I need advice on this, i met this woman thru my friend.. she's 27 and married. And not forget to mention, i am only 22. We knew each other just for 3 months.. and the friendship has became more than that.. and now we are just so stucked with each other. So much in love. The sparks are just so wild and crazy. I admitted i never fell this strong and has so much desire and passion for someone before. The feeling is mutual as fo her. She even said she loves me more than she loves her hubby. But the problem is.. i can take it in the beginning.. but day by day i found myself falling deeper and deeper.. and i cant take it that the reality is she's sharing her nights with another guy. That hurts. I asked her to leave him, but she said it's not an easy thing to do because that involves her family and her hubby's family. She said she loves me but she's stucked and she doesn't know what to do. I tried to forget her. She did too. But we couldn't. what should i do ? should i wait for her? or ?
2007-03-23 17:28:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
okay have i not mentioned that i actually have a girlfriend too. but we are in long distance, shes in moscow furthering her studies but will be back soon. U guys asked me to find a single girl, i did. all my exes are singles but i never felt as strong as i feel for this married woman. Even my girlfriend cant make me feel like how the wife made me. She's just one of a kind. She really knows how to treat me. Im sorry to say this but ive a strong feeling that we are meant to be.. there has been so many amazing unexplained things happening to us and we are so clueless about that.. all of the things that have been happening are all leading to something like "destiny and fate". Its impossible for us to forget each other because i knew it she's the one. I could get any single girls i want with just a pinch of salt, but i dont feel anything for them. u just wont understand until ure in my shoes. it's completely crazy.
2007-03-23 17:48:54 · update #1
Hey:
Well donot worry about the other losers answers about"the husband will feel it more","shes gonna do the same" or"what goes around comes around".
If a woman is in this situtation I am sure she must have some reason to want to be inlove.
You see u r single and has nothing to lose she still has to be certain that she is not leaving the grave and going to the ghost!
If you love her as you say,you will give her time and wait for her.
Love doesnot have race,religion,distance nor martial status!
Goodluck and I hope you make the right decision.Love is never wrong!
2007-03-23 21:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know people do fall in love and there's got to be something wrong with the marriage if she's doing this. She loves her husband and she loves you no doubt about it and she is in a bigger situation then you are she's married your not and it's easy for you to say leave him but in reality it'll be a big mess both sides of the family will be affected by it even though she has a mind of her own and is an adult but for some reason family gets involve a little to much an make things harder but they all mean well.Does her husband suspect anything?because the worst thing about it is if she gets caught she looses in allot. Take care of her and don't let her get busted if you love her you would. I don't encourage this
in any way but let's face it you know way deep inside you want her to get caught to jump right into your arms but that's not a smart thing to do. Let her come up with a decision but never push her I'm sure you love her and that's the scary thing about it because there's always one getting hurt at the end. But what can you do if the feelings are strong and so real. I would tell you to meet other women but you have your mind and heart set on her, I can tell you to forget the whole thing and let her live her life with her husband but because the feelings are so strong you would need therapy and so would she. this is scary did she tell you she was married from the very beginning? cause if she did then you know what your were getting yourself into. She might be feeling the worst and paralyzed by the whole thing give her a break but if you do she might even go through a slight depression if she don't hear from you. There has been cases where women prefer their lovers over their husbands but because they were so scared to leave their husbands they go into depression and can't focus clearly. It's bad and You need to really talk with her to see what she wants because she can't be doing this to her husband either and both come with a conclusion and leave it at that. It's either her feeling's in the line or making every one else happy It's really her call. you guy's did move quick into this it's only been three mon. and the feelings are deep Wow
You guy's tried breaking it off and it didn't work. you know it can also be a inf-actuation that's thrilling her to know it's with someone different can be a challenge for her.She might just like the excitement and not so much the relationship. time will tell but it wont be comfortable. But in the mean time you got to go out and meet other women and get to know them give them a try and maybe you see what's really in side your heart.
What she might be feeling is lust and not love and it may be a bit challenging for you as well to know there's some one else think about it.
Good luck!
2007-03-23 18:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by amores 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't have kids. She should either leave him, or you should walk. You have the opportunity to get over her. You are falling deeper and deeper each day.
This is why I no longer believe people should be allowed to get married so young.
If she is not going to leave her husband, and you love her, the right thing to do by her is to leave. That would show your true love. That would force her to make a decision.
She cannot live her life for her family, or her husbands family. She has to be happy.
Do not be the 3rd wheel. It is the outsider in these relationships that always comes out worst.
You are young. It will hurt for a while, but you will find someone you can be happy with. If this girl stays, she will be miserable forever knowing that deep down she can love someone more than the person she is with. By leaving her, you force her to make the decision. There is nothing more you can do.
Good on you for seeking advice. Don't let people put you down for been with a married women. It is her decision to be with you.
2007-03-23 17:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ang H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is very likely that the two of you are in love but you have to face the facts - the timing is wrong. Period. You can wait for her if you like, but do not touch her - please do not ruin the sanctity of someone else's marriage. It is also bad that you would move in on another man's woman like that - think about it. What if you were the guy married to this woman - would you want some other guy moving in on her? Don't be selfish - let it go. If it is meant to be, then it will be when the time IS RIGHT.
Good luck to you.
2007-03-23 17:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by lanibear55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a life with another man. She got a little bored with the every day mundane stuff in her life and is having a fling with a willing partner. She's told you it would be too difficult to leave her husband because of their families. She's never, ever going to leave him. I don't doubt that she has feelings for you, but she has obviously chosen to stay with him and the life they've made. She doesn't want to start over with a 22 year old.
You're both caught up in the emotion of young lust. I can guarantee you, though, that eventually she will also get tired of deceiving her husband (and indirectly her family), and you will be left by the wayside. She does know what to do. She is staying with him. She told you that.
One of you is going to have to be the strong one and walk away from the situation. Believe me, although you enjoy the time and sex with her, someday that will not be enough for you. You've learned about love and lust and many other things with her. But if you continue to pine over a woman who has decided she will not leave her husband, you are wasting the precious time. You will ALWAYS come second (or third or fourth, if you count their familes; and once there are children you will be even lower on her priority list). You deserve better. You deserve to have a woman who will spend the nights with you, and who will build a beautiful life with you.
And one more thought...if she leaves her husband for you, what will stop her from leaving you when she's once again feeling restless?
There's someone else out there who deserves you and will love you, and who will put you first in her life. You need to walk away.
*******As for your additional comments, the thrill of the chase is often better than the actual catch. The forbidden is very often enticing and stimulating. Your situation isn't anything special; it happens every single day to many more people than you might think. I've been in your shoes in my lifetime, and I can tell you that she's not going to leave her husband for you. Saying it will be too difficult because of her and her husband's families is her excuse. She doesn't want to change the life she has. And she won't, as long as you're willing to go along with it as an accessory in her life, but never being acknowledged as someone she cares about. You need to grow up, and at least be man enough to tell your 'gf' that you're cheating on her and she deserves better.
2007-03-23 17:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's lust. Back off, she's married! If she would cheat on him she will cheat on you and I hate to tell you but if she won't leave him then you are just being strung along. Wake up, and find someone who is single, has morals and won't cheat regardless of "feelings". I promise it's just lust. It will fade. To do it, you have to completely stop talking to her and that takes a lot of will power. You don't want someone like her.
2007-03-23 17:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by bridgey1128 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To her you're a play toy. Face it, she's not going to leave her husband, nor leave him for you. She's leading you on, and maybe even that's to make her husband jealous and he will get angry at you and not her (misplaced anger) and then you will be in trouble. Face it that you are a home wrecker, and, that you have no right to ask her to leave her husband, nor do you have any right to even make love to her since she's already married. Find yourself a single girl and leave this married woman. She's already told you "no". In my book she's not a good woman. She's cheating and actually trying to ruin two men at once. I suggest you get counseling. Replacing her with a new single female would be your best bet, with one who would respect and truly love you.
2007-03-23 17:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, do not wait for her. From what I've seen from others, people rarely leave their spouses for their lovers. My advice is to cut all ties with her and move on. Find someone single to fall in love with and you won't have to worry about sharing them with anyone. Good luck.
2007-03-23 17:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mary Jane 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude. I'm a victim of adultery to someone just like you - a family friend ripped my family apart. Walk away...anyone willing to commit adultery isn't the kind of person you want to be with. Destroying a family should be a crime. Remember...the wrath of a victimized husband can be severe. Dude, walk away...
The Hubby...
2007-03-23 17:35:53 · answer #9 · answered by Big_Daddy_Vez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should've never happened.
People are going to feel great pain from this.
The ball is rolling now..control it and stop this.
Note:
I'm married and had many chances to get myself in a mess like this. I chose to stay faithful to my sweetheart. I love him too much to yank his heart out of his chest.
2007-03-23 17:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by Bonnie Lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋