Is the idea of sex with one person your whole life that scary? ( Not having sex before you are married)?

Question

I am watching the Oprah show and this question came up. Is it that scary. We are talking no sex at all before marriage. Now, for me it isn't. I remained a virgin until my wedding night at the age of 28. (married on 7-7-01 and I am now 34). To me the idea of having sex with more than one person is very scary. Why would you want to disrespect your body and soul like that??? Don't you think that if people saved them selves and made love to the person they married only, the divorce rate would drop? I find that love making is so special that it should only be shared with one person your husband/wife.
Marriage should be viewed in the same way. I am married to my husband for life. And only death will seprate us. We are each others soul mates.
What are your thoughts??
Again, if you wait until you are married, you would not know ( I don't) what "bad sex" is. You would have know one to compare to as far as sex goes. I have only dated my husband, I was 25 when we met.

So, even for me being with someone else is scary! I feel so blessed that God gave me my husband, David. We were made for each other. And we have two wonderful boys ( you can see them in my picture- Jason is 3 1/2 and Cody is 2 1/2 months old)

I feel proud that I am strong enough to stay a virgin until marriage. And my husband is honored that he married a virgin. And no he was not one.

So, what did your parents teach you about sex before marriage. All my parents told me was that is was fine as long as you were in love.

But, I didn't want a child out of wedlock. My parents adopted me and I never wanted to be like my birth mom and hate my kids. So I choose to be a virgin until my wedding night.
It is easy to do if you put your mind to it!

How did I make it to 28. I just set my mind to it! It was that easy! I told my husband that if he loved me that much he would put a wedding ring on my hand first. And he did 3 years later!

Don't all men look alike? I mean I know people have different skin colors. But, other than that all men look alike. They all can't look that different?

Answer 1

More than every I feel one should wait until marriage before they have sex. Everyday it seems this day and time most young ladies have a child or two without the dad being around. I often say if they would have only waited. Trust me when I tell you this I've waited and it was great and to this day its even better. I'm over forty years of age now and trust me when I tell you GREAT ! Just a year ago I thought about how it would be it I had did it with someone else it's scary! I don't want to. I love what I have! and that no JOKE!

Answer 2

this is a very debatable topic.. fact is nowadays it is very difficult to remain celebate until marriage - whether you are 19 or 28... honestly dont know how you made it to 28.. but i applaud you. I dont think that being celebate would keep marriages in tact (it could help).. the problem today is that people are lazy and want to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble.. be it financial, personality faults, etc. Everyone wants things to be perfect and while they are still in the "honeymoon or newlywed" stage they are "so in love" they tend to overlook the others faults or situations that are yet to come. Most marriages , last i read, usually end in divorce within the first 7 years. They only true reason for divorce, in my opinion, is infidelity or abuse. I personally dont think that being a virgin (in these days) would keep someone from cheating down the road.. if anything you may become more curious (ie.. maybe the guy i work with is hung,, ive never had a stud before) or (i wonder what it's like to be with a woman with large breasts). There are so many temptations out there.. It all boils down to the person and their morals.

Answer 3

That is wonderful that you have a wonderful husband that you saved yourself for, every person chooses their own path in life. Not everyone makes the right choices, but whatever choices they make they have to live with and learn from. I did not save myself for my husband, in fact I was married once before and got divorced, I had my three boys when I met the man I am married to now. He is loving, caring and devoted, he treats my boys like they are his own. We also have a girl together, who has him wrapped around her finger. He is everything to me as me and the kids are to him. Comparing him with other sexual partners from my past has never been an issue, because to me each person is different, and likes to do different things, the longer you are with someone the more you two get to know eachothers likes and dislikes. We've been together about as long as you and your husband and the sex is awesome and so is our marriage. Saving one self for marriage doesn't make for a happy marriage or a solid one that will last through the ages, it's how the couple can love, respect, and care for one another that keeps the marriage going.

Answer 4

I think the most important factors to accompany a sex life is love, devotion and trust which are qualitites that marriage may or may not indicate.
Some people feel that abstaining from sex before marriage is ideal for them which is fair enough, but the people who don't choose this route aren't automatically going to burn in hell!
Holland has the lowest teenage pregnancy rate in the western world; unlike the U.S. sex education system it doesn't promote abstinence in young people (neither does it promote promiscuity). It just approaches sex in a naturally open way - its not a sin, its not dirty - they just teach sex should be approached in a physically and emotionally responsible way.
In other words, its not what you do its the way you do it!

Answer 5

The brides today are worn out ho's, being pure means nothing to them , as long as they can get one hour of attention from a guy. Then they have the gall to have an 'atttitude' as if they have values. Do not watch Oprah, she once had a filthy show on about oral sex with men, [not husbands either] no, I did not watch it, but I was told about it. It came on when kids come home from school, who is she anyway? she's a heathen. Money is her God, Jesus said 'if the world loves you, you do not belong to me'. Marraige is forever--people are rebellious and turn from the Word of God. Marraige is like Jesus and His church, that is what God said, Jesus is called the groom and his church is called the Bride. I am married for almost 22 years,
I would never cheat, never. Everything my husband and i do is for each other. One big reason people and their children suffer today is because they do not respect God, their own bodies or anyone elses'. They cheat, they fornicate before Marraige, and they raise their poor kids with no standards, or no other parent in the home. They think it's so cool to go on spring break have sex when lots of guys, but the abortion rate goes way up after spring break, and people get all kinds of std's. Then when the man decides after awhile she was just another whore, a dime a dozen, he gets tired of her and she's left with fatherless children, on welfare, or some dead end job. All because they let sex control them from the start, instead of waiting for marraige. Females do not need sex before marraige, they say that to get attention from men. Then their daughters by 13 are doing the same things, on and on. No good dad in the home, schools are unGodly, and mother is still going to clubs or bars at 37.

Answer 6

It's good that you waited to have sex and have only had sex with only one person.

God likes it that way and it glorifies him.

Funny you didn't mention God. Did you do it for the right reason? For whatever is not of God, is of sin. So, although you may have did the honorable thing, if you did not do it to glorify God....you're still wrong.

Answer 7

Well I am kinda stuck on this question because YES, I do think its great to share the one and only 1st. experiece with a spouse but I also try on a new pair of shoes before I buy them. It is in deed possible that 2 people could be mis matched sexually and that could cause a BIG issue in a marriage. I have been sexually active with each spouse prior to marriage and it was no secret.

Mary in the tiny village of Onsted, Michigan

Answer 8

No, it isn't scary to me. But don't intend to wait until marriage to have sex. Dosen't mean that I'm going to **** everything that has a pulse.

By the way, have you posted this question before? Why?

Answer 9

To me, the idea of not having sex before marriage is scary. After having explored several relationships, the idea of staying with one person for the rest of my life is not scary at all - but it did help to have had experience prior to deciding what works for me, what's important, and what I can safely go without. To each their own, I suppose.

Answer 10

The idea is horrible. How do you know if your sex is great if you don't have bad sex. And how do you know if your sex is bad if you don't have good sex. One mate for life...not natural, against the laws of nature. This concept arose to help insure that the parents would care for the child. Today, no longer necessary. And why would anyone buy a pair of shoes you didn't try on. Those who wait until they are married to have sex set themselves up for a miserable time in life. Sexual incompatibility ranks high for reasons for divorce. If sex is not magic, then you do not want to marry that person.