should i wait?

Question

is it really better to wait and get married after graduating college? My family all want me to wait until i graduate to get married, but i dont see why that would be a problem?? Clear things up for me, is it really a problem?

Answer 1

They just don't want you to get off track. Marriage is a big step and requires alot of attention. You may not think it will affect you and school, but it might. Best of luck.

Answer 2

It's a matter of priorities. If you choose to get married before graduating college, things could be much much MUCH harder for both you and your husband (if he is still in college). You may have more emotional stress, you'll be more tired, you won't be able to devote as much energy to college and you won't have nearly as much money to go to college with.

At the same time if this guy is doing what he should, you'll be comforted, you'll be lifted up from where you are at and able to do things that you couldn't do by yourself. He could help you with your studies. You may even have more money to work with.

When you get married, your mind will be on that other person. He'll be your life and you'll be his. You'll both be on each other's minds every moment, so you will likely find it hard to concentrate enough to get all of your school work done.

There's also the thought that, what if you graduate and have a college degree, but your husband doesn't? Will you still want to be with this guy? Or will you hit it off better with someone on your own level? Lots of questions, but it's something to think about.

Basically, it adds a whole new level to your life. Suddenly you aren't just living for yourself, you're living for another person. And that can make things complicated.

Answer 3

Ok to be totally honest with you, me and my bf are ready to get married but we are waiting until after graduation from college, which hopefully will be next year, cuz we've alrady been dating 2 years. The thing is, I understand ya'll might feel a deep love for one another right now and feel like ya'll wanna get married, but don't u think if your love is that strong, that it can wait until you both are done w/college. Thik of it this way, when you graduate college, you will have a diploma which will give you the WORLD.. that is your life insurance right there, it will help u get a job anywhere. With that, you both can be financially secure, that way you can have a nice wedding, you can buy a house or apt. of ya'll's own when your married, you can afford to be on your own and be a married couple! I think it's best to wait!

Answer 4

Here are some things to consider:
(1) If you still have some college time, your financial aid will change drastically if you get married -- your husband's income (if any) will be computed in; you'll likely be expected to contribute more; your parents contribution will change; the types of loans you can apply for will change (probably for the worse!)
(2) Marriage means compromise; what if he gets a different job -- do you want to transfer schools? Will you be willing to forego school activities to have "married people time"? Do you want to live in married student housing (or off campus)? What happens if he says "I want you to stop going to school to raise a family."? What if he "decides" to move? Will you be willing to sacrifice it all for your marriage? More importantly, will those sacrifices be in your best interest?

Perhaps now you see why people want to wait till after school to get married.

Answer 5

Your goals often change with such an emotional commitment if the feelings are mutual and long lasting as is required to make a long happy marriage than the waiting should be no problem at all for either of you - REALLY - so enjoy all the little things of dating and have a nice life!

Answer 6

They are concerned that if you get married, your priorities will change and you won't graduate from college. It's just concern for you. If the relationship is going to last, odds are marriage can wait until you graduate from college.

Answer 7

you have the rest of your life to get married, your parents are right although you don't understand yet
I got married @ 21 (now 37) I was too young, Ive changed so much since then. I'm now happily married for the second and last time. The divorce was the worst time of my life. Just wait.

Answer 8

Hey, your a grown up women. If you want to say I Do. Do it. whether you wait or you do it now, it's still the same. Your family really aren't being to understanding of your feelings. Maybe they are more traditional. But in the end it's all about how you feel and what you feel. How do you feel? what do you think is the answer to you hearts questions? Only you can determine that, not your family.

Answer 9

It depends on so many things...Like your financial level...your maturity level.....How well could you handle marriage and school...another big thing ..Is your boyfriend in school and does he have a job???...What you need to do is write down all of the positive things about getting married before graduating and the negative things...see which list is greater ...this should help tremendously......Discuss with your parents after you do it.....good luck dear....

Answer 10

I suppose it may not really make a difference either way. What's the rush? Just wait until after graduation.

Answer 11

If you wait until you're at least 25, your marriage is more likely to succeed! You change so much during your twenties and sometimes you grow apart. Just make sure you are POSITIVE this is the person you will be spending the rest of your life with.