We met and she was very foward about her situation. She was no longer in love with her husband and was legally separted and had moved out. Divorce papers were filed and she was just waiting for it to be final. We became exclusive after about 2 weeks of dating and i could honestly say i fell in love with her after 2 months although i didn't tell her. Things were going great. We would share our life dreams, talked about our future and about marriage and kids. Now 4 months had gone by and she suddenly breaks up with me. she said that she felt guilty that she was moving on and her husband was at home miserable. I don't understand why she cares after he emotionally abused her for 3 years and was border line physical abusive. So i feel like everything she said to me was a lie and now I'm heartbroken over her. How do i move on ;(
2007-03-23 18:37:59 · 11 answers · asked by lami 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's a tricky situation that you're in. I can safely say you're better off without the drama. You may care for her but, she's in no position to get into a new relationship right now. If she was emotionally abused by her ex, he probably still has a hold on her psychologically which is hard to break. She has to want to break free from that and from the sound of it, she doesn't want to.
The only thing you can do is just move on. That means pushing yourself to do things and get out there. That doesn't mean date any random woman, it means to go out with friends, take up a new hobby, anything to get your mind off her. It will take awhile but, you can get over this. Don't get sucked back into this mess. I can guarantee you that it will be a roller coaster with her until she's ready to move on herself. She's not over her ex husband and she basically made a lame excuse to end things with you. That doesn't mean what she said to you was a lie, she's just not ready to be with someone else quite yet.
2007-03-23 18:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if you're saying she returned to her husband or if she walked away from both of you. Any woman who enjoys abuse is nutz. And where you are concerned, sounds to me like she was acting as if she was on the rebound (not a good thing to do as it just means she was confused when she was doing it, or if she was not over her husband, which I'm sure she was not, she could have been saying to you what she felt she was saying to her husband...I know, it sounds confusing).
She probably realized she moved too quickly and wasn't sure in her own mind what she wanted or wanted to do. Some people "try things on for size" so to speak, they dream and that's all it is is a dream. Time will tell if in the future the divorce takes place and she returns to you after ample time.
Let it rest for now and see how things go. Don't rush into anything. In the meantime date other people.
2007-03-24 01:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's eally hard to accept failure specially when relationships are involved. But why dont you look at the brighter side, maybe she's not really meant for you & a much better affair is coming your way. She already has a family and it's just right to have your own. After all the bitterness that happened between them she's still there for him because maybe they are meant to be. Just move on and a better, brighter day will come soon.
2007-03-24 01:56:01 · answer #3 · answered by dale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the million dollar question. the only tips i can give you(and its from personal experience) is to use the mind for all its worth. u may feel that your heart and your mind are separate parts ,but they are connected.u must dig your way out of dispair by confronting everything about this relationship. convince yourself that u have complete control over your life,and emotions. meditate on the realization that u create your own reality.u invited her into your life as u created it, and u can completely uninvite her into your life. u must create a new reality for yourself that does not include her or the heartache that knowing her brought into your life.work on developing new skills and self-improvement. these things work. best wishes
2007-03-24 02:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not ready to be in a relationship. Don't date people who are going through a divorce or have recently divorced or broke up. Unfortunately you were a rebound guy that got his heart trampled. Take some time to yourself to heal. You sound like a nice guy so I am sure you will find someone else.
Good luck!
2007-03-24 01:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll get over it with time. In the future, don't get involved with people just getting out of a long, or otherwise intense, relationship. This woman needed time to get over her broken marriage, and you two were already discussing marriage within four months. She probably got scared. Anyway, good luck to you.
2007-03-24 01:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by ginger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She used you to find someone to prove herself still desirable even though failing at a marriage. Don't get involved with those who are still involved legally or emotionally--it'll end up a trainwreck for your heart no matter what.
2007-03-24 01:44:00 · answer #7 · answered by nancydeanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drink a 6 pack & go to a strip club ...Get a lapdance - this is from my drunken husband....
I don't know why some women are stupid & go back to an abusive relationship.....I'm sorry
2007-03-24 01:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by Catcanscratch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds messed up and confused about eveything.
Walk away and be thankful you didn't invest more time into the relationship.
Go out and start meeting other women.
All the best to you.
2007-03-24 01:43:00 · answer #9 · answered by badboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Place one foot in front of the other......sorry
2007-03-24 01:42:31 · answer #10 · answered by Bonnie Lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋