am I depressed? what can I do?

Question

So. I wouldn't call it depression, but I constantly find myself feeling really down in the dumps about the fact that no matter how hard I try, there is always someone better than me.

I guess it doesn't help that my best friend is a freaking genius, and no matter how hard I try, she always gets better grades than me because the stuff just comes naturally easy to her. For me it takes lots of studying and trying to understand. I know I sound like some competative freak, but seriously...I haven't ever been THE BEST at something. Believe me..I've tried really hard.

These thoughts are beginning to take over my life and I'm not sure what I should do.

Answer 1

You may want to seek professional help if it is interfering with your functioning.

You are also probably self prophesizing. You believe that your friend is inherently smarter than you are, and that becomes so. Let me tell you something; grades are not a measure of intelligence and don't ever believe that. Grades are a measure of memorized skills typically, and anyone of normal or above intelligence is capable of doing this. I have a very high IQ and I can tell you personally it didn't help me at all through college. I had to study just as much as everyone else getting high grades, i.e. hours a day :p There is no such thing as good grades coming naturally, what a load of donkey dung!

It seems to me like you just need a bit of motivation, something to really get the cranks turning. You're going through a negative thought tirade where everything is negative and that brings you down ever further. You've never been the best, and you've tried really hard...but what on earth is stopping you from being the best in the future? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there is no such thing as fate ;) The world is what you make of it. If you let it pass you by, then it will. However, if you seek some help for these kinds of things (there are some very easy and effective treatments), you will without a doubt live more happily and sucessfully.

Also, I would hold off on judging your self worth by how good you are at superficial things like school. Self worth is much more than that or a sport or anything. Don't objectify yourself. Instead, come to terms with self-actualization where you strive to be all that you can be. There is no sense wanting to be something you won't ever be, but telling yourself that you can't will only stop you from reaching your maximum potential.

I wish you the best of luck! Take care, and be proud of who you are. Reflect on things that you do have, and what you are good at. Always wanting more is rather selfish; at one point or another you have to settle with what you've been given, or you'll dig yourself a hole so deep it will destroy you ;p

Answer 2

I'll take it your young since you're still in school and it's normal at your age to want to be the best at what you do. Self esteem issues are common for teens and young adults. It's hard to take when you see your friends getting wonderful grades and you are not, especially when you try so hard. So at least give yourself credit for that. As long as you're trying, you're successful. In life, though, there will always be someone who can do something better than you. And me. And everybody! But being the best at something shouldn't be a measuring devise to guage whether you're a worthy person or not. Try and make a list of your good qualities. Are you nice, sincere, kind hearted, friendly, sympathetic and so on? These attributes are priceless and more important than your test scores. Eventually, though, you will find something that you're able to do better than someone else. You just need time to discover what that is. And it can be discovered later in life. But if your depression continues and you don't think you can reverse it, please see a school councilor or a psychologist/therapist. They can work through your feelings and show you how to raise your self-worth. Good luck!

Answer 3

I've felt that way too, but I've learn that no matter what, there's always gonna be someone better than you. That may not be much comfort, but it's the truth. I've never been the best at anything, but I try not to let it get me down and live life day by day, which is probably the best thing to do.

And if you want to get better grades, maybe you could ask your best friend to help you since you think she's so much "better" than you. Since being smart is a natural talent to your friend, try to find yours. If you do, you might not be the best, but at least you'll be one of the best.

Don't turn over to the dark side!

Answer 4

"There is always someone better than you?" Think deeply about that! Perhaps some of the things at which you are the "best" (I really don't care for comparisons) you're not even aware of. It isn't necessarily the "best of all worlds" to get better grades. & perhaps you might try to look at it this way--being BEST at anything, really isn't the point. To do YOUR best at anything is all that counts, bottom lline. It's so easy to be competitive, but is there truly anything constructive about it? I can only suggest that you get INSIDE yourself, as close as is possible to know yourself, & nothing else matters in the long run.

Answer 5

Not everybody is the "best" at something. You are comparingyourself to someone who may not have qualities you have. Life is not a competition, but a use of your qualities the best that you can,add to peoples life, be honest and hurt no one. You are hurting yourself by using arbitrary comparisions. You sound bright enough to know places where you can get help and see if this relationship is healthy and whether or not it is, you needprofessional help to see things realistically and to see what values really count. Good luck. If we want to we can always find someone better at something than we are. Talk to your family doctor and see what is recommended.

Answer 6

Very few people get to be the best at anything. It is mentally unhealthy to be continually comparing yourself with others better than you in something. Find something you are good at, and develop that area. Besides, you may be better than her at sport, or prettier, or live in a nicer home, and you may finish up with a better man, and a better career, but you won't, if you keep thinking as you have been. In future, when you find that you are comparing yourself unfavorably with others, say forcefully to yourself: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE!!!" You might want to use: "ruse, ploy, trick, game, or scam", instead of "tactic". Persist; eventually, you will reprogram yourself.

Answer 7

I've found that most people who get good at something at one point don't try to get good at it, and it just comes naturally. Then, when they subconciously trick themselves into thinking that they are really good at it, they start practicing it, and slowly get better and better by learning from other people all the tricks and tips.

Also, you are not depressed. Many people think like you. What you need to do is learn how to not let things bother you and be more positive towards life. The truth is that for some people, success is 90% confidence and 10% actually learning how to do it. It varies among different people, but to me it sounds like all you need is a genuine excitement in doing something for you to get good at it.

Answer 8

I am not sure being the best is so great. The higher your profile the more people take pot shots at you because of jealous or envy.

Maybe you need to expand your social group. I haven't found achievement to guarantee happiness. Take the pressure off yourself and do some fun things. Take up a hobby, whatever. Of course, you don't need to abandon your friend but quit comparing yourself to her.

Answer 9

Everyone lets themselves get down into the depths and no matter how beautiful you are you'll always see the blemishes in the mirror, i can promise you that your friend sees things in you that she thinks are awesome and admires. Thats just the way life works, you should notice the strengths of your friend and admire them, thats how people strive to get better, but there is no doubt that you have just as many of your own strengths, its just hard to see from the inside out;).

Answer 10

you need to experiment with things and figureout what your talents are. drawing? singing? dancing? athlete? designing clothes? modeling? if you get deiscuraged and dont try, then you'll never be good at anything. you friend may be good with books and things, but everyone is always better than someone at something, and vice versa. so just keep trying.