Why do I keep losing jobs?

Question

I'm beginning to see a disturbing pattern emerge in
the jobs that I have worked -- any job, retail or
otherwise. I start a new job filled with energy and
enthusiasm, and work very, very hard (sometimes to the
point of physical exhaustion). By about the end of the
first week, however, and especially with retail and
sales jobs like food running, I begin to make hand-eye
coordination mistakes such as (for example) spilling
an entire 10+ gallon container of iced tea on the
floor as I take it to the elevator in the kitchen to
send downstairs. Or yesterday, when balancing three
plates on my right arm and hands (as they require), I
attempt to hand a woman her plate of grilled shrimp as
she also attempts to take it from me and it spills all
over her. These aren't mistakes I am doing because I
cannot physically hold a plate -- these are mistakes
that seem to happen when I begin to become exhausted
physically.

Just today and yesterday I tripped down
the stairs twice and fell hard on my hands carrying a
to-go container for a party downstairs.

And now I am beginning to notice (and also hear)
co-workers reactions to me. Virtually everyone there
has said at one time or another (not to me, but within
earshot) that I'm:

(a) "an (expletive) moron"
(b) "is he stupid or something?"
(c) "he's so weird!"
(d) "what's that guy's problem? is he retarded?"
(e) "god, I hate that (expletive)!"

These comments were made by several co-workers in the
past couple of days, including Barrett (a server),
Kelsie (a server), Hailey (a food runner), Aaron (a
chef) and even the owner, Chris, who remarked to a
female manager that "[I] can't believe I hired this
idiot!"

Can someone please just be honest with me and tell me
what it is about my personality that bothers people so
much?

I try very, very hard to do well in a job, but
also come across as being almost too hyper and
energetic. I am nervous whenever I start a new job and
want to do well, but I think this actually plays
against me and they can see that although I am trying
hard, I might be trying *too* hard to fit in. It also
doesn't help that sometimes I mumble when I speak and
the co-workers keep asking me to repeat what I said.

I've noticed that it generally doesn't matter if the
person is male or female -- I am pretty much disliked
by virtually everyone. I have heard their comments and
it really frustrates me. It makes me want to find
another job and never open my mouth ever again.

Also, in an effort to fit in with the people there, I
engage them in conversations or occasionally interject
comments into their conversations.

such as: "Oh, yeah,
I like to do that too." or "Hey, did I tell you about
the time I got a whooly worm fishhook caught in my
nose?" or "Yeah, my daughter likes that food, too."
Just comments to fit in and be normal, you know? Of
course I've never explained to them about my unborn
daughter and make it seem as though I really do have a
daughter. This is just to fit in. They aren't going to
flip through my records and actually see that I don't
have a daughter but an unborn daughter.

Any suggestions would be welcome. I am tired of losing
jobs when all I ever do is try to fit in and work
hard.
I haven't lost this one yet, but I can definitely see
it coming.

Answer 1

hey are you a conscientious person? (the kind that wants others to like them) well the one thing I have learned is that;get real IT only takes one person liking you and that's you. If you ever find everyone likes you and what you do then something is wrong. I feel you have energy, talent, and focus but your focus seems to be disrupted by others ranking of you. You start out great but subconsciously the body says, wait I can't be the greatest in everyone's eye nor everything you do for them so these little accidents happen as your minds way of saying the best is what you have but when you try to go beyond......work to please yourself and don't worry if you aren't the best to them I can assure you that if you are doing your best you are the best to somebody. I take this to heart because I am disabled and thought I had to push my limits but in doing so I messed up until one day I learned that limits are crossed not when they are pushed against but like Judo resistance met with force grows in strength.

Answer 2

Your employer wants someone to show up on time everyday. They want someone who is low maintenance, who does the job mostly correctly with good will and not too much talk. That is all they want. They do not want someone who appears to be making a gargantuan effort, who is perpetually nervous and uncomfortable, who is insecure and who talks at work even to the point of making up children.

You spent a long time coming up with your self-image and your feelings about yourself. You are not going to unlearn these tomorrow. You sound like someone who would enjoy having a therapist--assuming you clicked--though I understand that this is not always financially possible. I also wonder if you have ever taken any medication for anxiety. So much of what you're describing sounds like a result of faulty brain chemistry. If you could even get to a family doctor and describe your symptoms that would be a help.

Ok. Now you need to focus on performing each task and nothing else. It does not matter what anyone calls you. And if you are fired despite your best efforts, c'est la vis. How many different types of jobs have you tried? Not all jobs involve carrying stacks of breakable things. How about stocking grocery shelves? Give every job your best effort, but also try to look for jobs that you can truly enjoy. One of the best jobs I ever had was making sandwiches in a deli. Not best financially--but a good time.

You do seem to have some insight into yourself. Work with that in the mornings. At night, watch a movie or read a book and don't stress over this. And if you think that is impossible, start teaching yourself how to refocus on pleasant, positive things.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

I think you're just trying too hard. You need to stop trying to "fit in" and just be yourself.

There are personality tests you can take that will help you find a job that is more suited to your strengths.

It also wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional job counselor or job coach. Most counties have a division of employment office that have free job counseling.

And finally, you might have some kind of physical ailment that causes you to go at full speed and then crash.

Good luck and keep trying.

Answer 4

Work smarter and not harder. Do not force yourself to fit in, keep it courteous but business like. Maybe you need to use your mind more than your physical body. Everyone has their own unique personality and at the end we all fit in like a piece in a puzzle. You might need to change the type pf work that you perform. Analyze your strenghts, likes and find something that is of interest of you so that you can find enjoyment in your job.

Answer 5

Do you think you could have ADHD? Or perhaps some type of physical problem which makes you drop things? Talk to your doctor.
The only other thing I can think of is if you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself so that you lose your jobs. Something to ponder over!!

Answer 6

Join the Armed Forces. it'll boost your confidence, get you valuable experience in just about any field you want, teach you to speak loudly, and increase your endurance.

Answer 7

ditch all these long winded answers on here. take it from someone who works in retail;

SLOW DOWN!!!!

You're trying to do too much too fast too soon, and in the process you're causing a trail of destruction!!!!
Relax, think ahead, plan and SLOW DOWN!!!

good luck

Answer 8

dude, why dont you just write a book?