Is 23-24 an ok age to get married?

Question

People always say that if you get married while young, you're more likely to divorce. This is also said about people that live together before getting married, oh well.

But what is the safe age.

Marriage meaning just that, marriage. No kids. That will be a long time from now (for me).

Answer 1

I think thats a good age to get married and then start having kids so then you can grow with your kids and still be young. But its your call.... do you believe in your relationship enough to know if its time to move to the next step?

Answer 2

I don't think there's a perfect age to marry. Maturity would be the main thing in my opinion. Things aren't always easier when you are married. As long as you feel prepared to stick it out when times get tough, you consider someone elses feelings and can communicate well with that other person then certainly 23-24 is not too young at all.

Answer 3

I was 23. Been married for 18 years. Divorce happens because people grow too far apart and stop trying; not because they get married in their early twenties. You get out of a marriage what you both are willing to put into it.
That "for better or for worse" thing, that really does happen--it's not just words. But there is a way to work through all of the "worse" stuff if you both really want to--whether you are 23 or 93.

Answer 4

30!! Marrying young is not about the likelihood of divorce. It's about the maturity level of the persons involved. Most dont achieve that level of maturity in their twenties. I am 31 and I am totally different than I was then. You need 'skills' to STAY married. Like being able to communicate even when your feelings are on the line. You have to be able to feel vulnerable. You have to be able to ward away any negativity. You have to have wisdom to think for yourself. You need emotional support when things go wrong. And so on...

Answer 5

Honestly i think there is no real specific age to say ok that its get married. Young, old whatever you have just as much chance of your marriage surviving as the rest of us.

Marry when you feel you are ready to get married. Regardless of how old you are!!

Answer 6

You can't really generalize about exact ages to get married. Think of it this way, you watch a different movies or soap operas with characters you care about, in one movie you wish she gets married later, in another another gal you wish said yes now. Each person has a different story to tell, so 23 for Jenny might be right, 28 for Harriet another.

The safest ages are sometimes also a bit too late, although they are the most prudent. Theory goes that you want to have finished school, begun your career and if the breadwinner or wishing to be self-sufficient, established yourself in that career as a professional. If not you'll have to bank on your drive, your guts, and the inspiration of you one you love to get you through, expect plenty of additional challenges, financial strain, less quality time, and a higher risk marriage.

To be more helpful, I unfortunately have to remain situational if not general. You don't want to get married if the main feeling in your life is disappointment or dissatisfaction. Love as a bandage or cure-all carries all that weight and the stress usually caves the marriage in. Youth in the phrases you quoted in your question refers more to inexperience and unfinished learning through experience. You have to know a lot about yourself, including why you love, and where you are going in all areas of your life. You have to have the ability to accept the realities of life and limitations of yourself, and yet strive to accomplish as much as possible , realizing your own strengths and weaknesses, that all things are risks in varying amounts and that ... in the end the buck stops at your own desk. If you feel you have reached that 2nd base camp on the mountain, it's time to see what is missing and how to renew yourself to make it worth climbing to the top. That's usually a good time to consider if you are ready for marriage or not, before them is considered guessing.

You don't have to live together to get to know someone well. You do have to have gone through many ups and downs together in some fashion and developed a strong bond to have ANY REAL SENSE of the chances you have together in the future versus the obstacles and struggles that WILL COME. A marriage is a team. Infatuation, puppy love, even "in-love", that will all fade. What gets you through is the comraderie, teamwork, shared effort, the joys and pains lived together without destroying each other but instead helping each other. You can either learn that on the job or learn it before hand, but you'll have to learn it or the marriage will almost certainly be unhappy, doomed, or unremarkable.

Finally, there is a slight problem shown in your question as posted already. You have placed a limitation on your marriage which, given the bond of a successful marriage, borders upon being unreasonable and surprisingly enough, also lacking in emotion . You'll have to think about this deeply and feel it as well to get my meaning here.

Saying that you are for marriage but no kids suggests a lack of trust in your partner, in yourself, and in the potential fruit of your own loving relationship. If you are totally in love with your partner, if you feel that your love together is so great that you wish others could feel it as well, it will become as strong an urge as is possible to bring others into the world to share in that love. All I am saying here is that if you think about it philosophically and emotionally, a great marriage with a great love in a great atmosphere which is the result of great effort, will, and love simply is going to default to WANTING to have kids.

So it may seem reasonable in dry theory to place that limitation up above at the moment, but the deeper you imagine a good marriage, the more you realize that that ONE limitation says something about your worries, trusts, concerns, and therefore a bit about what you think about the potential beaus you have out there, or your own ability to deal with such an eventuality.

So take a deeper look at that and keep that in mind as a potential limitation that should seriously be re-examined, especially in the light of what a really loving marriage will make you feel about that.

It's a condition you mentioned for a reason, examine that reason as it may speak volumes. Whether it is prudence for a reason, or fear for a reason, or convenience for a reason -- it's there for a reason and not just as a condition to a marriage. 'Nuff said.

My mother used to say that 23 was when you hit your stride, that on her good days she always felt 23, it was the right mix of energy, courage, competence, and fully formed character. Yes, but it's usually also too free of real pain, and too easily pained by things not as painful as those that an older life can experience. But it is a place where a strong foundation is now in place and the energy and optimism although a bit tempered is ready to build the walls of the dream house.

Others here will surely have explained to you the benefits physically, emotionally, and so on. My purpose is more general.

Your question drops clues which are interesting as a mixture. "Safe age", "no kids", a concern about divorce, "marriage meaning just that", "no kids". These point to certain concerns you have, yet some are in potential opposition, examine them independently and then later together and see what you can determine about them.

It would seem that you are worried that marriages do end up in divorce, so you definitely want one to last. But you fear that kids are not the main foundation of a marriage, perhaps they seemed part of the problem in your parents' or friends' marriages, and so no kids seems the prudent thing, until a marriage is proven and safe, and so long lasting.

But don't forget that every action requires both reason and motivation, or sense and inspiration to motivate courage and will as well as planning and decision.

You can build a dream house to love, but you have to love the blueprints and the construction work to get it done. It's a viciously lovely circle, a terrible Catch-22 -- give or take a couple of years.

I generally believe the average suburban female professional probably benefits best from marrying after college but also a few years after trying her way by herself in the world. So I'd default to 24-28 as the best time, because you'll remain optimistic , have had a chance to test out your professional wings in a career, and have a sense of why your husband, if also a professional, isn't really living a golden life either, it has real long-term pluses and minuses. It also gives you something to fall back on if you end up in divorce, so you'll have more courage to be able to say no those who aren't marriageable material because you won't need to financially, and he'll respect you for that if he has any sense.

But, there are many women who would have made great wives later in their lives (for certain) and many who would do well younger. If you marry younger just remember that having similar goals, compatible personalities, and having done a variety of things that turned out well and turned out not so well, and yet stuck together is a much better measure than if he still makes you go googly eyes, turns you on, shows confidence, or knows how to make you laugh. Those things are only relative veneer. Will he be there when the going gets rough and will he make the good moments even better is what it is all about.

Best wishes.

Answer 7

of course it is as long as your ready and happy thats all that matters