GLBTQ Folks: How much internalized homophobia do you have?

Question

Consider the following questions:

1. Do you ever stop yourself from doing or saying certain things because someone might think you are gay or lesbian? What kinds of things?

2. Do you ever intentionally do or say things so that people will think you're not gay/lesbian? What kinds of things?


3. How often do you cringe away from people who act or appear to be gay or lesbian?

4. Do you steer clear of people who put gay advocacy bumper stickers on their cars?

5. Do you protest when gay people show mild affection in public?

6. If you had the opportunity to become 100% heterosexual, would you take it?

- {♂♂} - {♂♀} - {♀♀} -

Answer 1

I'm gay, and I really do have a lot of internalized homophobia. I have trouble dealing with groups of other gay people, so I only have one gay friend. I've never been to a gay bar or club because I'm almost scared of them. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only gay guy alive that dislikes homosexuals.

Before everyone thinks I'm the most horrible person of all time, this isn't exactly an excuse, but something to ponder. I grew up in rural Alabama. Before coming to college, I couldn't tell you that I had ever seen any homosexual couples (or their PDA). I never saw two guys kiss until I was one of them. My friends from home are all country boys (no not rednecks), and those are actually the kind of people I feel most comfortable around. . .It's weird, because they all know I'm gay, but it's ok to them, and I've known them to pick out guys and go talk to them for me haha.

I think internalized homophobia is influenced on environmental factors. For example, living in rural Alabama, you don't tend to see many flamboyant gay couples making out in public. Maybe because I have only seen such things in movies (and it kinda freaked me out then), is a reason why I feel so tentative towards other gay people. . . .

1. yes, when referring to competitive cheerleading (my best friend cheers at my college), figure skating or gymnastics (I admire them for being so dedicated more than anything).

2. yes, all the time. You have to be mindful of others, so I'm not going to pour my sexuality down someone's throat who isn't comfortable with it....I understand where they're coming from generally....unless it's just vile hatred. But most people I've learned are just uneasy because it's unfamiliar.

3. relatively frequently, one time one of my friends came over and brought a very effiminate friend of his. Well, needless to say I decided to leave the room when he thought it was a good idea to play brittney spears and dance like a stripper....scary thought!

5. no, I completely advocate for equal rights, although I'm especially not a fan of the pride flag (rainbow colors honestly) or the pink triangles (kinda scary). But there's this group, Equality Alabama, and they use blue stickers with an equal sign, and that's fine.

6. perhaps....I couldn't tell you, but I would definitely consider it.

Answer 2

Consider the following questions:

1. Do you ever stop yourself from doing or saying certain things because someone might think you are gay or lesbian? What kinds of things?

No i say whatever comes to mind

2. Do you ever intentionally do or say things so that people will think you're not gay/lesbian? What kinds of things?

nope again i have made out with other girls before and am damn proud!

3. How often do you cringe away from people who act or appear to be gay or lesbian?

Never they can be way cool

4. Do you steer clear of people who put gay advocacy bumper stickers on their cars?

Nope

5. Do you protest when gay people show mild affection in public?

No its cute seeing to girls/guys all in love

6. If you had the opportunity to become 100% heterosexual, would you take it?

well i consider myself pretty hetero but i wouldn't wanna be anything that im not already so i say no im good with the 75% that i am

Answer 3

1. No, If people think I'm gay, that's okay with me. I've been accused of it lots of times and I don't take the time to correct them.

2. No, just for fun,sometimes I say things that make people think that I am although I'm not.

3. Not often. I have a hard time with those "Queen" pageant shows where the men dress like very absurd women. It feels like a parody on women...like they are making fun of women or something. I don't understand that and walk by without speaking.

4. No I don't avoid people with gay styled bumper stickers.

5. I'm just as likely to inwardly protest if straights show too much public display of affection also. I don't like to see anyone making out in public too much but love to see all people holding hands or hugging.

6. 100% Heterosexual...I'm not sure what that is. Is that like a unicorn or something? Not sure I've ever met one. I might not mind if I could see a good example.
I don't think I've ever met a 100% anything...nobody's perfect.

Answer 4

1. No.

2. Hell no.

3. Never.

4. No.

5. I'm an equal opportunity Ewwwwwwwer of both Gay and Straight "affection".

6. No. I would have to be the girl, and I wanna be a Real Girl...Maybe in another life time.

Answer 5

1: When I used to work in an office setting, I used to stop myself from saying "Partner" and replaced it with "roommate." Granted, I wouldn't call that "internalized homophobia" but moreover self-perservation or in that case job-preservation. That was before my state had employment protections for the GLBT community...but I don't work in an office setting anymore either.

2: Nope, not that I can recall. I don't try to pretend to be straight, but I just don't call attention to my being gay.

3: Never, that doesn't bother me at all.

4: Nope, not at all.

5: Nope, not at all.

6: No way! BTDT...got a teenage son to prove it!

Answer 6

No--I don't think that I have any internalized homophobia. The ONLY time I will pretend that I am not gay is when I feel that my safety is jeopardized by being gay(as in a foreign country).

Answer 7

1) Not because of what people might think. Only because I fall into the BQ category.

2) No

3) Never ... I gravitate towards them

4) No

5) No

6) That's what I've been all my life and it has been fine. But there's something else I desire too.

Answer 8

i only stop saying stuff sometimes cuz i get tired of trying to explainit to haters. i sometimes intentionally leave out details, though. like saying "i like girls! of course!" but i don't mention "but i love guys too!". when i see people PDA i laugh histerically and get all over excited, but im usually the one doing it! and (insert profanity here) that, i would never ever ever! want to be straight again! that was awful!