We already went to court and the judge signed the agreement and NOW the ex wants stipulations added after the fact and I won't go for it. As far as I know, I should be able to proceed without her signatures. Any lawyers in Calif care to help with this? The marriage was 19 years and we have a 9 year old son. Right now its 80/20 her favor but after May I am going back to court to get full custody! Plus I am currently on Disability because of my back. Ideas? Help? Answers? Thanks
2007-03-23 16:53:55 · 10 answers · asked by antelopedad95843 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Theres more info I can add here. Again, the judge already signed the divorce agreement but now we need to finalize it is all and this is what she wants added, she want spousal support, to be decided by the judge, and 1/2 of any future 401K I may have. I told her she will need to go BACK to court and I can still get the divorce finalized without her signature. She has also claimed things to CPS which were unfounded. She also lives with her sister who pays more in rent and utilities. Right now there is NO child support because I am not at work. So until my pay goes to a certain level I dont pay. She has also tried to claim mental illness and sex addiction. Nice ex wife huh? She is upset cause I left her. Hey, after 19 years of mental and verbal abuse I've had enough! So this is more info which I hope will help the answers.
2007-03-23 17:22:42 · update #1
And there is NO court date since we have already been to court and had the agreement then. She is holding the papers hostage til she gets me to say I will give her spousal support and 1/2 my 401K. So I have the papers ready to go to the judge to sign to end the divorce but she wont sign them. Thats the issue here. We dont have to go back to court to get it done. We did all that already. She just wont sign to finalize it all.
2007-03-23 17:25:01 · update #2
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2007-03-30 02:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by jessehowell2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex doesn't show up for the next court date and the agreement is already signed, then you'll still get your divorce by default. HOWEVER, if you ex does show up and raises all sorts of new issues regarding the stipulations she now wants added in, be prepared to have this drag out until you are so sick of fighting you give in and she gets what she wants. I've seen this happen so many times it makes my head spin. People will tie up the court's time over who gets what because reality set in and they are finally starting to look further down the road and the original agreement won't work so they opt to change it before the divorce is granted. In a sense, it's smart to hash it out now. Otherwise you'll be back in court more times than you'd be able to count over really petty things.
And now is also the time to fight for custody of your child. Not in May honey. Once that final judgement of divorce is granted and placement is issued, no judge is going to touch that decision with a ten foot pole for another two years unless there are some MAJOR circumstances that have changed. And I can't stress "major" enough. That's just standard practice of law and your lawyer should have advised you of that when you stipulated placement of the child. I know you may not want to but deal with what you have to deal with now. Lay out all your cards, have her do the same and find out what the argument is really about. Get a mediator involved in you must, but come to some sort of agreement or the courts will do it for you and I guarantee you'll both be unhappy with what they decide.
I wish I had better news for you, but going in for a battle un-informed is certain death hon.
2007-03-23 17:09:02 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
won't it be difficult for you on disability to get full custody because usually disability benefits are low income. Anyway, you didn't say what her stipulations were so it's difficult to say, but an attorney (you wouldn't find one answering Q&A, you'd have to go see one, but, it's always good to have an attorney in any divorce that involves children anyway) would stand up for you and discuss with the other attorney and come to some understanding between the both of you. But, of course you'd have to pay the attorney, and they don't come cheap, and, your partner (for lack of a better name) if she sees you have an attorney and can fight the stipulations may try to add more stipulations to keep you paying. Seems to me though that since the judge signed the agreement that it's too late for your partner to add to that, is she doing that adding thru an attorney? When you go for a divorce usually, at least here in FL, the other person must agree first, and prior to the judge agreeing. So it seems to me your partner would have no leg to stand on....however, if there are children involved then a divorce and stipulations and visitations and more payments to the other partner can go on until that child is 18. You need to talk to an attorney.
2007-03-23 17:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my understanding, after a judge sign a decree such as a divorce, nothing can be changed or added. Are you sure that the imformation is coming from the courts and not from her. She can't go back and add to it, it's a done deal. Atleast that is they way it is in NC. You don't need her signature to get divorced. You went before a judge and he granted it. He gave her 30 days to answer and if she didn't say what she wanted then... to bad, too sad.
2007-03-31 16:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lawyers involved here - what is your lawyer's opinion? Is your question here because basically everyone, including your lawyer, says that this is fair and let's move forward?
Put aside the 'going for full custody' issue which I think is just vengeful reaction on your part. We are talking here about contracts. Contracts are the basis of everything, from buying a house to buying a car to writing a will. No one signs anything they don't agree with unless they are an absolute idiot.
Talk to your lawyer and accept the reality - you will have to work together to reword the contract and make it work for both of you. If it doesn't work for her, I wouldn't sign it if I were her, either!
Hey, you don't think if the shoe was on the other foot, you'd be yelling about having to sign something YOU didn't agree with?
2007-03-29 18:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out at below site. It is on all about divorce & child custody. It will definitely helps you out.
2007-03-30 07:25:32 · answer #6 · answered by Khushi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she does not appear on the court date then it
is considered un-contested and you will get your
divorce.
2007-03-23 17:19:49 · answer #7 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your attorney or if you don't have an attorney, go to the court & ask them.
2007-03-29 11:06:04 · answer #8 · answered by ilovepoison2820 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call your atty and have he/she call her atty and tell them what the deal is and tell him you are not budging on what she wants. but by all means call your atty if you had one. but i don't think theres anyway to make her sign them.
2007-03-30 20:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to cort with it then she might have to sighn the papers?!?!
2007-03-31 02:42:48 · answer #10 · answered by Lizzie(hannah) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋