How do you deal with a crazy bully at work?

Question

I work with a woman that finds fault and complains frequently. She yells. She curses. She tries to boss everyone around(and she is not in management).
If you say 'Hello' to her, she complains that you should say 'Good morning'; if you say 'Good morning', she complains that you are not minding your own business. She starts projects and then interupts others at work because she needs help. If the projects succeed, it is all due to her despite the ineptness of the help she received; if the projects fail, then she blames and criticizes eveyone. She accuses eveyone of being a racist.
Do not advise avoiding her- she comes and finds me. Do not advise seeking help from management-they are terrified she will sue for something/anything.

Answer 1

I would definitely speak with your manager to begin with. You have to start there. Otherwise, you can be accused of going around management. I would lay my cards on the table and let them know that this person’s actions (not the person herself) are affecting your productivity. Every business cares about productivity. They can't afford not to.

I would also not react when she tries to bait you. Sometimes people like this are depending on your negative reaction so you can self destruct and they can get ahead. If you don’t give them what they want, they may change their behavior. You might be surprised. They might even respect you for not giving into their attack.

Finally, if nothing works and management does not want to deal with the situation, you may have to look for a new job or at least another department so you can get away from her. Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm assuming she is a woman of color? Unfortunately, in situations where a minority is causing problems at work, it's difficult for HR or management to get involved because they're often too afraid of a lawsuit. The good news is, if there are enough valid complaints, and she is not doing her job properly, someone can be documenting this and the documentation will be proof for her reasons for getting fired. Keep telling management, and try to get coworkers to go to management as well.

Answer 3

KEEP A LOG OF EVERYTHING SHE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep notes on the TIME she does something obnoxious; and write down EVERYTHING you can remember her saying. Try to be as specific as possible.
DO NOT EVER BE WITH HER ALONE ANYWHERE!!!!!!
She sounds like the kind of FREAK that would CRY RAPE/HARRASSMENT!!!!!! And you DONT NEED THAT!!!
That actually just happened to a friend of mine that works in a school system. Thank God everyone knows she's a PSYCHO!!!!!! and didnt believe her.
I wouldnt tell her what you're doing!!!!!!
Also, YOU CAN REPORT THIS TO THE JOB SERVICE in your area. I would DO IT NOW so there is a BAD RECORD on file on her.

Answer 4

Look up Crucial Conversations.. they will walk you through the steps.

Basically you're either you ignore it or you step up and have an honest conversation. But you have to be careful how you approach it. It's important to site examples and explain the impacts. Don't go into it with accusations...

Take her aside to a private space and talk it out. I had a similar situation at work. I invited her out to lunch (I paid) and we talked through it. While we didn't walk away best friends, we have been able to work together and she stopped the rude behavior because she knew I was willing to call her on it. Sometimes thats all it takes.

Let her know you're concerned about you're working relationship and your goal is to improve it. Only do this if that is you're honest goal, if it isn't and you just want to vent it won't work.

Get her buy in before starting the conversation. Ask her permission. Something like, "I have been concerned about our working relationship and would like to further discuss." If she agrees.. Make it clear you want to partner with her to make it a success... she has to feel safe to talk to you. To do this you must establish a common goal (i.e. the success of the project or a comfortable working environment). Get her agreement on this.

Then go into your concerns... Like, yesterday in our meeting you raised your voice and cursed. I was very uncomfortable and felt like you weren't willing to hear my opinion. Or "yesterday when you directed me I was unconfortable. We have a peer working relationship and I want to patner with you. When you give me directives this undermines our working relationship."

It's important to state what you don't want. Use a don't/do statment. Like "I don't want you to think I don't value your opinion, I do want you to understand that when you do this it makes me feel..." Don't/do statements can be very powerful.

Now, she could come back and attack, or she could come up with something you aren't expecting. You'll have to judge your response based on that... If she goes into attack mode let her know that it is unacceptable and that you will not participate. You have to teach people how to treat you. If you let it continue and let her attack she will. If she attacks, stop the conversation and walk away. If she's willing to talk start asking questions, a simple trick is to repeat what they say..that leads the other person to expound.

It's important that you go into the conversation willing to hear her side and don't go into it with preconcevied notions. Like shes just evil and it won't get better. Keep an open mind and listen to what she has to say.

If all else fails... and you see no hope of resolution end it with "Let me be clear..." and state what you want.

Either way the conversation goes, stick up for yourself in the future. If she starts yelling in a meeting, respond in a very very quiet voice. If she has any kind of social cue recognition she'll see what you're calling out. If she curses in a meeting, make a joke about it, like "whoa, the four letter words are flying" sometimes simply acknowledging the inappropriate behavior goes a long way and sends a message without having to get confrontational.

Just a side note...don't touch on the racisim issue. That's a dangerous subject that has legal ramifications to it. Stick to the solid examples.

Answer 5

Give her a taste of her own medecine. Don't be afraid to hurt her feelings. Tell her all of the things you just said in this email. Be mean! Make sure she knows that she is unpleasent and nobody at the work likes her. If she shouts at you, shout back! Don't be afraid to hurt her feelings; she's hurting many other people's feelings, so why should her feelings be valued over yours? Good luck.

Answer 6

Be blunt and tell her to "F" off. While this may sound cruel, sometimes this is the only way to deal with some people. It is not the best advice, but maybe you just needed to hear it. Good luck however you deal with her.

Answer 7

Keep a record of her inappropriate behaviors. You should tell her that you are doing this. When you have a long enough list, take it to her supervisor. The management is responsible, whether they like it or not.

Answer 8

Sounds like you are trapped. These kind of people exist throughout the business world and there's really only one thing to do. Kill her. Do it cleverly, try not to get caught. Even if you do, you will have reduced the world of one worthless waste of air. Hire the Johnny Cochrane Law firm. All will be well.

Answer 9

This is a job for human relations. They need to talk to her about her abrasive personality. If someone is causing problems in the workplace, that is grounds for dismissal.

In the meantime, laugh at her. "Oh, Mary, you kill me. You are such a grouch. Lighten up."

Answer 10

YO, a woman like this seems like you need a divine intervention from God and God alone !!
I would pray heaven to come down, and either shoo her out, or shut her mouth...lol.
* hay, don't laugh, I've seen many miraculous things happen when one prays!!