue. I also want at the same time to be able to have a great sex life but it seems that I'm no closer to marriage and I'm 23....and the problem with marriage is that it takes forever because marriage takes a lot of money and resources.
2007-03-24 02:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by Abe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that it is a personal choice. I have a 17 year old daughter that is a virgin by choice. One of her best friends got pregnant at 15 and now has a beautiful son, she is graduating high school with her class and has been accepted to a very good University that has a program for students that are parents. Noboby should dictate what you believe. It is your choice to decide. What may be right for some people may not be right for you. I can't say what is right or wrong for you. You are the only person that can decide that. Just don't be too harsh on the people that don't agree with you. It is their choice and the only one that have to answer to in the end is God.
2007-03-24 02:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, and only 14! I normally don't answer questions for young girls, just seems inappropriate at my age, but had to give you KUDOS for your insights. However, let me tell you pre-marital sex is not possible. Let me explain. The Bible story of the woman at the well..... Christ comes up to her and asks what she's doing.... (very liberal commentary huh?) She states she is drawing water for her husband. Christ tells her, yeah, you're right but you have multiple husbands. Most believe her to be a hooker, I don't personally think so, just a girl with no clue what love is. The premise is that whenever you have sex, in God's eyes, you are married! You know becoming one! So it's impossible to have pre-marital sex if the act makes you married...in God's eyes. If this thought stopped here, it alone might cause many to wait on actual vows before sex. However, continue this thought and you find the responsibility of these people after marriage "in God's eyes". There are responsibilities of husbands and wives! We don't meet these responsibilities and each day we fail, we sin. That's a heck of allot of sinning!
2007-03-24 02:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. You're very mature for your age, don't listen to those who say you will "come to your senses when you get older"
I lost my virginity to a friend when I was 19 and went through a pregnancy scare immediately afterward. The stress of it ended up ruining our 3 years of friendship.
Since then, I've had 4 other partners and countless pregnancy scares. I also flunked out of college due to missing several weeks of classes because of herpes outbreaks. I've been raped twice and called every name in the book. Not surprisingly, I've earned myself a bad reputation by doing all sorts of things that I'd rather not admit to.
I recently became a born-again Christian, which is a decision that I'm proud of. I'm working on changing my reputation, although I know it won't be easy.
And yes, I wish I had saved myself for marriage.....
2007-03-24 02:16:12 · answer #5 · answered by Happy go Lucky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are one hundred and fifty percent right. Don't let anybody try to tell you different. My wife is a Christian and remained a virgin until we married. I was the luckiest or rather blessed by God to have her. I want to take it from me, a doting father of an 8 yr old daughter, that I think what you are standing for is what is good and right. Yours is the standard by which real women are judged. I'm telling you that a young man will respect you alot more than some girl that feels like she has to do things to get a boy's attention or so-called "love". When your that age its not love it's something else. And yes I speak from experience. I was that way. Don't trust boys.
Keep it up and you'll do great and meet a nice young man that will treat you nice and like a queen b/c you will be his gift from God.
Take care
2007-03-24 01:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I absolutley agree with you....wait till mariiage to have sex..i am a christian and believe in waiting for true love. Out of all my friends me and 1 other girl are virgins I feel like each day one of my friends is being led into temptation and will never come back. I think they are scared to talk to me about it because they know my feelings on it...They think ill freak out or that i dont understand because im not in a serious relationship....but i have had opportunities if i wanted to but i chose not to because of my beliefs and morals and my love for God...God is the only one that can judge someone so let them make thier decisions and live with it.
2007-03-24 01:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Ash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I only read some of that because it was way too long so i had to stop. I am not religious in any way but when i was younger i wanted to save myself for marriage. When I turned 20 I realized that i might not even get married so why am i still waiting? So i had sex. Thank god because i'm still not married and it doesn't look like i ever will be. What happens if you don't get married, are you going to be a virgin for the rest of your life? In my experience i have also found that most men don't like sleeping with virgins. I also don't think that in this day in age men will wait until you marry them. You are right though if everyone in the world waited until they got married there wouldn't be a lot of people with std's. I know nothing about religion but don't christians believe that everyone sins and the only way to get rid of it is to believe in jesus christ? If that's true can't you still have sex before marriage and have your sins washed away? But anyways, you're only 14 you are way to young to be thinking of sex right now. Who knows in 5 years from now you might be thinking differently.
2007-03-24 01:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well don't let religion play a part in it. I know that it is hard but be realistic regardless of your personal faith. Consider the consequences, the person you are considering this with, take precautions if you choose to go ahead and above all only do what you feel comfortable with. Find out what makes you happy and go with it. The only person you have to live with is yourself (unless you get pregnant) and a fulfilled life is one that is true to self.
2007-03-24 01:50:58 · answer #9 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very happy and proud of you just like God is. God intended sex for marriage because it involves lots of emotions and feelings. I had sex at 19 and I wish I didn't, I was pressured by some guy. Its for the best. Currently I am do my best to withhold sex and sexual acts...its kinda hard but not impossible. Be happy and be a virgin! :3
2007-03-24 01:58:58 · answer #10 · answered by DelightBunnie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋