Do victims of harsh physical abuse react to everyday situations differently than other people?

Question

I'm not poking fun or anything. I'm writing a book. Here's some background on the plot: A boy was born albino, his father thought it was unnatural. The boy's mother died when he was 7, the father started physically abusing him. He got sent to jail when the boy was 13. Boy is15, in high school now.

So, I need information on how the boy would react to other people who've led normal-er lives, because he hasn't had one. Would something that a normal teenager wouldn't bat an eye at be a big deal for that boy, and vice-versa? Also, I was wondering if abuse survivors ever have periods where they relive their abuse. If not, would the idea of introducing that into the plot be believable?

Wow, that's a lot of stuff! I know I'm undertaking a big project here, so any additional help the Yahoo!Answers community could provide for me would be a big help. Is there a website to which I could go, a person I could interview, or some books I could read to help further my knowledge of this subject?

Answer 1

Yes.

I was abused for most of my early childhood (physically, sexually and emotionally), and I can tell you that it messes you up PROFOUNDLY.

To continue answering your question:
"Would something that a normal teenager wouldn't bat an eye at be a big deal for that boy, and vice-versa? "

Yes. I believe it's called hyper-awareness or hyper-vigilance.

"Also, I was wondering if abuse survivors ever have periods where they relive their abuse. "

Yes. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) victims often have "flashbacks" or relive the experience over and over. Mine often took place at night when I was sleeping, and my therapist (God love him!) said that it was my mind's way of trying to vanquish the past by triumphing over the enemy.

"If not, would the idea of introducing that into the plot be believable?"

COMPLETELY believable.

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If you like ( and you think it would help your research ), I'd be willing to make myself available for interview or "brainstorming". I feel that a book of this type should be as well researched and factual as possible, and if you haven't experienced abuse, you wouldn't be able to write about it without reaching out to the sector of the population who HAS experienced it.

I spent seven and a half years in therapy as a result of my past with a BRILLIANT therapist, who has basically helped the 'adult' me create the person I am today. I am NOTHING like my parents, and I am proud to say that I have BROKEN the "chain of abuse" that you hear referred to over and over.

Your book, most certainly, should have a character like the therapist... a good therapist is an essential part of the healing.

Answer 2

Your questions are more than a yes/no answer.

People are different regardless of the experiences which took part in shaping them.

The abused child can grow into an abusive parent as well as a compassionate loving adult. It depends on the person, not the abuse received.

The usual plot where the abused person is either striking back at evil or cowering in fear takes a very tired and simple approach to building a character who is trying to cope with everyday normal life.

Why not show the abused as they really are? Everyday people who face the same life events as everyone else but instead of being ruled by their abuse,use their experience to better themselves and those in their life?

Answer 3

Most survivors of abuse have PTSD or Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder. I have it. When something upsetting happens, I tend to maximize it and therefore see it as worse than other people do. The WTC Tragedy was terrible for me. I had to keep reliving it day after day on tv, I was stuck there and couldn't let it go. A year after it, I was numb and almost paralyzed because it came right back to me. I've relived abuse in therapy, it's helped alot, but the scars will always be there.

Answer 4

You should look up information on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for starters. There is a lot of information that can help you here.
Your question can be answered in so many different ways. It all depends on his personality, how he was loved by his mother, how he chose to cope. Did he choose to "shut down" (disassociate), when he received the phsyical abuse? Did he learn to not love? You need to process all these questions and more when writing your book, there are so many angles you can go with. Good luck.

Answer 5

Yes my husband was abused very, very badly as a kid, by several different family members he was bounced around with. For along time he was always very nervous and on edge about everything. He could never relax, ever. Always thought people were judging or insulting him even when they werent. Always getting in fights in school. He started to self medicate with marijuana when he was 12 years old (with his dad when they were reunited) Who died a few years later. He ended up on the streets. He was so used to chaos and destruction and pain that he just couldnt understand anything else, and we fear what we do not understand, so he would create chaotic situations it when it wasnt necessary.

He was always good to me, never hurt me or even tried to. But he was always in so much pain. I am thankful he got better, hes been sober for a few years and its starting to become clear to him that hes not in any real danger to other than the danger he creates. He could only change when he realized that his upbringing wasnt normal, and that there was nothing really wrong with him as a human being.

here is a site that will give you some insight:

http://www.focusas.com/BehavioralDisorders.html

Answer 6

People who have been abused or neglected, especially from infancy can have severe problems based on the severity of the abuse or neglect. They learn from a young age that no one will take care of them so they learn to sooth themselves. As a result, the people who should have loved and nurtured them neglected and abused them. They learn not to trust anyone from birth. This leads to the inability to form relationships. They try to control their environment and relationships so they will not be hurt again. The problem is their control and manipulation pushes people away. They seek to get their needs met first in every situations as a survival technique. They can become very narcissistic. These are symptoms of what is called an "Attachment Disorder" It can lead to some very bad behaviors or personality disorders. They feel unloved and unlovable. They develop an inability for attachments to anyone. When they try they have to control the relationship. Children who have been bounced from one foster home to another can also display this inability to trust. They are often very angry as well. Sound like you may have the makings of a good story. I wish you well.

Answer 7

whenever a person is in any type of abusive relationship they take on a different mentality(for a lack of a better term)The human psyche is a strange thing it gives different people different ways of coping(protecting)themselves some its like they go into the gutter(drugs,achocol.any type(s) of addiction)and sink to the bottom to either come up when they are truly ready on the inside or to stay in that type of drama and never come out.Then there are those who may start off llike that but fate steps in and sends something or one to their resuce.Then that person is able to stand tall and is usually the best conseulor to others who are going through the same situation.What it boils down to is a free will choice for the individual

Answer 8

i can think of one thing write off the bat. looks. when someone could be looking at him normal he could take it as a sign of aggression and become hostile and unwilling to cooperate. or he could be seriously afraid of dissapointing anyone, like if he is asked to answer a question in class he could freak out being afraid that he would be hit for not knowing the answer.

i think that you should check out www.nanowrimo.com it is a place where a lot of writers exchange ideas and help each other out with plot problems and things like that.

Answer 9

He/She could be shy and reserved -- Or loud and hateful --- There are so many emotions involved -- Some could be Rage - Fear - Helplessness - Loneliness - Trusting issue's - Sadness - I know I am a Survivor myself

Good Luck with your Book I hope I helped a little

Answer 10

I agree with everyone up there, just wanted to say if u wanted to talk (personal experience) just contact me, would be willing to help as i think a book of this type would help more people understand.