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As I smile and laugh, I cry in my heart…Everything seems okay, and everything is fine…the world might be a sunny, happy day…but its always misery, and melancholy skies…A laugh, a kiss…all just temporary happiness….a release of how depressing life truly is…for I miss him, and I love him…I would give my life, just to be with him once more…I might smile, and be flirting with every hot guy…but inside, I'm dying…for I have so much regret, all the cheerful laughter and peppiness in the world, can't relieve me from the emotions I'm feeling now…Sadness, misery, pain, regret…just to name a few….For my only release from this world…is cutting…to feel pain…to slowly die…Goodbye…I'll miss you…

sooo, umm...yea im 11...how is it? srri im not that good at writing
btw, dont critisize how the puncuation is...ect....
just the idea..thx!

2007-03-23 18:22:25 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities Philosophy

5 answers

You're 11?? I know you think your life is horribly tragic but you are WAY too young to be moping over a guy. Trust me, EVERYBODY feels that way about their first puppy love -- it's hormones, not reality. You've got lots of years of life left to deal with emotional conflicts -- it's not worth letting yourself be miserable now. Take advantage of being a kid/young teen while you can -- there is plenty in life to be happy about.

Find something positive to do besides writing self-pitying weepy "poems" about yourself. And if you really are "cutting" yourself you need to talk to a parent or counselor before that becomes a really dangerous habit.

So, the truth is that your "idea" is really really BAD.

2007-03-23 18:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by c_kayak_fun 7 · 0 0

I hope this isn't based on personal experience. To be 11 years old & already feel this troubled?!

Keep writing. It's good therapy. But talk to someone if this has anything to do with your own life.

Love yourself. Embrace your emotions but don't let them destroy you. Your life is valuable. Take care of yourself. Be happy.

Emotions seem so dramatic when you're young. Everything feels like the end of the world. When you're that young, you can't even understand what real love is yet. Whoever the guy is, he's not worth it.

Use more vivid details & imagery in your writing. Paint a picture for the reader. Read a lot of poetry & you'll start to appreciate good poetry & develop your own style.

For 11 years old, it's amazing but very dark, disturbing!

Be happy! You're too young to be so sad.

2007-03-23 18:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by amp 6 · 1 0

i like your lyricisim
i like your stream of conciousness
i like the liquidity

BUT at 11 u should really focus on poetic structure learn the sonnet, the ballade, the ode, the alexadrin....learn about alliterations and assonance and alternance and embjambments....learn about verse and meter (the basics will make your nice work AMAZING!)

i would hate to say to u what people told me
"you are too young to be a poet"
"you are too young to experience true passion"
"you are too young to interprete struggle and strife"

though i hate the fact people can say that i slightly agree

not all poetry is supposed to be dark and sombre.....poetry can be observational and sensual

do yourself a favor by a notebook and suspend your emotions....

DON'T THINK

JUST FEEL

TOUCH

LISTEN

SEE

TASTE

SMELL

ALLOW YOUR SENSES TO TAKE OVER AND LET THEM TAKE OVER THE PEN (or pencil)

develop your talent you really do have talent....i would hate to see you drift into abysmal emo culture

live life child! you're 11 u don't have time to feel pain or sorrow :)

finally listen to sarah mclachlan, alanis morisette, dido, fiona apple, and jewel

everything they created in the nineties is breath-takingly beautiful and resonante

2007-03-23 18:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by xenon 5 · 0 0

i think you rely too much on emtotion, espeicaliy love.

love dies and is always temorary, and until you realize this you wll be condemed to misery asking why. realize that love is temorary. but even then love can still be felt and when it ends dont dwell on what was but try to look for a new love. and repeat the process til you die. love the love itself not the person you feel love for.

2007-03-23 18:28:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself. What a sick trend to follow...

2007-03-23 18:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by Zoinks 3 · 2 0

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