now he married me and she still wants to control him and he falls for everything she does but when i get up set he tells me its all about me and how he love me and not her but check this out i told hom lets move out of state and now he tells me he cant because thats a promise they made to each other that they wouldnt move out of state so that the kid would be close to both of them so my question where do i stand ?his son cant come over because she refuses and he doesnt spend the night and my husband only see his son when he goes to her house and stays there for a while he visits with his son but i not know what to do because half of the time he tells me that it is all about me and him but we dont do anything i think the relationship is over but i cant let go because i love him and i think if i leave him its going to be a mistake but what do you think ?remeber he llives with me but he doesn't want to move out of state and i cant take any more of the city life what do i do?
2007-03-23 16:59:20 · 14 answers · asked by aracelis301 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, that's what happens when it doesn't work out and you have kids. She seems like she enjoys the control and he just wants to be near his kids. Really, shame on her. If there wasn't a past issue, he should be able to get more visitation rights. He is stuck between his kids and his new love. It's baggage that you have to be willing to deal with, with him. I wish you well!
2007-03-23 17:05:03 · answer #1 · answered by treasureyourself 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just deal with it. It is what it is. So, the son can't come to your house... meet him at a park or at the mall. You need to be as nice as you can because that boy will always be a part of his life. So, you want to move out of the city but can't move out of the state? Whats the problem? Get out your local map and find somewhere else in the state... that's not a city to live in. You said you think the relationship may be over, well, make sure you don't get pregnant by the guy or else there will just be more baby mama drama!
2007-03-26 12:49:04 · answer #2 · answered by guru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband concept with the little head particularly of the vast one and is now figuring out to purchase his laps in judgment. optimistically he's no longer putting each and all of the being pregnant blame on the mama. he's to blame as properly. He ought to have recognize greater advantageous than to have unprotected intercourse and not placed each and all of the secure practices on the girl doorstep. Why would not your husband record for finished custody of the youngster. that is obtrusive that he cares approximately his daughter and so do you. The mama is performing like a spoiled college woman particularly of a mature mom.You and your husband ought to do the superb suited component and look after that youngster. If she is prepared to drop the youngster of for you the two to look after than she ought to have not have been given any concern having him named by way of fact the father. Is he paying the mummy help a week? If no longer why. that is his accountability and could be for an exceptionally long term. each so often women will attempt to apply a baby to hold a guy. How do you assert, stupid! As long you and your husband are doing the superb suited component with regard to the two the youngsters and are chuffed it is going to no longer remember what she says or does.
2016-10-01 09:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a very deep situation. I feel for you because it does make you feel like second. But there is something to say about him keeping his word if he is that kind of a man. But, he should make a stand and choose to create the life that would work for you and him.
If you don;t have children I would say move on without him. This will ALWAYS be an issue and it will not change unless he makes a stand. Now you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do or are not ready to do , you can only change YOU.
2007-03-23 17:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by pookiepoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you're putting up with it. He has rights as the boys father. If he wanted to he could go to court to get visitation. He plays by her rules because he wants to. I definitely think that moving out of state would be a very bad idea. Yes, you would have him all to yourself, but what about his son. He needs a father. You shouldn't try to make him choose. I'm sure you knew he had a son when you met him. I think you should help him to go to court to get visitation, that way he doesn't have to go alone to her house to see his son anymore. If he doesn't want to, then there may be something else going on.
2007-03-23 17:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry too much. The day our son was born my (now husband, not at the time) spent the day with his ex and kids. It hurt soooooo bad. His ex would always deny him legal visitation with his kids. Now she found somebody else and moved out of state. For a long time when ever his ex got dumped by her current man she would call him. Just remember she is his ex you are the one he wants to be with. Be patient with him if you try to come between him and his kids you will lose.
2007-03-23 19:57:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with him he should stay around to check his little man, that boy needs him, If you trust him you can move out of the city not state, and let him come over once for weekends, if he loves you as he claims, he will stick around.
2007-03-23 17:06:01 · answer #7 · answered by Robots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has control because he allows it.he has legal rights i assume he was smart enough to get a paternity test if not he better get one because you never know.if he is the daddy he has the right to have scheduled visitation in his own home he does not have to spend time with her.she is using this to keep a hold on him he is stupid to fall for it.i guess he has to decide what is more important a promise he made to an ex girlfriend or his wife? either get him to stand up and act like a man and quit kissing her *** or pack your stuff and leave unless you like sloppy seconds! good luck.
2007-03-23 17:57:35 · answer #8 · answered by dixie58 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy, you should have thought of all this before you married this guy-this whole thing sounds like a joke to me-I don't date guys with kids- there are a few out there left, you know, it's not too late to get a divorce!!!
2007-03-24 03:37:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should not allow the ex wife or girlfriend to interfere with his new relationship and if she's using manipulation she's jealous of your man's new relationship. She's going to make life hell, but it's up to your man to tell her to get over it because he's married and his child's well being is more important than her misery.
2007-03-23 17:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋