At first i wouldnt consider going out with him because i have been in a common law relationship for 6 years and have children. After about a week i decided coffee might be okay. I gave him a call and found he is married. This may sound bad but this is a relief to me. i am not looking for a long term thing. Oh and by the way my spouse and i have not even kissed in at least 2 years. we are together for child and financial reasons. Am i being crazy? Could this relationship with this new man stay just friends?
2007-03-23 14:45:48 · 26 answers · asked by lisalisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to clarify a couple of detail. I am not in a horrible relationship now we just dont love each other anymore. we get along fine in our current living arrangement. i even told him i may go out with someone else. As for the married man i am not looking for him to leave his wife or anything. if we as adults decide to have a fling that's all it would be.
2007-03-23 15:01:03 · update #1
sex is just sex to me
2007-03-23 15:02:22 · update #2
not the path to go. end your current relationship first, then go for it. the way you are acting now is clased as an affair! an a married man is a no no big time!
2007-03-23 14:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you are feeling lonely and hurt by your husband and the thought of this other man showing you some attention really Sparks you up...But there alot of people involved here, most importantly your children's. The other mans children, your husband and his wife. This can really cause more damage than do good.
I am a strong believer in if you do not want to be with someone be honest and up front. You have children you have to show more adult behavior (meaning) if you do not love him leave him and don't give the reason of the children or money be the reason you stayed and cheated....You want your children to happy and strong adults one day and you have to teach them how to do that. You are saying to your children it is OK to be unhappy, afraid and settle in there life.
I am not saying you do not have a right to be happy just saying you should do it the right way, move out or make him move out, then start a relationship with someone that will be able to give you what you deserve and I will promise you a married man will never be able to do that.
2007-03-23 22:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE CRAZY! You are in a committed relationship and have kids, vows or not. And so is he.
First, if you want out of the marriage then get out, shut that door, then begin another relationship. Second, he is married and out for fling, not friendship, or he would not have asked you out. And you know it would never stay a platonic thing, because you mentioned about the sex in your marriage.
Be smart, lady. Why would you want a man who is willing to cheat on his wife? If he would cheat on her, he would do the same eventually to you. Remember he probably thinks the grass is greener.
2007-03-23 21:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That logic of sex is just sex is VERY flawed.
Sex isn't just sex, it's an emotional connection, and if your having sex with a guy that's married that's just wrong, because you could end up breaking up that marriage, and ca you live with yourself knowing that you could cause that?
Sex was created by God to be kept in the bonds of marriage between a husband and wife, not before marriage or outside of marriage.
I think you need to get your priorities in line, and think of someone other than yourself.
2007-03-23 22:11:44 · answer #4 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take this 2 the bank.NOno HE IS MARRIED AND IT WILL AFFECT U IN A LONG RUN. common law went out long time ago in most states . dont get involved with anybody u work 4 or with u willbe hurt eventually . also if he is married and filling ur head with all this bull then whats he really like think about it. have u ever watched jerry springer show or been on it this is the kind of situations thatson there
2007-03-23 21:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by kyfixedit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to that question and the answer is no. you obviously want it to go someplace other than just friends or you wouldnt have volunteered the information about how you and your common law havent kissed in 2 years. If you want to have a sexual fling then have one but be prepared for the consequences.
2007-03-23 21:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry to say this, but you have waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy too much going on right now in your personal life. why on god's earth would you want to bring another load of horse pooh in your already messy life?
haven't you heard of this? NEVER DATE A CO-WORKER it's for a reason, 9 out of 10 it doesn't work. even if you 'only want to have a fling' it's not going to end up like that. think of all the consequences of this action. what is going to happen if and when he decides that he doesn't want to sleep with you anymore? then what? you are already starved for affection, this is not going to be a non-attached deal for you. what is going to happen when word gets around the office? and people start talking about you. what if your superiors find out? are you willing to loose your job for a fling at work? what if this guys starts spreading rumors about you? what is going to happen when YOUR husband finds out? oh, and let us not forget about the kids.
if you want to live a double life, do it with someone who lives in another city or state if possible. keep that crap away from your loved ones.
don't let desperation lead you into making a stupid mistake that you will regret.
did i mention what if his wife finds out and decides to teach you a lesson?
stop and think with your head...co-workers hitting on you should be seen as the anti-christ...
but, if you want more drama, i say go for it.
2007-03-23 22:08:20 · answer #7 · answered by la21unica 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Starting anything with anyone when you are married is wrong. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter (in that sense) that you "haven't kissed" in two years. If you are unhappy in your marriage, get out of it. If you two have made the decision to split, that is different. Feel free to date other people. It does not seem like that is the case though, you said "we have not kissed".
Anyway, like I said. If you are unhappy get out of the marriage. If you are happy then why are you thinking about another guy?
Good luck, have a great night.
Kristy
2007-03-23 21:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. K 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"we are together for child and financial reasons" Bullshit, if either one of you REALLY wanted out you'd be out and don't give that crap about staying together for the child as a reason either...kids know when their parents are miserable together and it makes THEM miserable because their parents are making THEM the exuse for not changing their own lives.
As for the coworker, he asked you out that doesn't mean he has any intentions of leaving his marriage. He is probably looking for someone he can use "on the side" and you seemed like a good target.
2007-03-23 21:52:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure youre crazy, I understand where you are coming from and see your issue with this, however I belive this is only a bad situation, you also dont want to be the blame for breaking up his marrige, even though Im sure theres other issues there. Im not so sure this could really be "just friends" especially if either one of you finds the other one attractive...................if you decide to go on with this PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!!!!! good luck!
2007-03-23 21:51:13 · answer #10 · answered by hairstyle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋