My wife and i are getting a divorce but we still live in the same house untill we sell it. Everyday i feel myself growing bitter and angry at her.She acts like nothing botters her and everything is fine. I know she is out messing around with other men. And she thinks its ok, since we are getting a divorce..I feel she should be more concern for her present situation with me and our 2 girls.At least wait till we sell the house and go our seperate ways.She has a drinking problem and won't listen to anybody about it.But still i can't stop feeling jealous and hurt. Because of this, I try to stay far away from her by working late hours and staying out late, but that just affects my bond with the girls. I feel i'm going crazy.....................
2007-03-23 12:12:08 · 10 answers · asked by wickedwizzard 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thankyou everyone for all your responses. It is a comfort. As for moveing out rite now, i wish i could, but just can't afford it. All our money is tied up in this house. Plus she was out of work for awhile and that sucked up alot of my money. Plus the lawyer fees are killing me big time.. Seems like a no win situation. I know this could affect my children, trust me, i try to show and give them all my love as much as possiable. But when i'm it just gives her an excuse to go out, thats why i try not to be home. I know its not the answer, but she makes feels so dam angry inside.
2007-03-23 14:49:41 · update #1
Yes, both of your behaviors are effecting the girls. One of you, probably your wife, should move out. If you can't sell the house soon, maybe you can rent it and go your separate ways. She is wrong in thinking she can fool around while she is still married. If your state has a law against adultery you can prosecute.
2007-03-23 12:17:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a problem you have to accept as long as you live in the same house. Your situation is something that has just started happening more and more nowadays because people are more interested in saving money than having separate households like they used to do. If you want to save money you have to make another sacrifice of some type. Don't say you're doing it for the kids sake either because you know they don't have a secure environment when you and your wife cannot get along in the same house. If you want a divorce then prove it by getting your own place and have her leave.
2007-03-23 12:19:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Wow. This is tough situation. First let me say- I am so sorry you are going through this.
Honestly, there isn't anything you can do to stop her from seeing other men- whether or not you feel it has a negative impact for your girls to see her doing this (and I wholeheartedly agree with you here). The best solution would be for you to BE THERE FOR YOUR KIDS. When it's obvious she is going to be drinking- take the girls to the park. If she is going out on a date- take the girls for a drive. Do something with THEM! Just because your ex feels it's appropriate to expose them to her lifestyle doesn't mean that you have to accept that. Take advantage of these time to build your bond with your daughters!
Working late is only going to build a wall between you and your girls. DOCUMENT every time your wife has a drink. DOCUMENT every time she brings random men around the girls. Try to get custody or at least partial custody of them. Explain to the courts that you are worried about her alcohol problem. You say you guys live together- find receipts for the alcohol purchases. You can get through this. Be smart- don't take anything for granted. Judges are not very father-favoring in most states and you must prove why the girls are better off with you and not their mother.
2007-03-23 12:22:42 · answer #3 · answered by Nickster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know the situation but it sounds to me like she is a very self centered person. Even if I were to divorce my husband I don't think I could stoop so low as to let him know I was whoring around. You will make it. Try to get that house sold FAST. I hope you are getting the support you need from family and friends. She, on the other hand is only ruining her reputation and risking her health by possibly contracting std's. She'll get what she deserves I'm sure. By the way, that's a 2 way street. If she can go out and meet new men then you should be able to meet new women. Forget about her.
2007-03-23 12:25:48 · answer #4 · answered by sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very very sorry.
The issue has nothing to do with "not letting go", it has to do with coping with your wife's attitude.
Of course you feel jealous and hurt! Can you try to get the girls out, just the 3 of you, after school? Explain to your wife that you need to "practice" being a dad without mum around. Would that work for you? Depending on how old the girls are, can you explain in simple words what is happening?
Talk to a councellor to find the best way forward for you and do not let this destroy you! You need all your strengths to face the situation. Good luck.
2007-03-23 12:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by Claire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been through a divorce and i can tell you that you are in a lose lose situation...i spent years pretending everything was ok ...thought it was best for my children and they have always come first in my life....but heres the thing oneday i realised that staying with him was actually worse for them...let me explain , you see your children have an uncanny way of knowing when you are unhappy....and just like when they are unhappy you are...it works the same for them...they see unhappiness and it reflects upon them....and trust me when i say the situation you are in isnt helping anyone except maybe your soon to be ex who has you as a built in baby sitter while she runs out and does her thing....you need to get out of there and i get that you want to be with your children...but as you said working all the time to avoid your home isnt being with them either and then when you are you are miserable so its not quality time....find yourself a place to go and see your kids as often as you need to for them and you and i can assure you it will work out in the end and the time you do spend with them will be much more valuable...its about priorities in this situation and when kids a re involved they take priority ...as for your jealousy of your wife...rest assured one day you will find someone who loves you unconditionally and when that happens you will look back on this all as a learning experience one in which helped you grow and be a better you...and just remember without the bad when the good comes along you'd never recognise it and it would likely pass you by...you haveta go through trials in life to get to a place where you can find happpiness....hope ive helped some...Rosie
2007-03-23 12:24:22 · answer #6 · answered by bawstoncreampie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you afford to rent an apt until the sale of the home? Maybe even get a roomie in the apt? This will help you to move on. Also, some counseling wouldn't hurt. Good Luck to you....
2007-03-23 12:36:40 · answer #7 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would not wait to move until the house sells!! Get out now!! You are only being totured!!
2007-03-23 12:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go find an new girl and you will forget all about the tramp. She doesn't deserve you and you shouldn't waste your time thinking of the tramp.
Move on, it is the best thing for you and your kids.
2007-03-23 12:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get full custody!
after that you can get the house for child support!
Show her whats what.
2007-03-23 12:54:49 · answer #10 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋