About 6 months ago I found out that the bank account that I had so diligently added to while working was gone. I confronted my husband and he admitted he used it all to buy drugs. Believe it or not, my first question was to ask if he needed help to get off the drugs, but he said no. (I believe I asked that first because I am a recovering addict now for 15 years.) However, this has happened 2 more times and now I am disabled. We always had the best credit scores and now we have to juggle bills. We have a huge plumbing job that must be done and there is no longer "that bank account." I don't know what to do. Even if I wanted to, I can't make him leave. I count on his paychecks since I don't work. I feel as if I am trapped.
2007-03-23 17:08:11 · 8 answers · asked by sandy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is AA and ALONON —the later to help the families deal with the traps set by alcoholics. There is a Narcotics Anonymous and I think a support group for families also. If not ALINON will help you learn how to get out of this trap. You will go down the drain with a drug abuser and you know this from your own experience. Help is available! Best of luck!..
2007-03-23 17:19:08 · answer #1 · answered by DrB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You as a recovering addict know that there is nothing you can do for his problem until he wants help. You should also know that this is his problem and until he gets help he will only bring you down; if his addiction progresses and you stay with him then plumbing will be the least of your worries.
If he is draining the savings, I have to wonder how much of his paycheck is he contributing to the house. How long before he no longer contributes and uses his income for his addiction? How long before he loses his job and becomes a non functional addict?
It seems that if he is not truly ready for treatment and recovery that your situation will only worsen by staying in the situation. You should evaluate your options. Many of us say that we have no options because the options available to us are not favorable. You should not deal with the situation and continue to live this way because it is difficult to leave; it will only become more difficult.
I am not saying that you have to pack your bags tonight and go, I just think you should at the least develop a plan to establish yourself on your own.
2007-03-24 00:35:54 · answer #2 · answered by Sue S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is it you are trying to believe him about? that he is drug addicted? stole your money? or that he "doesn't need help"? you should know from your own experience that that is not true..
i feel badly for you because it sounds so bleak. but you know that being in this codependant relationship is not going to just get better.
i also don't know why you can't work, so i don't know how to answer that.
somehow you need to get him to replace your money! so you can get healthy and get him out of your life.
every day you make a choice..do you want this to be your life?
2007-03-24 00:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by mariah c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too am a recovering addict and I know how hard it is. It seems to me that you need to get a job so that you can kick his *** out. He isnt worth it. Tell him to get help and if he says no then tell him goodbye.
2007-03-24 00:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by Lexi's mommy had twins! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i glad that you are doing good. but you need to do what is
right for you. he has a problem and the longer you allow this
the harder it will be for you. if the bank acct is in your name
then take it out, especially since he taking the money to buy
drugs. that not good for any one. he need some help and
you need to see that this does not affect you any longer.
2007-03-24 00:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You may be disabled but that doesn't mean you have to put up with him. Get a roommate.
2007-03-24 00:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by Peggy Pirate 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Solve your plumbing and drug problem. Flush the bum down the toilet with his drugs --- remember to double flush.
2007-03-24 00:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by radar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It think it's time to move on.
2007-03-24 00:13:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋