Is it possible that two consenting adults having an affair can ever be a good thing? What if both partners are in a loveless relationship at home but there are lots of other issues such as kids and houses and money and everyone elses life to consider.
What if the only place to get that kind of emotional and physical need filled is with someone who is in the exact same boat as you? I know it's morally wrong but perhaps there are some people out there that feel the same and can provide that perspective.
2007-03-23 11:01:49 · 15 answers · asked by Easter Bunny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I get what youre saying but no, its never a good thing. Someone will find out and someone will get hurt.
2007-03-23 11:05:24 · answer #1 · answered by PenguinsWife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not exactly what you're looking for, but maybe it can help, some??
No, unfortunately, having an affair can never be a good thing.
And, sadly, you know this to be the case. This is evidenced by your statement that YOU KNOW it's morally wrong - and are essentially seeking other's to tell you that it's ok to do what you know to be wrong.
I'm very sorry that you're having such a difficult time. Life can be SO challenging sometimes; can't it? Wouldn't you rather be the kind of person that rises to the challenge instead of backing down and taking the easy road out?
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
When we enter into the covenant of marriage, we agree before God, friends and family that we will love our partner for better or for worse. It doesn't qualify how MUCH worse.
Are you certain you are in a loveless marriage? Did you stop loving your spouse? If so, have you told them? Are you certain your spouse no longer loves you? Have they told you as much?
Sometimes it feels like we've lost love, when in all actuality, we've forgotten how to love. Sometimes we think, "I've SAID I love you. Isn't that enough?" However, love is an ACTION verb. It needs to be shown - and if we're not getting the kinds of responses we'd like from our spouse, maybe it's time to take a look at what we're doing or more importantly -what we're not doing.
Which brings me to my next point -
You have a sense of morals -as you've indicated. And you know right from wrong. Following the logic here -I know it's bad,but it makes me "feel" good -then it would be acceptable for someone to say, "I know that getting wasted and robbing gas stations is wrong, but you know what? It makes me feel good." Or, "I know it's wrong to kill people, but I get such a rush from it and I feel alive when I do it. "
The "it's wrong, but I like it" mentality is pervasive in today's society. It's evidenced everywhere." I, personally, would be sad-hearted to know that it was more important to you to follow this trend than take the high road.
There's also the basic law, golden rule, reap-what-you-sow, karma issue, Do Unto Others as You Would Have Done to You.
Do you really want to find out what comes from disrespecting your spouse, your marriage, your children, your word AND your self?? It probably wouldn't end up to pleasant.
A word of hope: There is still time to change. There is still time. A trick that works for some is to try and treat your spouse as specially as you treat your partner-in-crime, so to speak. You can even "pretend" that your spouse is your partner. Lift up your spouse. Tell them the things you'd like to hear.
I'll pray for you and your marriage - as well as that of the one with whom you are sharing this burden. Jesus is a blessing to those who have un-realized dreams and expectations. Ask Him to help you...Ask Him to teach you how to create more love in your home, by showing you His Love for YOU!
2007-03-23 18:47:18 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs.M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know in your heart that this is wrong. So stop, when your husband finds out and he will, it will be a disaster! Also, put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if he were cheating on you? Then the kids, if they find out you will loose their respect and it is very hard to regain it.
It's never worth it at the end. You still have time to end it and try to better your marriage. Get help, see a marriage counselor, or try talking to your husband and work it out. Marriage is not easy but you have to try. This affair will get you no where and you'll feel even more confused in the end. Try working things out and if they don't then at least you know you gave it your all and really worked at it. May God Bless and keep your spirits up.
2007-03-23 19:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by ING 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if you can't be open or honest about the extramarital affair with each other as spouses, that it is innately not such a good thing. If you can, well, then those are parameters of your relationship that are agreed upon.
2007-03-23 18:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Noneya Dambiz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can make whatever excuse you want for the two of you cheating together. But give me an example of how something like this has EVER ended well! Or do you honestly think that you two will be the first one's???
2007-03-23 18:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce. Never cheat on your partner and your kids, it isn't right. Have the guts to be honest.
2007-03-23 18:05:57 · answer #6 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of question is this???? Are you seriously asking if infidelity can be a GOOD thing? How morally corrupted are you to even consider asking this question?? Our society is going straight down the toilet thanks to people like yourself.
2007-03-23 18:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by jay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, and wish I could find the other women for emotional support.
2007-03-23 18:07:28 · answer #8 · answered by skcs11 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you both are cheating jerks. Of course your relationship is loveless because you are putting your love in another one.
2007-03-23 18:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sparky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that eventually feelings are going to develop between you both and that is where it is going to get difficult.
2007-03-23 18:06:29 · answer #10 · answered by SuzyQ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋