What is a reasonable time for my 14yr old son to have his g/f go home?

Question

Everyone keeps telling me that 9:30-10pm, but I don't see a problem. He gets good grades and obeys so why shouldn't I allow him to spend time with his girlfriend? She usually leaves around 11:30 or so (and yes, on school nights). Just thought I'd get a larger answer

Answer 1

THIS IS A SIMPLE ANSWER

No Later than 9:00 on weekdays. After 9:00, you can guarantee sexual activities. If supervised every 20-30 minutes you could make it 10:00. I wouldn't allow them into his bedroom period. They could be outside or in the entertainment room watching tv/etc. On weekends, I'd agree with 11:00 for a 14yr old to be at the house and later 12:00 for movie theater/skating/etc. Parental supervision is the key. No Bedrooms! Neither kid is ready for any form of sexual activity and id recommend waiting until their 16 and up before giving them more space...and time on their...own.

Answer 2

I personally think that 11:30 is too late for a 14 yr old to be out on the week night. But maybe talk to the girl's parents and find out what time they want their daughter to be home.

Your son may be making good grades now, but I have seen a lot of boys lose focus of their school work around the age of 13-15 because girls suddenly become more important.

Answer 3

It's kind of unhealthy for your son to spend so much time with a girl at that age. There are so many other things to focus on besides a gf, and just because it hasn't affected his grades doesn't mean that it won't eventually begin to affect them. I see not much difference between her going home at 10:00 to her going home at 11:30, but I don't think he should become so involved with someone for them to hang out at your house EVERY day. He should break it up a little bit to prevent him from getting too involved. I don't know whether her visits to your house are supervised, but the last thing you need is a potential pregnancy at that age. Your son is too young to be so involved and it's your responsibility as his parent to set standards and draw the lines for him. You may not see a problem with this now, but it could eventually develop into a more obvious problem.

Answer 4

You really allow your son's girlfriend to stay till 11:30 on school nights?

Sorry, that irresponsible in light of the fact their job at their respective ages is to attend school and be able to function optimally to study and succeed in life.

Save the 11:30-midnite hour for the weekends Mom and limit their Monday through Thursday "socializing" as a once a week activity, if even that.

Grace

PS Mother of a son who knows better.

Answer 5

Im glad you have a good son. but you dont want him to start going the wrong direction do you? by you letting him do this might make him start thinking he can do whatever he wants. he also needs to get a good nights sleep, that is very important for a 14 year old that is going to school early in the morning and if he is getting good grades he must be working his brain very hard and needs to rest. i believe that if you trust your son as you say you do, on weekends (fridays and saturdays) nights his girlfriend can stay until whatever time. but during week nights when he has school she should be leaving at 8

Answer 6

Well, 11:30 is a little late for me, I'm 19 now and my bf only stays till 12:00. That's on a Saturday too. Maybe a little earlier on school nights and later on the weekends, that's what my parents did. You know stay till about 10:30 on school nights and let me out a little later on the weekends. It always worked too.

Answer 7

how old is she? it might sound weird but 12 at night is ok for her to go home but you dont want her father to think that he is afraid of him so let him spend the night there for a little while 2-4 times a month and her over at your house just the same

Answer 8

Well, and I might be going to an extreme but how do you like the sound of "GRANDMA", if the situation that you are in doesn't permit the chance of that happening, then what do her parents think? if you all agree then were is the problem? close supervision has to be a must though

Answer 9

If you are comfortable with that and her parents are too, then more power to ya. Personally, I think 10 is more realistic, but to each their own. I wasn't allowed to stay out after 10 until I was 16.

Answer 10

I'm sorry. I have a 14 year old and eleven thirty on a school night is not appropriate good grades or not. Nine- thirty is good. He's only 14, let's not push!