do you have to forgive everyone no matter what they did?

Question

ok i am not the most forgiving person, and im still holding a lot of grudges and have dislike for a lot of people, but my family seems to think you should forgive every one. some of these thing are really bad, but i see it all the time on tv people forgiving all these horrable things, am i just imature for not forgiving people?

Answer 1

are u immature for not forgiving everyone? i would answer no to that one u are just a normal human being.

forgiveness is a choice. in my experience i find that when i hate or can't forgive someone i let them rent space in my head for free. that means that is all i do is think about what they did to me and honestly it eats my lunch.

forgiveness is not easy and is a process. it isn't an overnight matter.

i had to learn to forgive my parents and family members for some bad things that happened to me as a child growing up. wasn't easy but it was possible.

do u have someone that u trust that u could talk to about this? if not i would suggest finding someone u could talk to about this.

Answer 2

No, I hold grudges all the time. But it takes the "bigger person" to forgive someone for doing something wrong. And I really should forgive people. You don't want to end up young and bitter (like my older sister), not the best thing. But, I think there's an extent at which you can forgive someone. Like movie forgiveness like "You killed my mother, but I'll have an affair with you anyway and fall in love with you even though I wanted to kill you," isn't real. Movies and TV are fake. My parents are the same way. They say "don't make such a big deal," but, I hold grudges like crazy. That's the only way I can figure out personality patterns in the person that I should watch out for. When you forgive, you forget. And I'm not reknowned for forgetting...

Answer 3

I have the same problem, actually. I have a hard time letting go of the crap the some people deal out. I don't think it's "immature" really, but it's not a good way to be. Holding onto anger and grudges doesn't actually do anything good. It just hurts you.

Since I have a hard time with the concept of forgiveness, I try to think in terms of acceptance. So, say jane is cruel to me, I accept that she's that way, but then it's up to me to decide if I will allow her near me. If I want Jane to remain in my life, then I have to forgive her -- just because to hold a grudge against someone active in my life would hurt *me*.

Hope that helps!

Answer 4

you must forgive them, but it doesn't mean you have to forget
w h a t they did. You just "consider the source" (the person)as they say, meaning you just think to yourself..ok, these people are rude, bad, wrong, immature or whatever and I am bigger and smarter than that and I'm going to forgive them bc of that. I wont F o r g e t the things said or done to me, but I will forgive them bc of who they are(the things stated before). you never have to talk to these kinds of people again, but if you are forced in a situation with them, (work or school projects, etc) then just be cordial and as silent as possible. They should "get it" and it might possibly make them feel a little bad, but it's not important if they feel bad or not. that is not the point.
Being the bigger, smarter and more mature person.
In the end, you win!...and you grow in many ways and thats a good thing.

Answer 5

Forgiving others is a hard thing to do, but in the end you will feel better about yourself in the end. Even if the people you forgive are not appreciative. Some things are too hard to forgive, but in time you may change your mind. It is not healthy to hold grudges, if you disagree with others, then just agree to disagree.

Answer 6

It's perfectly normal to hold grudges. I'd bet every single one of us do. It's all really about your personality. (although, in my opinion, you shouldn't hold grudges for very long about trivial things, such as accidentally bumping into you while walking around a corner or stupid things like that)

However, I always do try to forgive people, now, ever since I saw somethign where a lady's daughter had been killed by a drunk driver, but after the trial while they were walkign out of the court house, she looked him in the eye and /forgave him/. She didn't see the point hurting him more, since it would only cause him grief, and the past is behind us.

Answer 7

Nope. I totally undestand you hun. I'm a pretty forgiving person myself. But there have been so many things that I've had to put with in my life that it's hard to forget and it's even harder to NOT hold a damn grudge. I mean, the epitome of forgiveness in our time is Nelson Mandala. What an incredible guy! And in spite of everything he went through, I've never seen a trace of biterness. How does he do it? I don't know. I just wanted to tell you you're not alone and no you're definetely not immature.

Answer 8

Depends on what it is.I dont believe in being a perpetual doormat, and I think people should be held accountable for horrible things they do.Holding a grudge doesnt help you though.It just keeps turmoil stirred up every time you think of the person and/or the deed perpretrated on you by them.One other thing to consider is this: Look at it from GOD'S point of view.HE sees ALL of us as deserving of death and hell yet HE wants us to see where we are wrong and turn away from it, repent, apologize and do wahst right, instead of continuing in error and wrongdoing to our own destruction.

Answer 9

Its okay to forgive, but you should NEVER forget the past, always remember what that person did.


♥


I only give people 1, or 2 at the most, chances because after the 2nd chance and then they blow it, thats it. They're just abusing you.



♥Good Luck.♥

Answer 10

yes because God did and if u don't then u will be bother for not just forgive and move on to something that better . Learn to just distance people . Give them the respect but don't have a close realtionship