Myhusband and I had been trying to conceive for about a year. We did conceive once, in July but had a miscarriage. I'm over the miscarriage and we are trying again. Thursday my husband's cousin had a baby and he wants to go and visit. I told him that I did not want to go but if he did, he could. Well tomorrow I am suppose to go with my husband and in laws to help them pick out a washer, and they said they wanted to go to the hospital and visit. What should I do??? I told my husband again that I didn't want to go, but he said that the doctor told us that we could have a baby not to worry about it that we will have one when its out time. But I still don't want to go, I'm happy and excited for them, but yet I feel maybe a little jealous not really jealous but I don't know. I can't talk with anybody else in my family because they don't know that we are trying to conceive.
Sorry so Long
Thanks in advance.
2007-03-23 16:08:45 · 8 answers · asked by Claudehopper 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
You said(I'm over the miscarriage ).No you are not and it is not a bad thing.You are not jealous at all.You are still hurting and dont want to see someone elses baby since you lost yours and that is understandable.But at the same time you must see other babys in life.When you are in public and someone has a newborn baby and starts to brag about what all their baby does you will not know how to respond if you dont try to be around other babies.I dont blame you for how you feel but I would make myself go see the baby.Never know if that baby will need you sometime in life.
2007-03-23 16:21:26 · answer #1 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just imagine if someone else was in your shoes you would want them to be happy with you. Jealously is a normal and acceptable feeling, but it is not fair to your family that you are punishing them for what you do not have (at the moment). It is hard, but fake happy until the happiness is real and you will be a happier and freer person for it. Your husband's cousin had a baby! You know more than most people what a big deal that is, considering how hard it is to conceive and how difficult pregnancy can be, so I think you can man up and show some love for your family who made it all the way through. This is probably one of the happiest times of their lives! Enjoy it with them, and congratulate them for it. You will want that when you have your babies.
2007-03-23 23:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to feel that way. I always imagined what people who were trying to have a baby but couldn't must be going through. I also felt awful because my ob/gyn was across the hall from the fertility clinic, and I was 20 when I had my daughter and looked about 16. You need to do what you are comfortable with. If you have been trying for a year, maybe you should go to the fertility specialist and try some fertility drugs. As far as the new baby, you might should go see her because nobody will understand why you don't, if they don't know your other problem. Good luck to you in the future, I hope everything turns out well.
2007-03-23 23:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by busy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The plaugue of jealousy hits us all in different areas. All sorts of thoughts go through your head, like whats wrong with me, why them , im better than them, The first step is really realizing that you are ok, that if the doctor has giving you the green light dont' worry you will have a child. Learn from this experience and grow stronger all things happen for a reason mabey God is trying to get your attention about something , don't know but look to him and as far as your friends go, you should try to conquer your jealousness but you can't do that right now don't beat yourself up . SOmetimes that takes time to do and its a battle expescially in your case. Just think of how you would feel in their shoes and know what you would want. Being supportive for them is never going to hurt you it will only help you and make u stronger as a mom in the future. Your husband can't see things from your side and dosn't fully understand what you are going through. I would talk to him in full detail and get it all out on the table and then I would really think about being there for support of that family once you do it you will feel better. BUt like i say this might not be the right time for you yet . But don't always use that as an excuess. YOU'll BE fine my dear Remeber God loves you and working on you and your family loves you as wll as your friends. Don't be ashamed to talk to your family and friends either sometimes you need support and help in times like this. Talking about this to somone else will help you BREAK THE JEALOUS MODE YOU HAVE . THINK ABOUT . DOn't be to hard on your self alot of other women go through what your going through . YOu don't know mabey your friends did as well think about that. Hope ive helped
2007-03-23 23:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by ot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but You should go and be happy that these people didn't have to go through what you had to go though. You should rejoice in the miracle of what God has done for them, when you start to be happy for the blessings of others then you too will be blessed. Go and love on that baby, and believe that yours is on the way.
Good luck and many blessing to you.
2007-03-23 23:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by Ama A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be hard seeing other newborns, and for some reason when it's amungst the family it always seem to bother more. But I say you should go. Your husband is right. Your time will come. Just have faith!
2007-03-23 23:14:37 · answer #6 · answered by dbestonegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're that not wanting to go, don't. I think your in-laws can pick out a washer without you. If you're going to stress that much, don't go.
2007-03-23 23:13:17 · answer #7 · answered by im_buz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the hospital and be happy..........if you have concieved
before no problem you will again and again.
Don't be selfish when your turn comes it will be great
and everyone will be there for you.
2007-03-23 23:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋