ive been with my wife for seven years the night before my wedding i went out and nothing happened i was at a yard party ever since then shes had not really beleaved me i she thinks i cheated. i understand what she is saying and how she feels but now its hurting our marriage its about to end and thats such a waste ive tried every thing to prove it to her i love her very much and ive always been faithful. its over nothing nothing but whats in her head. we really was in love before that night.
2007-03-23 18:14:58 · 10 answers · asked by feller 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Take her to a counselor you need a middle man, if you can't afford a counselor get an unbiased person to help you make her understand, someone who is fair & impartial,probably a man or else she might think you are sleeping with them. She has a problem or she is just using that as an excuse to get out of your marriage. Counseling is your best bet.
2007-03-23 18:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by thepeacelover01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Search for "Desiderata". Maybe you cheated on your wife. Maybe she cheated on you. Neither of you can EVER prove otherwise. Thats why the most important things in a relationship are trust and respect. You have to trust your spouse in the times you cant see them, and respect them when they arent there to see you. The harsh reality is that your marriage started in distrust. Therein lies the REAL problem.
There are a myriad of psychological and other implications stemming from the fact that a woman refuses to trust you after 7 years. She could be dishonest about her recent or distant past. She could be too emotionally damaged to stay in a relationship (maybe from things you have done or even her exes or even things her parents did to each other).
Marriage is like buying a new yatch. Do what you can to buy the best boat, then trust it to bring those warm experiences tilll the day it sinks in a hurricane. Find someone who is willing to cruise with you for the joy of the journey. Enjoy it EVERY DAY. Isnt that why you got it into it? Along the way you will patch leaks if you have to, but remember that you shouldnt buy a new boat with leaks in it. It will probably get worst. Most importantly, when the boat is sinking, grab a lifevest and hold onto the best memories...not the boat.
If she isnt willing to see the effect that her distrust has had on your journey as a couple, then my advice to you is to let her go. But make it clear that trust is the issue. There is NO absolute "proof of fidelity" in a healthy relationship, so those in search of it search in vain. If she cant trust then it really is her own weakness sinking that ship.
If you have been faithful for seven years you deserve a spouse who trusts you. Arguably, this should apply EVEN if you cheated the night BEFORE marriage and even moreso if you didnt.
Listen to "lost one" by Jay-z. Cry about your loss if you have to and then say Lost WON. Lose some to win some.
2007-03-23 20:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by stingjam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 13 years old and hope this helps i dunno much about marrige.......but this is what i think
well if u have been with her 4. 7 years and she is still bothering u about this there is a prob. mayb she wants a divorce and using that as an excuse(sp) just try talking 2 her and let her know if she has a desire 4 some1 else let u know cuz u dont want 2 b with some1 like that... hope that help and tell her u luv her every day and chrerish the time that u guys have 2gether and take it 4 granit every moment of ur marrige do the best u can 2 work everyting out
xoxox hope that helps
luv u much
2007-03-23 18:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by alexa c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her something like this (as below)... verbally... or you can write her a love note... (to avoid anger thrown at each other in the face during face-to-face confrontation):
"Dear, I love you so much and it hurts me to see worry over nothing. I've always been faithful to you. I can't help being angry over something you thought I did. I did nothing. I've kept myself for you and just you. You've been always in my mind before, during & after marriage. It pains me to see our marriage going down the drain all because of a big understanding of the pre-wedding night. If you still love me, trust me on this & let's make it work for the sake of us. Let's not waste it. I never thought of cheating you. It hurts me to see you hurt, dear. How would I do such thing to hurt you? I'll get hurt too. I love you. Always have. Always will be."
You may need extra help to convince her nothing has happened.
The key is, use constructive assuring words to build up the trust, the love & relaionship back. Instead of using negative angry words that will tear down the marriage.
Withhold your anger, if you can. Keep cool & keep the communication under control. Be aware of that she's angry too. And women tend to be emotional over it & throw tentrums till she get over & forget about it (but not entirely) in time.
There may be certain things you did that make her suspicious & wary that you cheat on her. E.g. Looking at girls here & there make her heart beat tremendously & cautious about her position in your heart. She could be suffering low self-esteem & need your assurances & affection till she recover to her normal self where you've loved her in the first place.
2007-03-23 18:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by Queenie Tay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried to do everything to prove it to her maybe she is just playing little miss immature and just making that as an excuse to end the marriage. Maybe it is her who is the real cheater. Hey they always say "the accuser is the cheater". I am sorry if that came off a little harsh but I wish you luck
2007-03-23 18:20:26 · answer #5 · answered by mother of 3 angels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has issues if she is still obsessing over this 7 years later. She is cheating you of a fulfilled marriage with these thoughts. She needs some help or she is going to destroy your marriage.
Good luck!
2007-03-23 18:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there could be other reason why she is believing you though.. if you are positive that you are already showing her all the best that you could, that you really love her and that you are telling the truth but she won't just believe in you, then I guess there could be other reason for that... not only that she is trusting you and don't believe in you...
try to ask and find out more with what her real reason behind it...
2007-03-23 18:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by jami... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and tell her everything that you are feeling, and EVERYTHING that happened that night. let her know that if you cheated on her then you wouldnt be with her now, and why woudl you throw everything away for her. honestly, there is nothing you can say.. sometimes.. you got to prove things.
2007-03-23 18:18:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever thing maybe she is hidding something and trying to turn the tables on you b/c she is guilty of cheating on you and she cant live with her self.lol
2007-03-23 18:20:04 · answer #9 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U BETTER DO SOMETHING SOUND LIKE SHE DOING SOMETHING TOO IT HAPPEN SO GET OVER IT WHY THE PAST NOW DOES SHE REALLY LOVE YOU COME ON WAKE UP SHE NEED TO FORGIVE YOU LET IT GO..LOVE IS FORGIVING ..SMELL THE ROSES
2007-03-23 18:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋