Every person in my life seems to be a controlling person.My ex husband,my present partner and my daughter.It seems because I am totally only caring for others I am a target to be controlled and hurt.I love them all equally.Only want to make them all happy and help them no matter what the cost to myself Why do they all want me just for themselves. They all hate each other and try to make me hate each of them. I have no hate for anyone .HELP
2007-03-23 12:09:01 · 5 answers · asked by margaret e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
people treat you how you allow them to so if you set up your relationships with the idea that they can do these things to you and you will put up with it then they will give you what you want! so you need to start showing them how you want to be treated and that starts by not complain about it and fixing it saying no and when someone bad mouths someone to you say i am sorry but if you want to talk bad about my husband then i need to walk away because that is not OK with me so i wont sit here and listen to it if you want to change the topic then i will stay or i just need to go! also know if you are not filled up inside you can not really give anything that's worth much to any one when a pitcher is empty you cant really offer anyone something to drink right you can go through the motions but in the end empty cups is what you still have and soon people will notice so to say you are willing to make others happy at no cost to you is more selfish then if you did take the time for your self because if you are worn down, tired or unhappy then you have less then your best to offer anyone so in the end you are just saying to others your not worth my best so i will keep giving you what i have from a empty pitcher so you need to take care of your self so that in the end what you are offering others is truly the best you have to offer!
2007-03-23 12:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are a wonderful person to have so many think so much of you. But as you know this can be a problem. My family tends to treat me the same way and I am the one that solves everyone's problems. What I had to do was set up boundaries and let them know that I loved them all and I would not tolerate them being unkind to each other. You need to stop being a doormat [ and I don't say that unkindly ] and you need to disengage yourself from them and they're feelings for each other. They are grown ups and they need to act that way. I hope this helps a little, I know that when you are objective it's easier. Good luck to you.
2007-03-23 12:21:14 · answer #2 · answered by oneontaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a spine and stand up for yourself!!!!!!!! It isn't about everyone else all the time! In order for you to be truly happy you have to be selfish to some degree. There is nothing wrong with wanting to help other people, but when it comes at the expense of your own sanity, you need to draw the line.
2007-03-23 12:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very passive of you to do so much for them no matter what the cost to you. Almost like a martyr. People like that don't get crowned saints from me. I say, grow a backbone and take your stand or be prepared to get run over.
2007-03-23 12:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to take time out for yourself because youre fall apart inside little by little and you cant help other intell you help yourself good luck
2007-03-23 12:26:28 · answer #5 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋