It's a dream I just remembered and wrote down a second ago...
In my dreams darkness is light
In this coma state, my hearts wings take flight
I no longer fear the darkness of the night
For, In my dreams, all of the world is right
Epiffony consumes me
There shines the room, illuminous white
What does this dream mean?
I ponder with all of my might
so what do ya think?
2007-03-23 10:30:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
The thoughts you are trying to express are good ones, beautiful ones. With some tweaking here and there, this could be lovely and expressive prose.
Maybe you could replace some common phrases ("all of the world is right") and ("with all of my might") with more unique ones. Use some less trite words, maybe?
I've been reading and looking at lots of poems people are posting, I might share one of mine today. Maybe you could return the favor and share your thoughts?
God bless.
2007-03-23 10:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great job at writing it, but the idea is very common.
2007-03-24 01:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typical amateurish prose.
2007-03-23 17:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better you stop writing... Read Robert Frost...
2007-03-23 18:46:13 · answer #4 · answered by SEE YOU LATER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i write poems all the time, and i really like this one.
2007-03-23 17:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really like it... it sounds like your a really good poet, because i am not that good of a poet. it sounds really nice, keep writing good poetry!!!
2007-03-23 17:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely love it!
2007-03-23 17:34:20 · answer #7 · answered by JD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋