People have different personality traits and attributes, and sometimes, you have for instance a great husband or mother or other, but they have this one thing that bothers everyone, even they get in trouble because of it (IE. lack of religiosity, being nervous, hard to live with etc...)
Can we change those people? Can we, with wisdom, patience or something else, really help them be better themselves? Or is changing others IMPOSSIBLE?
I'd love to see thoughtful answers.. Thank you
2007-03-23 12:46:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Let's hear it for classical conditioning.
:-P
2007-03-31 04:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by Nite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I belive that in order for a person to change they have to want to. My education teacher really stresses the idea that we, as teachers, cannot motivate our students. But not to just limit it to the classroom, we as people cannot motivate anyone else. We can encourage them and give them suggestions but true motivation can come only from within. Therefore, yes, people can change, however, they must be willing and inspired to change. If they are not then it won't happen.
The best way to change a behavior is by using reinforcement. There are two types: positive-giving a reward for the wanted behavior and negative-taking away something in someone's life that they DO NOT like (this is not punishment). A very simple example is that movie where the dance instructor played very loud classical music and refused to turn it off until the students did as he asked.
2007-03-28 23:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by Tara C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can really change... To a degree. Also, they can only change if they want to, so they must have incentive or reason to want to change. I made changes to my habits when I entered a relationship because of the friction those habits were causing. Now going back to the degree of change, they still usually want to do those things, but if they want to change, usually a mental flag would go up, and if they really have changed, they will examine what they're doing and see if it is the correct path to take.
That is behavioral, such as being flirtatious or being overly curios, or meddling. Such things as confidence, nervousness need to be reinforced by believing. You may want to change for the sake of the person you love, but those mentioned above need 100% belief. This can be brought on by conditioning (such as sports and things to raise self confidence) or random events, such as a near death experience or a miracle to finally prove there is a higher being.
To sum it up, minor behavior changes can be brought on by them forcing themselves to think; the others might take some love, understanding, work, and belief.
2007-03-23 20:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by psyudonym B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. How you respond to these annoying behaviors can make a difference. You may have to determine what you can tolerate and what you cannot. Gently confront the person and if they change, great. If they do not then you have to decide how involve you want to be with this person. I wish you well.
2007-03-23 20:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mjohnson....you took the words right out of my mouth. I was in that situation not so long ago & had to decide if I could get beyond his bad habits or end the relationship. He made some changes & I learned to see him more for his good qualities, rather than his nasty little habits. It's working out great!
2007-03-31 13:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The core personality cannot be changed, with lots of practice and self-motivation, the behavioral patterns can be changed, like Pavlov's dogs, their behavior changed according to the stimuli and response, but they were still dogs.
2007-03-31 18:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by d b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU can't change them; only THEY can. Only THEY have the power to change THEMSELVES. People don't change unless they have to. If a life changing event happens or they wake up one day and have a revelation they might change, but for some people, this day never comes.
2007-03-31 03:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by ssmith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great person once told me, you cannot change others around you, you can only model the behavior for them. Once you change yourself, and accept that others won't change, you see things alot differently.
2007-03-30 03:02:34 · answer #8 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can not change a person. Therapy sessions or consultation with counselors might change him for a while but that is only temporary. He will eventually return to his real self.
2007-03-31 18:49:19 · answer #9 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think subtlety is the best way to change a person. Then they think that it was THEIR idea. But keep in mind, these things don't happen overnight.
2007-03-23 19:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by knight2001us 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋