How did it affect your life and relationships? Did you tell your bf/gf/spouse? After how long did you wait to tell him/her? How did you deal with everything, did you get counselling?
For anyone who read my previous questions about being molested, here is what has happened since then:
-I told my parents in December and we went to the police right away
-he admitted it, and to molesting several other girls
-the other girls were questioned and confirmed everything I said, even about the pictures on the computer
-there is so much evidence against him that I will not have to testify
-his wife and daughter still remain friends with us, she thanked us
-the cat died
-one girl said it had happened last spring, so it really was ongoing
2007-03-23 13:27:38 · 9 answers · asked by epitome of innocence 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I was molested by my uncle when I was 7 I am 16 now and I have anxiety problems and I am afraid to be around people and I have depression. I did have a b/f and he knew about it and was upset but we never talked about it. I can't seem to keep relationships I am not in one now. I am in counseling now.
2007-03-23 13:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was molested when i was about 6 or seven..... today i am 15... and it affected my childhood dramatically...i was severly depressed but i am in a much better place now.... I have stoped feeling bad about myself and have moved on.... I forgave....but have never forgotten....Sometimes i think about....... but i am in a much better place right now.I am very overprotective of my little brother. I take no crap from men and i can get very agressive at times. I am so happy to see that you have gotten this person arrested.. because i coulden't... i don't have a boyfriend but im pretty sure it will have some affect on it. I didn't have a counselor and i got through it on my own. I am very fortunate to be able to have done that, because not alot of people can. I think the best thing for you to do is get counseling..I overcame it.... but it wasen't a over night thing...it took me almost 8 years to be in the position that i am in today...i see how i can turn the negative into a positive next time. Every situation helps us to evolve, so every situation is good. Life is not worth wasting any moment on depression. I did for far too long, and I'll never do it again! But I don't regret my past, it has made me who I am, and I have learned a great deal about life from the way
I used to be. You can overcome anything. Nothing can stop you from enjoying life. I
found out the longer you sit there and feel bad about yourself, the longer your gonna feel depressed. You get up and fight through it. whatever is kicking you and trying to push you down, i say kick it back. The first thing you got to do is open uo the curtains, put on some good music, take a shower, put on a good face, and open up the door and go out and see the world .Your sitting around hoping someone will fix it but, it's got to be fixed through you. You can't say "please, god help me." God is not gonna do anything if only try and help yourself to. Don't hold things back. Say it. Deal with that emotion... I wish you the best of luck ..
2007-03-23 14:44:04 · answer #2 · answered by The REBELution! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was molested when i was very young, when i got older i witnessed my two younger sister getting molested, i blocked out my molestation. we did not tell anyone { it was in a time that if you were molested you were treated like the abuser-like you must have done something to cause it! i went through many years of feeling guilty and inferior. when i was a lot older, my younger sisters and i had a long talk about it and we cried and shared all the things we had been through,{ i still do not remember my abuse-just little pieces like a movie that you can't see everything that happened} i guess i finally worked through it. the rage and the shame not to mention the guilt is enormous for a child and it doesn't get better with age. i have learned to face it and to accknowledge that it did happen and that i didn't act in a way that caused it. i know it made me accept being the victim for many years. i felt that i deserved to be treated bad because i was bad. now i have come to terms with what happened and i know that i did not make my abuser do what he did. i have come to face it accept that it happened and move on. it will not be a facter in how i treat people and how i live my life. if i let that happen he will have won and he won't even know it! {he has moved on to someone else by now} no he was never caught, but he will one day have to answer for those he has hurt. my sisters have had help in dealing with the molestion they suffered. they are still dealing wiht the baggage that goes with it!! thank the good lord i am not!!!!and i mean that literally! through jesus i found forgivness to give and peace! i even feel soory for me abuser, he is the one who will need mercy in the end!! hope this helps you in some way!! and yes i did tell my husband -to-be {he doesn't understand what i went through but accepts me.} good luck in as you get through this!!my prayers are there with you !
2007-03-23 13:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by cvgm702 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was molested by my father, from 4-16. It was found out when I was 12 and the whole family went to counceling. It didn't stop, it just got more secretive and more "emotionally" abusive. "If you tell, then they will take me away and they won't take me alive for something like this." Long story short.
I hated my dad for a long time, more because he justified it then for what he did. I hated my mom more because she knew and hid her head in the sand over it, so it continued. My dad's guilt allowed me to be a very outspoken person with him, and as I got older we talked about it and he stopped justifying his actions. We have a great relationship as adults and he lets me be the adult I am instead of always trying to be the parent to an "unruly" 12yr old like my mom. I love my dad, My childhood memories are severly tainted, but I still love my dad.
How it effected my relationships? I've been married twice and engaged for the third time. All of the important men in my life have known about it because it effects alot of my behaviors. With my first husband, the first time he tried to wake me up to have sex he got back handed, literally. I've learned to cope. I've had a suicide attempt. I now know wasn't my fault because it went on for so long. But I also know that my "wounds" aren't something I can put a band-aid on and its all better never to bother me again. That was the hardest thing to learn. It also prepared me for my future, when my oldest son was 6, he was molested by a peer. It enabled me to deal better with the situation, and to first and foremost assure my son it wasn't his fault.
Everything in this life happens for a reason, and I always used to say I was going to ask "God" on the day of my judgement why did this have to happen, now I know. It helped to make me into the incredible person I am today.
2007-03-24 16:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by swee_pea630 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was raped a few times by a few different guys. My husband knows this. I have depression, flashbacks, and panic attacks. I can't remember how long I waited to tell him, but I know it wasn't long. I just wanted "all my cards on the table." I did get counseling, but it didn't seem to help. I just live life one day at a time, it does get easier. Alot of the self-help books really do help, and journalling has helped immensely. I write better than I talk...and I can still write through tears and sobs...talking through tears isn't all that easy for me.
2007-03-23 16:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by dragonslayernd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was between 5 & 7. It was my babysitters teenage son. Carried it around for a lot of years. Told my mother at 19. Never wanted to tell her because I thought she would feel guilty. I don't think she believed me. She never asked questions and we never spoke of it again. I have depression. Don't know if it's related or just my bad genes. I never went to the police. I spoke to a lawyer when I was abou t19 and they said I would be lucky if he was given a 2 year sentence. Haven't thought about it in a long time. Made be an overprotective parent. I am getting better about letting go. Talked to my kids about it at a young age. I am still friends with the parents of this guy. I have seen him in my adult life and have wanted to say something, but never did. If I had it to do all over again, I would have said something right away, but didn't know any better. Go to counselling. Don't carry the crap around with you the rest of your life. Its NOT your fault. - or mine. God Bless
2007-03-23 13:41:42 · answer #6 · answered by Proud Mama of 4 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was not molested but work with those who have been. I want to tell you that you have probably touched the souls of more people than you know by telling your story. Please hang in there. Your future will be rough, you have a lot to work through but you will be okay. You do not have to worry about what others think. This act that happened to you was not your fault and should never have happened. I applaud your courage. You have saved many others who could have gone through this in the future. Please remember this. You are a brave person. YOu are in my thoughts and prayers. Bless you.
2007-03-23 14:29:28 · answer #7 · answered by elimayme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, when I was 8 years old, by a neighbour. I didn't tell my parents. Long story. My significant other knows about it and I got counselling and dealt with it ok. But it will affect you in some degree for the rest of your life.
2007-03-23 13:49:53 · answer #8 · answered by elanabutcher 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so proud of you - And I can't say Thank You enough - You have Helped and Saved so many people - I Bless You Dearly
2007-03-23 14:25:42 · answer #9 · answered by pattijohughes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋