This is something that I have a problem. Unless you're a descendent of royality and your last name is associated to some type of legacy, I really don't think you should hyphenate your last name. To me, its like that you're scared to let go or something. Or by changing your last name is changing who you are. I know that this seems pity but this is one of the many things that irks the hell out of me about people.
How can marriage be a union (whole) and you have a hyphenated name. I know there's other factors that make up relationships; but if you agree to marry someone then you're united as one right?
2007-03-23 16:33:07 · 6 answers · asked by gloried 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It may irk the heck out of you but I almost got kicked out of college for non-compliance of class assignments. I was working for my second degree and knew all my professors from former classes. I got married over the summer and changed my name.
I was shocked when at mid-term I was given failing grades on all my classes and projects!
It seems, because my professors all knew me, they simply wrote in my maiden name and failed my married name! Administration didn't know this and put me on report for suspension.
I practically had to hire an attorney to get the mess cleaned up. The paperwork and requests from social security for records and tax papers proving my identity, plus copies of the checks I wrote for tuition were absolutely crazy-making. The college just would not admit they made the mistake, even though the professors sent in letters of clarification.
I ended up having to go hyphenated so the TA's could get the name and the grades straight.
In the end you have a good point, a marraige is a unit, it is a social contract. So what if men took their wife's last name? We always know the child's mother, right? And when a woman marries she is no longer the same person. And when children are added into the mix, she loses who she is because of all the demands on her time. Especially in today's society. Sorry, I will just have to irk away.
2007-03-31 15:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ding-Ding 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IMO, it is okay to keep you maiden name, but as a 2nd middle name, not hyphenated. Hyphenated names are often awkward for daily use. This makes others uncomfortable because if they say the name incorrectly, they sound stupid & if they use only one or the other, they will probably get bawled out by some feminazi. For example, my son's doc has a hyphenated name. She doesn't care if you use one or both names, but her secretary (who, oddly enough did not hyphenate) actually corrects you if you fail to use both names! She finally quit after I made a big fuss once - "Isn't that the same person? What are you talking about? Are you going to make the d***ned appt or not?" Personally, I kept both, no hyphen. Our children will have both names, but presumably the girls will drop mine when they marry. I will encourage them to keep their father's name & take their husband's as well. That being said, I also would find it perfectly acceptable for a couple to choose to each take the other's name, so they would be (for instance) Adam Smith Randolf & Karen Smith Randolf. I'd also see nothing wrong with both taking HER last name or choosing a new one altogether. I just think it is important to share a name...unity, loyalty, etc.
2007-03-23 16:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by Tom's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I take an opposite view as the hyphenated name does show the joining of two family lines into one new line.
Based on your analysis, the husband is afraid to let go of his family name as he is in fear he will give up part of his identity?
The simple truth is that in many cultures women simply became the property of men upon marriage. I truly like the Navajo tradition of showing the importance of both the mother's and father's lines of descent in naming a child.
2007-03-23 16:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by khrome_wind 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The union in marriage does not depend on a hyphenated name or not. It's a heartfelt phenomenon.
2007-03-23 16:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by l E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think a hyphenated name has anything to do with the kind of marriage you have.
2007-03-31 04:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you mustn't be an American. it is okay to hyphenate your call. that is okay to do particularly plenty something you prefer with your call in u . s . a . of america. yet whilst your subculture or faith has some form of regulations then you definately ought to ask those people extremely to get extra solutions from people who recognize.
2016-12-15 07:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by casco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋