So I know a lot of people will think that I need to lighten up and that I don't own my boyfriend... but the thing is, if I don't feel comfortable with something, should I really just let it slide. The thought of someone that I am dating going to a strip club disgusts me.
I guess I will give some background on our relationship. We have been dating for 10 months, and lived together for 7. We recently both moved back into our parents homes for money reasons, and broke up for about a week because I felt like he was ditching me all the time (which he was.) Anyways I am about 9 months older than him. When I turned 18, I really wanted to go to a club, but never did because he didn't want me to. I actually went for the first time last weekend and only danced with my girlfriend. Plenty of cute guys asked me to dance but I said no. I feel like I am being so faithful. I barely even talk to other guys. Should I tell him it's either me or the strip club?
2007-03-23 14:38:25 · 18 answers · asked by alli8188 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I feel like I give and give to him and he doesn't do the same for me. I don't like it when he smokes pot. I don't like the fact that he smokes cigarettes. Does this make me too controlling?? I understand that I need to let my boyfriend live his own life but I just don't like the whole sleazy lifestyle of all that. I don't mind the occasional drink, because he has never done that enough to make it a problem. I feel like it is impossible to find a nice, clean, attractive guy that is not into all this partying stuff!
2007-03-23 14:53:05 · update #1
Sounds like you both have trust issues. It all comes down to how secure you are with yourself and your relationship. If you guys are already playing the "if you do this, I'll do this" game then it's probably not a good idea to continue the relationship.
You have to trust your partner... bottom line.
2007-03-23 14:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by hexler98 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I reviewed everyone elses answers and Im shocked! I really doubt alot of those girls feel that way. Yes strip clubs are something that boys do, SINGLE BOYS. I have nothing against strippers. However he needs to respect your feelings about this. As you get older you may change your mind. I have rules NO strip clubs NO pornos and NO magazines. I sound like a prude right? Im not tho, when you make bounderies like this you need to give a little more. We been together for 9 years! Its not about trust, its about respect! If it bothers you for any reason than he should respect your feelings. Both of you need to make some sacrifices. And this shouldnt be his. Not going to a strip club is not a sacrifice. I guess I look at it different because I am married and have a family. There is no way I would let my husband go and give OUR family money to those girls when we have bills and a life of our own. IM NOT A PRUDE!!
2007-03-24 11:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by THE mommy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you are right in thinking that its wrong for him to go to a strip club for his birthday because nobody goes to a strip club with good intentions. I woudn't suggest dumping him just because of that if you feel the relationship is good otherwise but rather try to talk some sense into him. Maybe you should make him list the pros and cons of going to a strip club and he'll realize the error in his ways. I don't think you want to give an ultimatum of either me or the strip club because I think there are better ways (mentioned above) to solve this.
2007-03-23 22:06:25 · answer #3 · answered by sixpacabs139 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an above person said, he is safer at a strip club than a night club because the strippers are only interested in his money. It should not be a problem unless he spends more time and attention to them than you. It definantly sounds like there is some insecurity about your relationship that goes beyond the strip club. If you both trust each other and love each other, than there is nothing to worry about. Trying to control each other by telling the other where they can and cannot go is going to lead the two of you to break up eventually when one of you gets tired of the games.
2007-03-23 21:55:51 · answer #4 · answered by KayLeen 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think Strip Clubs are something that BOYS do. Once you hit 21 if you are still going to strip clubs then you will be a stupid BOY forever. I think a true MAN will see a strip club as something stupid when they grow up (I think the age of 21 is good). My boyfriend went when he was younger, even why we dated. I didn't care then, cuz I know its what they do..but now we are married and he us 25 and does not go anymore. But even when he did go, he just went to hang out with the guys, he would never give the girls money. He is very tight with his money so I know he would never give some stupid sl*t a dollar. That always made me feel good, but today he is my husband and I can say he is a TRUE MAN!!!!
But if he is going to go and spend lots of money to get lap dances and boobs in the face, then I would kick him to the curb FAST!!!
2007-03-23 21:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by dohm84 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you have a right to feel the way you do, just like girls who feel OK about their men going to strip clubs have a right to feel that way. Nobody is wrong or right in this, because this is an OPINION. What is important is that you should never sacrifice something that you feel strongly uncomfortable about for someone else. You are not being controlling by feeling uncomfortable about this because you have every right to feel that way. If he doesn't understand that, then lose him or you will feel uncomfortable the rest of your life with someone who will never take in consideration your feelings.
2007-03-23 22:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lustral 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okkkay a long time a go I would have said "get over it" guys like to go to strip clubs it is the thing to do. But after being in a commited relationship for five years I have come to the realization that your man should not want to see other women naked ESPECIALLY having to pay for it. For his birthday he should want to see YOU naked and YOU only. If he gets turned on by other women's ****.... then screw him. ask him if you can go.
2007-03-23 21:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Both of you can lighten up and let each other enjoy life now. You're going to be married with kids before you know wishing for these lighthearted days. Seriously, tit for tat is immature. If you're confident and he is trustworthy, then don't worry about it. If you're not and he's not, then the relationship isn't going to work anyway.
2007-03-23 21:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Strip clubs are sleazy and dirty. He has a beautiful girlfriend in you. Why does he need to see trashy girls in a strip club!
2007-03-23 21:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by Tom B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. Theres nothing wrong with it and its not like hes having sex in there. Then when he comes home he'll be excited for you and your night will end nicely. Your only 18, live life and stop worrying about a relationship!!!
2007-03-23 21:42:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋